DON'T ASK ME WHAT THEY NEED OFFICES IN THE U.S. FOR...
DOD: STANDS
FOR DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE THESE ARE THE BOYS WHO RENT OFFICE SPACE IN THE
PENTAGON... THEY ARE THE ARMED FORCES, HERE TO PROTECT US FROM THE VILE
ARMIES OF OTHER NATIONS...
PENTAGON (202) 545-6700
DARPA:
STANDS FOR DEFENSE ADVANCED RESEARCH PROJECTS AGENCY. THESE ARE THE BOYS
WHO MAKE WEAPONS FOR THE MILITARY. THEY ARE VERY UP ON PARTICLE BEAM WEAPONS,
LASERS, MISSLE TRACKING, AND EVEN BIOCYBERNETICS (THE DIRECT INTERFACING
OF MAN AND MACHINE- IMAGING HACKING AS FAST AS YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IT...
THIS HAS POTENTIAL).
ARLINGTON, VA (202) 694-3007
NSA: STANDS
FOR NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY. THESE ARE THE BRAIN BOYS, THE THINK TANKS
FOR THE THE MILITARY. IF YOU HAVE NIGHTMARES, THESE PEOPLE ARiE THE ONES
WHO SHOULD BE STARRING. THEY ARE THE GOVT. COMPUTER AND TELECOM EXPERTS.
(301) 688-6311
DOJ: STANDS
FOR DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE THIS IS THE COURT SYSTEM, HOWEVER I DO NOT AGREE
WITH THEIR IDEA OF JUSTICE (WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FRO A MAN WHO THINKS G.
GORDON LIDDY IS COOL?).
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 633-2000
FBI: STANDS
FOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS. THESE ARE THE NOSEY PEOPLE IN THE
WORLD WHO BUST IN DOORS. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, MOST OF THEM KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
WHAT THEY DO SINCE THEIR COLLEGE DEGREES ARE IN ECONOMICS AND ACCOUNTING
AND THE LIKE. FRANKLY, THESE GUYS DON'T SCARE ME... THEY ARE PRETTY DUMB,
AND ARE TOTALLY OUT OF THEIR CLASS WHEN IT COMES TO COMPUTERS.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 324-3000 (A
SIDE NOTE: LOOK AT A TOUCH TONE PAD. 324 EITHER SPELLS 'FBI' OR 'FAG'.
I WONDER IF SOMEONE IN THE TELCO HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR?)
DEA: STANDS
FOR DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. IF YOU WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND THEIR IS SOMEONE
DIGGING IN YOUR 'GARDEN' IT IS THEM. THEY DON'T LIKE YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF,
OR ENGAGE IN A LITTLE RECREATIONAL SOARING...
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 633-1249
DOS: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF STATE. WHEN YOU HACK THE RUSSIAN COMPUTER, THEY AREN'T PLEASED, ONE OF TWO GROUPS WILL KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR. THE TELCO OR THE STATE DEPARTMENT.
THE KGB:
JUST IS A GROUP OF GUYS WHO ARE VERY GOOD LIARS AND VERY GOOD AT
READING PEOPLE. THEY KEEP WATCH FROM THE EMBASSY...
WASH NGTON, D.C. (202) 655-4000
DOT: STANDS
FOR DEPARTMENT OF TREASURY THROW AWAY THE COLOR XEROX MACHINE WHEN THESE
PEOPLE KNOCK, SINCE THEY DON'T LIKE YOU PASSING BAD BILLS. THEY KEEP TRACK
AND PRINT ALL THE MONEY IN THE COUNTRY (EXCEPT FOR A FEW FRIENDS OF MINE
WHO...)
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-2000
SECRET SERVICE:
FOR THE MOST PART, THE SECRET SERVICE PROTECTS THE PRESIDENT (THAT'S WHY
WE HAVE LOST A FEW), GRABS COUNTERFEITERS, AND USED TO BUST MOBSTERS.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 535-5708 (NOTE:
DO THE INITIALS 'SS' MEAN MUCH TO THOSE OF YOU UP ON THE NAZIS????)
BUREAU OF ALCOHOL,
TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS: FRANKLY, I COULD DO WITHOUT THESE DO-GOODERS.
THEY ENFORCE ALL LAWS PERTAINING TO ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS (IF
IT WASN'T OBVIOUS).
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-7511
IRS: STANDS
FOR INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE. ARG! THE TAX MAN! THE ONLY THING IS, THEIR
COMPUTER WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE HACK. THINK ABOUT IT...
WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-5000
THIS FILE IS A PUBLIC SERVICE PROVIDED BY THE LEADER OF THE KNIGHTS OF SHADOW