The Guilty River.................................................................................................................................................1

Wilkie Collins..........................................................................................................................................1

FOR reasons of my own, I excused myself from accompanying my stepmother to a dinnerparty given in our

neighborhood. In my present humor, I preferred being aloneand, as a means of getting through my idle

Provided with a brush and a mixture of rum and treacle, I went into Fordwitch Wood to set the snare, familiar

The summer evening was hot and still; the time was between dusk and dark. After ten years of absence in

foreign parts, I perceived changes in the outskirts of the wood, which warned me not to enter it too

confidently when I might find a difficulty in seeing my way. Remaining among the outermost trees, I painted

the trunks with my treacherous mixturewhich allured the insects of the night, and stupefied them when

they settled on its rank surface. The snare being set, I waited to see the intoxication of the moths.

A time passed, dull and dreary. The mysterious assemblage of trees was blacker than the blackening sky. Of

millions of leaves over my head, none pleased my ear, in the airless calm, with their rustling summer song.

The first flying creatures, dimly visible by moments under the gloomy sky, were enemies whom I well knew

by experience. Many a fine insect specimen have I lost, when the bats were near me in search of their evening

What had happened before, in other woods, happened now. The first moth that I had snared was a large one,

and a specimen well worth securing. As I stretched out my hand to take it, the apparition of a flying shadow

passed, swift and noiseless, between me and the tree. In less than an instant the insect was snatched away,

when my fingers were within an inch of it. The bat had begun his supper, and the man and the mixture had

Out of five moths caught, I became the victim of clever theft in the case of three. The other two, of no great

value as specimens, I was just quick enough to secure. Under other circumstances, my patience as a collector

would still have been a match for the dexterity of the bats. But on that eveninga memorable evening when

I look back at it nowmy spirits were depressed, and I was easily discouraged. My favorite studies of the

insectworld seemed to have lost their value in my estimation. In the silence and the darkness I lay down

I am Gerard Roylake, son and only child of the late Gerard Roylake of Trimley Deen.

At twentytwo years of age, my father's death had placed me in possession of his large landed property. On

my arrival from Germany, only a few hours since, the servants innocently vexed me. When I drove up to the

door, I heard them say to each other: "Here is the young Squire." My father used to be called "the old Squire."

I shrank from being reminded of himnot as other sons in my position might have said, because it renewed

my sorrow for his death. There was no sorrow in me to be renewed. It is a shocking confession to make: my

Our mothers have the most sacred of all claims on our gratitude and our love. They have nourished us with

their blood; they have risked their lives in bringing us into the world; they have preserved and guided our

helpless infancy with divine patience and love. What claim equally strong and equally tender does the other

parent establish on his offspring? What motive does the instinct of his young children find for preferring their

father before any other person who may be a familiar object in their daily lives? They love himnaturally

and rightly love himbecause he lives in their remembrance (if he is a good man) as the first, the best, the

My father was a bad man. He was my mother's worst enemy; and he was never my friend.

The little that I know of the world tells me that it is not the common lot in life of women to marry the object

of their first love. A sense of duty had compelled my mother to part with the man who had won her heart, in

the first days of her maidenhood; and my father had discovered it, after his marriage. His insane jealousy

foully wronged the truest wife, the most longsuffering woman that ever lived. I have no patience to write of

it. For ten miserable years she suffered her martyrdom; she lived through it, dear angel, sweet suffering soul,

for my sake. At her death, my father was able to gratify his hatred of the son whom he had never believed to

be his own child. Under pretence of preferring the foreign system of teaching, he sent me to a school in

France. My education having been so far completed, I was next transferred to a German University. Never

again did I see the place of my birth, never did I get a letter from home, until the family lawyer wrote from

Trimley Deen, requesting me to assume possession of my house and lands, under the entail.

I should not even have known that my father had taken a second wife but for some friend (or enemy)I

never discovered the personwho sent me a newspaper containing an announcement of the marriage.

When we saw each other for the first time, my stepmother and I met necessarily as strangers. We were

elaborately polite, and we each made a meritorious effort to appear at our ease. On her side, she found herself

confronted by a young man, the new master of the house, who looked more like a foreigner than an

Englishmanwho, when he was congratulated (in view of the approaching season) on the admirable

preservation of his partridges and pheasants, betrayed an utter want of interest in the subject; and who

showed no sense of shame in acknowledging that his principal amusements were derived from reading books,

and collecting insects. How I must have disappointed Mrs. Roylake! and how considerately she hid from me

Turning next to my own impressions, I discovered in my newlyfound relative, a little lighteyed,

lighthaired, elegant woman; trim, and bright, and smiling; dressed to perfection, clever to her fingers' ends,

skilled in making herself agreeableand yet, in spite of these undeniable fascinations, perfectly

incomprehensible to me. After my experience of foreign society, I was incapable of understanding the

extraordinary importance which my stepmother seemed to attach to rank and riches, entirely for their own

sakes. When she described my unknown neighbors, from one end of the county to the other, she took it for

granted that I must be interested in them on account of their titles and their fortunes. She held me up to my

own face, as a kind of idol to myself, without producing any better reason than might be found in my

inheritance of an income of sixteen thousand pounds. And when I expressed (in excusing myself for not

accompanying her, uninvited, to the dinnerparty) a perfectly rational doubt whether I might prove to be a

welcome guest, Mrs. Roylake held up her delicate little hands in unutterable astonishment. "My dear Gerard,

in your position!" She appeared to think that this settled the question. I submitted in silence; the truth is, I was

beginning already to despair of my prospects. Kind as my stepmother was, and agreeable as she was, what

chance could I see of establishing any true sympathy between us? And, if my neighbors resembled her in

their ways of thinking, what hope could I feel of finding new friends in England to replace the friends in

Germany whom I had lost? A stranger among my own country people, with the everyday habits and

everyday pleasures of my youthful life left behind mewithout plans or hopes to interest me in looking at

the futureit is surely not wonderful that my spirits had sunk to their lowest ebb, and that I even failed to

Perhaps the journey to England had fatigued me, or perhaps the controlling influences of the dark and silent

night proved irresistible. This only is certain: my solitary meditations under the tree ended in sleep.

The moon had risen. In the outward part of the wood, beyond which I had not advanced, the pure and

welcome light penetrated easily through the scattered trees. I got up and looked about me. A path into the

wood now showed itself, broader and better kept than any path that I could remember in the days of my

Following the new track, I found that it led to a little glade which I at once recognized. The place was

changed in one respect only. A neglected waterspring had been cleared of brambles and stones, and had

been provided with a drinking cup, a rustic seat, and a Latin motto on a marble slab. The spring at once

reminded me of a greater body of watera river, at some little distance farther on, which ran between the

trees on one side, and the desolate open country on the other. Ascending from the glade, I found myself in

Unless my memory was at fault, this was the way which led to an old watermill on the riverbank. The

image of the great turning wheel, which halffrightened halffascinated me when I was a child, now

presented itself to my memory for the first time after an interval of many years. In my present frame of mind,

the old scene appealed to me with the irresistible influence of an old friend. I said to myself: "Shall I walk on,

and try if I can find the river and the mill again?" This perfectly trifling question to decide presented to me,

nevertheless, fantastic difficulties so absurd that they might have been difficulties encountered in a dream. To

advancedreconsidered my decision, without knowing whyand turning in the opposite direction, set my

face towards the river once more. I wonder how my life would have ended, if I had gone the other way?

The moonlight, pouring its unclouded radiance over open space, failed to throw a beauty not their own on

those sluggish waters. Broad and muddy, their stealthy current flowed onward to the sea, without a rock to

diversify, without a bubble to break, the sullen surface. On the side from which I was looking at the river, the

neglected trees grew so close together that they were undermining their own lives, and poisoning each other.

On the opposite bank, a rank growth of gigantic bulrushes hid the ground beyond, except where it rose in

hillocks, and showed its surface of desert sand spotted here and there by mean patches of health. A repellent

river in itself, a repellent river in its surroundings, a repellent river even in its name. It was called The Loke.

Neither popular tradition nor antiquarian research could explain what the name meant, or could tell when the

name had been given. "We call it The Loke; they do say no fish can live in it; and it dirties the clean salt

water when it runs into the sea." Such was the character of the river in the estimation of the people who knew

it best. But I was pleased to see The Loke again. The ugly river, like the woodland glade, looked at me with

The wheel was motionless, at that time of night; and the whole structure lookedas remembered objects will

look, when we see them again after a long intervalsmaller than I had supposed it to be. Otherwise, I could

discover no change in the mill. But the wooden cottage attached to it had felt the devastating march of time.

A portion of the decrepit building still stood revealed in its wretched old age; propped, partly by beams which

reached from the thatched roof to the ground, and partly by the wall of a new cottage attached, presenting in

yellow brickwork a hideous modern contrast to all that was left of its ancient neighbor.

Had the miller whom I remembered, died; and were these changes the work of his successor? I thought of

asking the question, and tried the door: it was fastened. The windows were all dark excepting one, which I

discovered in the upper storey, at the farther side of the new building. Here, there was a dim light burning. It

was impossible to disturb a person, who, for all I knew to the contrary, might be going to bed. I turned back

to The Loke, proposing to extend my walk, by a mile or a little more, to a village that I remembered on the

I had not advanced far, when the stillness around me was disturbed by an intermittent sound of splashing in

the water. Pausing to listen, I heard next the working of oars in their rowlocks. After another interval a boat

appeared, turning a projection in the bank, and rowed by a woman pulling steadily against the stream.

As the boat approached me in the moonlight, this person corrected my first impression, and revealed herself

as a young girl. So far as I could perceive she was a stranger to me. Who could the girl be, alone on the river

at that time of night? Idly curious I followed the boat, instead of pursuing my way to the village, to see

Taking a key from her pocket, she was about to open the door of the cottage, when I advanced and spoke to

her. As far from recognizing her as ever, I found myself nevertheless thinking of an odd outspoken child,

living at the mill in past years, who had been one of my poor mother's favorites at our village school. I ran the

risk of offending her, by bluntly expressing the thought which was then in my mind.

The question seemed to amuse her. "Why shouldn't I be Cristel Toller?" she asked.

"You were a little girl," I explained, "when I saw you last. You are so altered nowand so improvedthat I

should never have guessed you might be the daughter of Giles Toller of the mill, if I had not seen you

She acknowledged my compliment by a curtsey, which reminded me again of the village school. "Thank you,

She studied my face, with a mental effort to remember me, which gathered her pretty eyebrows together

"There's something in his eyes," she remarked, not speaking to me but to herself, "which doesn't seem to be

quite strange. But I don't know his voice, and I don't know his beard." She considered a little, and addressed

herself directly to me once more. "Now I look at you again, you seem to be a gentleman. Are you one?"

While in charge of the boat, the miller's daughter had been rowing with bared arms; beautiful dusky arms, at

once delicate and strong. Thus far, she had forgotten to cover them up. The moment mentioned my name, she

started back as if I had frightened herpulled her sleeves down in a hurryand hid the objects of my

"You used to be such a sweetspoken pretty little boy," she said, "how should I know you again, with a big

voice and all that hair on your face?" It seemed to strike her on a sudden that she had been too familiar. "Oh,

Lord," I heard her say to herself, "half the county belongs to him!" She tried another apology, and hit this

time on the conventional form. "I beg your pardon, sir. Welcome back to your own country, sir. I wish you

She attempted to escape into the cottage; I followed her to the threshold of the door. "Surely it's not time to

She was still on her good behavior to her landlord. "Not if you object to it, sir," she answered.

This recognition of my authority was irresistible. Cristel had laid me under an obligation to her good

influence for which I felt sincerely gratefulshe had made me laugh, for the first time since my return to

"We needn't say goodnight just yet," I suggested; "I want to hear a little more about you. Shall I come in?"

She stepped out of the doorway even more rapidly than she had stepped into it. I might have been mistaken,

but I thought Cristel seemed to be actually alarmed by my proposal. We walked up and down the riverbank.

On every occasion when we approached the cottage, I detected her in stealing a look at the ugly modern part

of it. There could be no mistake this time; I saw doubt, I saw anxiety in her face. What was going on at the

mill? I made some domestic inquiries, beginning with her father. Was the miller alive and well?

"They were waiting for a sack of flour down there," she replied, pointing in the direction of the riverside

village. "Father isn't as quick as he used to be. He's often late over his work now."

Was there no one to give Giles Toller the help that he must need at his age? "Do you and your father really

A change of expression appeared in her bright brown eyes which roused my curiosity. I also observed that

she evaded a direct reply. "What makes you doubt, sir, if father and I live alone?" she asked.

I pointed to the new cottage. "That ugly building," I answered, "seems to give you more room than you

I had no intention of trying to force the reply from her which she had hitherto withheld; but she appeared to

put that interpretation on what I had said. "If you will have it," she burst out, "there is somebody else living

I was quite unprepared for such a reply as this: Cristel had surprised me. To begin with, her father was

"wellconnected," as we say in England. His younger brother had made a fortune in commerce, and had

vainly offered him the means of retiring from the mill with a sufficient income. Then again, Giles Toller was

known to have saved money. His domestic expenses made no heavy demand on his purse; his German wife

(whose Christian name was now borne by his daughter) had died long since; his sons were no burden on him;

they had never lived at the mill in my remembrance. With all these reasons against his taking a stranger into

his house, he had nevertheless, if my interpretation of Cristel's answer was the right one, let his spare rooms

"The more money father has, the more he wants. That's the reason," she added bitterly, "why he asked for

"I don't know. Is a man a gentleman, if he keeps a servant? Oh, don't trouble to think about it, sir! It isn't

She turned on me with a look of angry amazementnot undeserved, I must own, on my partwhich

showed her dark beauty in the perfection of its luster and its power. To my eyes she was at the moment

irresistibly charming. I daresay I was blind to the defects in her face. My good German tutor used to lament

that there was too much of my boyhood still left in me. Honestly admiring her, I let my favorable opinion

express itself a little too plainly. "What a splendid creature you are!" I burst out. Cristel did her duty to

herself and to me; she passed over my little explosion of nonsense without taking the smallest notice of it.

"Master Gerard," she beganand checked herself. "Please to excuse me, sir; you have set my head running

on old times. What I want to say is: you were not so inquisitive when you were a young gentleman in short

jackets. Please behave as you used to behave then, and don't say anything more about our lodger. I hate him

Ignorant as I was of the natures of women, I understood her at last. Cristel's opinion of the lodger was

evidently the exact opposite of the lodger's opinion of Cristel. When I add that this discovery did decidedly

operate as a relief to my mind, the impression produced on me by the miller's daughter is stated without

"Goodnight," she repeated, "for the last time." I held out my hand. "Is it quite right, sir," she modestly

She did it nevertheless; and dropping my hand, cast a farewell look at the mysterious object of her

interestthe new cottage. Her variable humor changed on the instant. Apparently in a state of unendurable

irritation, she stamped on the ground. "Just what I didn't want to happen!" she said to herself.

I too, looked at the cottage, and made a discovery that surprised me at one of the upper windows.

If I could be sure that the moon had not deceived me, the most beautiful face that I had ever seen was looking

down on usand it was the face of a man! By the uncertain light I could discern the perfection of form in the

features, and the expression of power which made it impossible to mistake the stranger for a woman,

although his hair grew long and he was without either moustache or beard. He was watching us intently; he

She tossed her head contemptuously: my expression of admiration seemed to have irritated her.

"I didn't want him to see you!" she said. "The lodger persecutes me with his attentions; he's impudent enough

She spoke without even attempting to lower her voice. I endeavored to warn her. "He's at the window still," I

"The man is deaf. Don't look at him again. Don't speak to me again. Go homepray go home!"

Without further explanation, she abruptly entered the cottage, and shut the door.

As I turned into the path which led through the wood I heard a voice behind me. It said: "Stop, sir." I stopped

directly, standing in the shadow cast by the outermost line of trees, which I had that moment reached. In the

moonlight that I had left behind me, I saw again the man whom I had discovered at the window. His figure,

tall and slim; his movements, graceful and easy, were in harmony with his beautiful face. He lifted his long

His voice startled me even more than his words; I had never heard anything like it before. Low, dull, and

muffled, it neither rose nor fell; it spoke slowly and deliberately, without laying the slightest emphasis on any

one of the words that it uttered. In the astonishment of the moment, I forgot what Cristel had told me. I

answered him as I should have answered any other unknown person who had spoken to me.

His hands dropped; his head sunk on his breast. "You are speaking, sir, to a miserable creature who can't hear

I stepped nearer to him, intending to raise my voice in pity for his infirmity. He shuddered, and signed to me

"Don't come close to my ear; don't shout." As he spoke, strong excitement flashed at me in his eyes, without

producing the slightest change in his voice. "I don't deny," he resumed, "that I can hear sometimes when

people take that way with me. They hurt when they do it. Their voices go through my nerves as a knife might

go through my flesh. I live at the mill, sir; I have a great favour to ask. Will you come and speak to me in my

I hesitated. Any other man in my place, would, I think, have done the same; receiving such an invitation as

this from a stranger, whose pitiable infirmity seemed to place him beyond the pale of social intercourse.

He must have guessed what was passing in my mind; he tried me again in words which might have proved

"I can't help being a stranger to you; I can't help being deaf. You're a young man. You look more merciful

and more patient than young men in general. Won't you hear what I have to say? Won't you tell me what I

How were we to communicate? Did he by any chance suppose that I had learnt the finger alphabet? I touched

my fingers and shook my head, as a means of dissipating his delusion, if it existed.

"Even if you knew the finger alphabet," he said, "it would be of no use. I have been too miserable to learn

itmy deafness only came on me a little more than a year since. Pardon me if I am obliged to give you

troubleI ask persons who pity me to write their answers when I speak to them. Come to my room, and you

Was his will, as compared with mine, the stronger will of the two? And was it helped (insensibly to myself)

by his advantages of personal appearance? I can only confess that his apology presented a picture of misery

to my mind, which shook my resolution to refuse him. His ready penetration discovered this change in his

favour: he at once took advantage of it. "Five minutes of your time is all I ask for," he said. "Won't you

indulge a man who sees his fellowcreatures all talking happily round him, and feels dead and buried among

The very exaggeration of his language had its effect on my mind. It revealed to me the horrible isolation

among humanity of the deaf, as I had never understood it yet. Discretion is, I am sorry to say, not one of the

strong points in my character. I committed one more among the many foolish actions of my life; I signed to

Giles Toller's miserly nature had offered to his lodger shelter from wind and rain, and the furniture absolutely

necessary to make a bedroom habitableand nothing more. There was no carpet on the floor, no paper on

the walls, no ceiling to hide the rafters of the roof. The chair that I sat on was the one chair in the room; the

man whose guest I had rashly consented to be found a seat on his bed. Upon his table I saw pens and pencils,

paper and ink, and a battered brass candlestick with a common tallow candle in it. His changes of clothing

were flung on the bed; his money was left on the unpainted wooden chimneypiece; his wretched little

morsel of lookingglass (propped up near the money) had been turned with its face to the wall. He perceived

"Vanity and I have parted company," he explained; "I shrink from myself when I look at myself now. The

ugliest man livingif he has got his hearingis a more agreeable man in society than I am. Does this

He pushed a pencil and some sheets of writingpaper across the table to me. I wrote my reply: "The place

He shook his head. "Your sympathy is thrown away on me. A man who has lost his social relations with his

fellowcreatures doesn't care how he lodges or where he lives. When he has found solitude, he has found all

he wants for the rest of his days. Shall we introduce ourselves? It won't be easy for me to set the example."

"Because you will expect me to give you my name. I can't do it. I have ceased to bear my family name; and,

being out of society, what need have I for an assumed name? As for my Christian name, it's so detestably

ugly that I hate the sight and sound of it. Here, they know me as The Lodger. Will you have that? or will you

have an appropriate nickname? I come of a mixed breed; and I'm likely, after what has happened to me, to

turn out a worthless fellow. Call me The Cur. Oh, you needn't start! that's as accurate a description of me as

"Young, personally attractive, and a great landowner," he said. I saw you just now talking familiarly with

He was ready with his reply. "I mean this: you owe something to the good luck which has placed you where

This (to a young man like me) was unendurable insolence. I had hitherto refrained from taking him at his own

bitter word in the matter of nickname. In the irritation of the moment, I now first resolved to adopt his

suggestion seriously. The next slip of paper that I handed to him administered the smartest rebuff that my dull

brains could discover on the spur of the moment: "The Cur is requested to keep his advice till he is asked for

For the first time, something like a smile showed itself faintly on his lipsand represented the only effect

which my severity had produced. He still followed his own train of thought, as resolutely and as

"I haven't seen you talking to Cristel before tonight. Have you been meeting her in secret?"

In justice to the girl, I felt that I ought to set him right, so far. Taking up the pencil again, I told this strange

man that I had just returned to England, after an absence of many years in foreign countriesthat I had

known Cristel when we were both childrenand that I had met her purely by accident, when he had detected

us talking outside the cottage. Seeing me pause, after advancing to that point in the writing of my reply, he

held out his hand impatiently for the paper. I signed him to wait, and added a last sentence: "Understand this;

He read what I had written with the closest attention. But his inveterate suspicion of me was not set at rest,

This assertion of my will against his roused him. He stopped me at the doornot by a motion of his hand but

by the mastery of his look. The dim candlelight afforded me no help in determining the color of his eyes.

Dark, large, and finely set in his head, there was a sinister passion in them, at that moment, which held me in

spite of myself. Still as monotonous as ever, his voice in some degree expressed the frenzy that was in him,

"Mr. Roylake, I love her. Mr. Roylake, I am determined to marry her. Any man who comes between me and

that cruel girlah, she's as hard as one of her father's millstones; it's the misery of my life, it's the joy of my

life, to love herI tell you, young sir, any man who comes between Cristel and me does it at his peril.

I had no wish to give offencebut his threatening me in this manner was so absurd that I gave way to the

impression of the moment, and laughed. He stepped up to me, with such an expression of demoniacal rage

"I amuse you, do I?" he said. "You don't know the man you're trifling with. You had better know me. You

shall know me." He turned away, and walked up and down the wretched little room, deep in thought. "I don't

want this matter between us to end badly," he said, interrupting his meditationsthen returning to them

againand then once more addressing me. "You're young, you're thoughtless; but you don't look like a bad

fellow. I wonder whether I can trust you? Not one man in a thousand would do it. Never mind. I'm the one

With this incoherent expression of a resolution unknown to me, he unlocked a shabby trunk hidden in a

"Men of your age," he resumed, "seldom look below the surface. Learn that valuable habit, sirand begin by

looking below the surface of Me." He forced the portfolio into my hand. Once more, his beautiful eyes held

me with their irresistible influence; they looked at me with an expression of sad and solemn warning.

"Discover for yourself," he said, "what devils my deafness has set loose in me; and let no eyes but yours see

that horrid sight. You will find me here tomorrow, and you will decide by that time whether you make an

He threw open the door, and bowed as graciously as if he had been a sovereign dismissing a subject.

I hesitated to adopt that conclusion. There is no denying it, the deaf man had found his own strange and

tortuous way to my interest, in spite of myself. I might even have been in some danger of allowing him to

make a friend of me, if I had not been restrained by the fears for Cristel which his language and his manner

amply justified, to my mind. Although I was far from foreseeing the catastrophe that really did happen, I felt

that I had returned to my own country at a critical time in the life of the miller's daughter. My friendly

interference might be of serious importance to Cristel's peace of mindperhaps even to her personal safety

Eager to discover what the contents of the portfolio might tell me, I hurried back to Trimley Deen. My

stepmother had not yet returned from the dinnerparty. As one of the results of my ten years' banishment

from home, I was obliged to ask the servant to show me the way to my own room, in my own house! The

windows looked out on a view of Fordwitch Wood. As I opened the leaves which were to reveal to me the

secret soul of the man whom I had so strangely met, the fading moonlight vanished, and the distant trees were

The confession was entitled, "Memoirs of a Miserable Man." It began abruptly in these words:

"I acknowledge, at the outset, that misfortune has had an effect on me which frail humanity is for the most

part anxious to conceal. Under the influence of suffering, I have become of enormous importance to myself.

In this frame of mind, I naturally enjoy painting my own portrait in words. Let me add that they must be

written words because it is a painful effort to me (since I lost my hearing) to speak to anyone continuously,

"I have also to confess that my brains are not so completely under my own command as I could wish.

"For instance, I possess considerable skill (for an amateur) as a painter in water colors. But I can only

produce a work of art, when irresistible impulse urges me to express my thoughts in form and color. The

same obstacle to regular exertion stands in my way, if I am using my pen. I can only write when the fit takes

mesometimes at night when I ought to be asleep; sometimes at meals when I ought to be handling my

knife and fork; sometimes out of doors when I meet with inquisitive strangers who stare at me. As for paper,

the first stray morsel of anything that I can write upon will do, provided I snatch it up in time to catch my

"My method being now explained, I proceed to the deliberate act of selfbetrayal which I contemplate in

"I divide my life into two Epochsrespectively entitled: Before my Deafness, and After my Deafness. Or,

suppose I define the melancholy change in my fortunes more sharply still, by contrasting with each other my

days of prosperity and my days of disaster? Of these alternatives, I hardly know which to choose. It doesn't

"In any case, then, I have to record that I passed a happy childhoodthanks to my good mother. Her

generous nature had known adversity, and had not been deteriorated by undeserved trials. Born of

slaveparents, she had not reached her eighteenth year, when she was sold by auction in the Southern States

of America. The person who bought her (she never would tell me who he was) freed her by a codicil, added

to his will on his deathbed. My father met with her, a few years afterwards, in American societyfell (as I

have heard) madly in love with herand married her in defiance of the wishes of his family. He was quite

right: no better wife and mother ever lived. The one vestige of good feeling that I still possess, lives in my

"Our head master was more nearly a perfect human being than any other man that I have ever met with. Even

the worsttempered boys among us ended in loving him. Under his encouragement, and especially to please

him, I won every prize that industry, intelligence, and good conduct could obtain; and I rose, at an unusually

early age, to be the head boy in the first class. When I was old enough to be removed to the University, and

when the dreadful day of parting arrived, I fainted under the agony of leaving the teacherno! the dear

friendwhom I devotedly loved. There must surely have been some good in me at that time. What has

"Under adverse circumstances, my sociable disposition, my delight in the society of young people of my own

age, might have exposed me to serious dangers in my new sphere of action. Happily for me, my father

consulted a wise friend, before he sent me to Cambridge. I was entered at one of the smaller colleges; and I

fell, at starting, among the right set of men. Good examples were all round me. We formed a little club of

steady students; our pleasures were innocent; we were too proud and too poor to get into debt. I look back on

my career at Cambridge, as I look back on my career at school, and wonder what has become of my better

"The profession which he had intended that I should follow was the Bar. I believed myself to be quite unfit

for the sort of training imperatively required by the Law; and my mother agreed with me. When I left the

University, my own choice of a profession pointed to the medical art, and to that particular branch of it called

surgery. After three years of unremitting study at one of the great London hospitals, I started in practice for

myself. Once more, my persistent luck was faithful to me at the outset of my new career.

"The winter of that year was remarkable for alternate extremes of frost and thaw. Accidents to passengers in

the streets were numerous; and one of them happened close to my own door. A gentleman slipped on the icy

pavement, and broke his leg. On sending news of the accident to his house, I found that my chancepatient

"My lord was so well satisfied with my services that he refused to be attended by any of my elders and betters

in the profession. Little did I think at the time, that I had received the last of the favours which Fortune was to

bestow on me. I enjoyed the confidence and goodwill of a man possessing boundless social influence; and I

was received most kindly by the ladies of his family. In one word, at the time when my professional prospects

justified the brightest hopes that I could form, sudden death deprived me of the dearest and truest of all

friendsI suffered the one dreadful loss which it is impossible to replace, the loss of my mother. We had

parted at night when she was, to all appearance, in the enjoyment of her customary health. The next morning,

"Keen observers, who read these lines, will remark that I have said nothing about the male members of my

family, and that I have even passed over my father with the briefest possible allusion to his death.

"This curious reticence on my part, is simply attributable to pure ignorance. Until affliction lay heavy on me,

my father, my uncle, and my grandfather were hardly better known to me, in their true characters, than if they

had been strangers passing in the street. How I contrived to become more intimately acquainted with my

"In the absence of any instructions to guide me, after my mother's death, I was left to use my own discretion

in examining the papers which she had left behind her. Reading her letters carefully, before I decided what to

keep and what to destroy, I discovered a packet, protected by an unbroken seal, and bearing an inscription,

'For fear of accidents, my dear, we will mention no names in this place. The sight of my handwriting will

remind you of my devotion to your interests in the past, and will satisfy you that I am to be trusted in the

service that I now offer to my good sisterfriend. In the fewest words, let me tell you that I have heard of the

circumstances under which your marriage has taken place. Your origin has unfortunately become known to

the members of your husband's family; their pride has been deeply wounded; and the women especially

regard you with feelings of malignant hatred. I have good reason for fearing that they may try to excuse their

inhuman way of speaking of you, by making public the calamity of your slavebirth. What deplorable

influence might be exercised on your husband's mind, by such an exposure as this, I will not stop to inquire.

It will be more to the purpose to say that I am able to offer you a sure means of protecting yourselfthrough

information which I have unexpectedly obtained, and the source of which I am obliged to keep secret. If you

are ever threatened by your enemies, open the packet which I have now sealed up, and you will command the

silence of the bitterest man or woman who longs to injure you. I may add that absolute proof accompanies

every assertion which my packet contains. Keep it carefully, as long as you liveand God grant you may

"I cannot even guess who my mother's devoted friend may have been. Neither can I doubt that she would

"After hesitating a littleI hardly know whyI summoned my resolution, and broke the seal. Of the horror

with which I read the contents of the packet I shall say nothing. Who ever yet sympathized with the sorrows

and sufferings of strangers? Let me merely announce that I knew my ancestors at last, and that I am now able

"My grandfather was tried on a charge of committing willful murderwas found guilty on the clearest

"His two sons abandoned the family name, and left the family residence. They were, nevertheless, not

"My uncle (a captain in the Army) was discovered at the hazard table, playing with loaded dice. Before this

abject scoundrel could be turned out of his regiment, he was killed in a duel by one of his brother officers

"My father, when he was little more than a lad, deserted a poor girl who had trusted him under a promise of

marriage. Friendless and hopeless, she drowned herself and her child. His was the most infamous in the list of

the family crimesand he escaped, without answering to a court of law or a court of honor for what he had

"Some of us come of one breed, and some of another. There is the breed from which I drew the breath of life.

"I looked back over the past years of my existence, from the time of my earliest recollections to the miserable

"What wholesome influences had preserved me, so far, from moral contamination by the vile blood that ran

in my veins? There were two answers to that question which, in some degree, quieted my mind. In the first

place, resembling my good mother physically, I might hope to have resembled her morally. In the second

place, the happy accidents of my career had preserved me from temptation, at more than one critical period of

my life. On the other hand, in the ordinary course of nature, not one half of that life had yet elapsed. What

trials might the future have in store for me? and what protection against them would the better part of my

"While I was still troubled by these doubts, the measure of my disasters was filled by an attack of illness

which threatened me with death. My medical advisers succeeded in saving my lifeand left me to pay the

"At an early period of my convalescence, I noticed one day, with languid surprise, that the voices of the

doctors, when they asked me how I had slept and if I felt better, sounded singularly dull and distant. A few

hours later, I observed that they stooped close over me when they had something important to say. On the

same evening, my day nurse and my night nurse happened to be in the room together. To my surprise, they

had become so wonderfully quiet in their movements, that they opened the door or stirred the fire, without

making the slightest noise. I intended to ask them what it meant; I had even begun to put the question, when I

was startled by another discovery relating this time to myself. I was certain that I had spokenand yet, I had

not heard myself speak! As well as my weakness would let me, I called to the nurses in my loudest tones.

"Has anything happened to my voice?" I asked. The two women consulted together, looking at me with pity

in their eyes. One of them took the responsibility on herself. She put her lips close to my ear; the horrid

words struck me with a sense of physical pain: 'Your illness has left you in a sad state, sir. You are deaf.'

"As soon as I was able to leave my bed, wellmeaning people, in and out of the medical profession,

"One famous aural surgeon after another came to me, and quoted his experience of cases, in which the

disease that had struck me down had affected the sense of hearing in other unhappy persons: they had

submitted to surgical treatment, generally with cheering results. I submitted in my turn. All that skill could do

for me was done, and without effect. My deafness steadily increased; my case was pronounced to be

"Judicious friends, who had been waiting for their opportunity, undertook the moral management of me next.

"I was advised to cultivate cheerfulness, to go into society, to encourage kind people who tried to make me

hear what was going on, to be on my guard against morbid depression, to check myself when the sense of my

own horrible isolation drove me away to my room, and, last but by no means least, to beware of letting my

"I did my best, honestly did my best, to profit by the suggestions that were offered to menot because I

believed in the wisdom of my friends, but because I dreaded the effect of selfimposed solitude on my

nature. Since the fatal day when I had opened the sealed packet, I was on my guard against the inherited evil

lying dormant, for all I knew to the contrary, in my father's son. Impelled by that horrid dread, I suffered my

"What the selfinflicted torture of the deaf is, none but the deaf can understand.

"When benevolent persons did their best to communicate to me what was clever or amusing, while

conversation was going on in my presence, I was secretly angry with them for making my infirmity

conspicuous, and directing the general attention to me. When other friends saw in my face that I was not

grateful to them, and gave up the attempt to help me, I suspected them of talking of me contemptuously, and

"Even when I deserved encouragement by honestly trying to atone for my bad behavior, I committed

mistakes (arising out of my helpless position) which prejudiced people against me. Sometimes, I asked

questions which appeared to be so trivial, to ladies and gentlemen happy in the possession of a sense of

hearing, that they evidently thought me imbecile as well as deaf. Sometimes, seeing the company enjoying an

interesting story or a good joke, I ignorantly appealed to the most incompetent person present to tell me what

had been saidwith this result, that he lost the thread of the story or missed the point of the joke, and blamed

"These mortifications, and many more, I suffered patiently until, little by little, my last reserves of endurance

felt the cruel strain on them, and failed me. My friends detected a change in my manner which alarmed them.

"So far as any curative influence over the state of my mind was concerned, the experiment proved to be a

"I had secretly arrived at the conclusion that my deafness was increasing, and that my friends knew it and

were concealing it from me. Determined to put my suspicions to the test, I took long solitary walks in the

neighborhood of my country home, and tried to hear the new sounds about me. I was deaf to

"I am unable to measure the interval that elapsed: my memory fails me. I only know that the time came, when

I could see the skylark in the heavens, but could no longer hear its joyous notes. In a few weeks more the

nightingale, and even the loud thrush, became silent birds to my doomed ears. My last effort to resist my own

deafness was made at my bedroom window. For some time I still heard, faintly and more faintly, the shrill

twittering just above me, under the eaves of the house. When this last poor enjoyment came to an endwhen

I listened eagerly, desperately, and heard nothing (think of it, nothing!)I gave up the struggle. Persuasions,

arguments, entreaties were entirely without effect on me. Reckless what came of it, I retired to the one fit

"With some difficulty, I discovered the lonely habitation of which was in search.

"No language can describe the heavenly composure of mind that came to me, when I first found myself

alone; living the deathinlife of deafness, apart from creaturesno longer my fellowcreatureswho

could hear: apart also from those privileged victims of hysterical impulse, who wrote me loveletters, and

offered to console the 'poor beautiful deaf man' by marrying him. Through the distorting medium of such

sufferings as I have described, women and meneven young womenwere repellent to me alike.

Ungratefully impatient of the admiration excited by my personal advantages, savagely irritated by tender

looks and flattering compliments, I only consented take lodgings, on condition that there should be no young

women living under the same roof with me. If this confession of morbid feeling looks like vanity, I can only

say that appearances lie. I write in sober sadness; determined to present my character, with photographic

"What were my habits in solitude? How did I get through the weary and wakeful hours of the day?

"Living by myself, I became (as I have already acknowledged) important to myselfand, as a necessary

consequence, I enjoyed registering my own daily doings. Let passages copied from my journal reveal how I

"My landlord and landlady are two hideous old people. They look as if they disliked me, on the rare

occasions when we meet. So much the better; they don't remind me of my deafness by trying to talk, and they

keep as much as possible out of my way. This morning, after breakfast, I altered the arrangement of my

booksand then I made my fourth attempt, in the last ten days, to read some of my favorite authors. No: my

taste has apparently changed since the time when I could hear. I closed one volume after another; caring

"Reckless and savagewith a burning head and a cold heartI went out to look about me.

"After two hours of walking and thinking, I found that I had wandered to our county town. The rain began to

fall heavily just as I happened to be passing a bookseller's shop. After some hesitationfor I hate exposing

"Among them was a collection of celebrated Trials. I thought of my grandfather; consulted the index; and,

finding his name there, bought the work. The shopman (as I could guess from his actions and looks) proposed

sending the parcel to me. I insisted on taking it away. The sky had cleared; and I was eager to read the details

"TuesdaySat up late last night, reading my new book. My favorite poets, novelists, and historians have

failed to interest me. I devoured the Trials with breathless delight; beginning of course with the murder in

which I felt a family interest. Prepared to find my grandfather a ruffian, I confess I was surprised by the

discovery that he was also a fool. The officers of justice had no merit in tracing the crime to him; his own

stupidity delivered him into their hands. I read the evidence twice over, and put myself in his position, and

"In the Preface to the Trials I found an allusion, in terms of praise, to a work of the same kind, published in

"Wednesday.Is there some mysterious influence, in the silent solitude of my life, that is hardening my

nature? Is there something unnatural in the existence of a man who never hears a sound? Is there a moral

"These questions have been suggested to me by an incident that happened this morning.

"Looking out of window, I saw a brutal carter, on the road before the house, beating an overloaded horse. A

year since I should have interfered to protect the horse, without a moment's hesitation. If the wretch had been

insolent, I should have seized his whip, and applied the heavy handle of it to his own shoulders. In past days,

I have been more than once fined by a magistrate (privately in sympathy with my offence) for assaults

committed by me in the interests of helpless animals. What did I feel now? Nothing but a selfish sense of

uneasiness, at having been accidentally witness of an act which disturbed my composure. I turned away,

"This was not an agreeable train of thought to follow. What could I do? I was answered by the impulse which

"I sharpened my pencils, and opened my box of colors, and determined to produce a work of art. To my

astonishment, the brutal figure of the carter forced its way into my memory again and again. It (without in the

least knowing why) as if the one chance of getting rid of this curious incubus, was to put the persistent image

of the man on paper. It was done mechanically, and yet done so well, that I was encouraged to add to the

picture. I put in next the poor beaten horse (another good likeness!); and then I introduced a lifelike portrait

of myself, giving the man the sound thrashing that he had deserved. Strange to say, this representation of

what I ought to have done, relieved my mind as if I had actually done it. I looked at the preeminent figure of

myself, and felt good, and turned to my Trials, and read them over again, and liked them better than ever.

"Thursday.The bookseller has found a secondhand copy of the French Trials, and has sent them to me (as

"I more than approveI admire; and I more than admireI imitate. These criminal stories are told with a

dramatic power, which has impelled me to try if I can rival the clever French narrative. I found a promising

subject by putting myself in my grandfather's place, and tracing the means by which it had occurred to me

"I cannot remember having read any novel with a tenth part of the interest that absorbed me, in constructing

my imaginary train of circumstances. So completely did the reality of the narrative impress itself on my

mind, that I felt as if the murder that I was relating had been a crime committed by myself. It was my own

ingenuity that hid the dead body, and removed the traces of bloodand my own selfcontrol that presented

me as an innocent person, when the victim was missing, and I was asked (among other respectable people) to

"My inexhaustible imagination invents plots and conspiracies of which I am the happy hero. I set traps which

invariably catch my enemies. I place myself in positions which are entirely new to me. Yesterday, for

instance, I invented a method of spiriting away a young person, whose disappearance was of considerable

importance under the circumstances, and succeeded in completely bewildering her father, her friends, and the

police: not a trace of her could they find. If I ever have occasion to do, in reality, what I only suppose myself

to do in these exercises of ingenuity, what a dangerous man I may yet prove to be!

"This morning, I rose, planning to amuse myself with a new narrative, when the ideal world in which I am

now living, became a world annihilated by collision with the sordid interests of real life.

"In plainer words, I received a written message from my landlord which has annoyed meand not without

good cause. This tiresome person finds himself unexpectedly obliged to give up possession of his house. The

circumstances are not worth relating. The result is importantI am compelled to find new lodgings. Where

"I left it to chance. That is to say, I looked at the railway timetable, and took a ticket for the first place, of

which the name happened to catch my eye. Arrived at my destination, I found myself in a dirty

"After a little reflection, I turned my back on the town, and followed the course of the river, in search of

shelter and solitude on one or the other of its banks. An hour of walking brought me to an oddlooking

cottage, half old and half new, attached to a watermill. A bill in one of the windows announced that rooms

were to be let; and a look round revealed a thick wood on my left hand, and a wilderness of sand and heath on

"I knocked at the door, and was admitted by a little lean slylooking old man. He showed me the

roomsone for myself, and one for my servant. Wretched as they were, the loneliness of the situation

recommended them to me. I made no objections; and I consented to pay the rent that was asked. The one

thing that remained to be done, in the interests of my tranquillity, was to ascertain if any other persons lived

the cottage besides my new landlord. He wrote his answer to the question: 'Nobody but my daughter.' With

serious misgivings, I inquired if his daughter was young. He wrote two fatal figures: '18'.

"Here was a discovery which disarranged all my plans, just as I had formed them! The prospect of having a

girl in the house, at the age associated with my late disagreeable experience of the sensitive sex, was more

than my irritable temper could endure. I saw the old man going to the window to take down the bill. Turning

in a rage to stop him, I was suddenly brought to a standstill by the appearance of a person who had just

"Was this the formidable obstacle to my tranquillity, which had prevented me from taking the rooms that I

had chosen? Yes! I knew the miller's daughter intuitively. Delirium possessed me; my eyes devoured her; my

heart beat as if it would burst out of my bosom. The old man approached me; he nodded, and grinned, and

pointed to her. Did he claim his parental interest in her? Did he mean that she belonged to him? No! she

"I don't know what it was in the girl that took me by storm. Nothing in her look or her manner expressed the

slightest interest in me. That famous "beauty" of mine which had worked such ravages in the hearts of other

young women, seemed not even to attract her notice. When her father put his hand to his ear, and told her (as

I guessed) that I was deaf, there was no pity in her splendid brown eyes; they expressed a momentary

curiosity, and nothing more. Possibly she had a hard heart? or perhaps she took a dislike to me, at first sight?

It made no difference to my mind, either way. Was she the most beautiful creature I had ever seen? Not even

that excuse was to be made for me. I have met with women of her dark complexion who were, beyond

dispute, her superiors in beauty, and have looked at them with indifference. Add to this, that I am one of the

men whom women offend if they are not perfectly welldressed. The miller's daughter was badly dressed;

her magnificent figure was profaned by the wretchedlymade gown that she wore. I forgave the profanation.

In spite of the protest of my own better taste, I resigned myself to her gown. Is it possible adequately to

describe such infatuation as this? Quite possible! I have only to acknowledge that I took the rooms at the

With that serious question the last of the leaves entrusted to me by the Lodger at the Mill came to an end.

I betray no confidence in presenting this copy of his confession. Time has passed since I first read it, and

changes have occurred in the interval, which leave me free to exercise my own discretion, and to let the

If I am asked what impression of the writer those extraordinary pages produced on me, I feel at a loss how to

Not one impression, but many impressions, troubled and confused my mind. Certain passages in the

confession inclined me to believe that the writer was mad. But I altered my opinion at the next leaf, and set

him down as a man with a bitter humor, disposed to make merry over his own bad qualities. At one time, his

tone in writing of his early life, and his allusions to his mother, won my sympathy and respect. At another

time, the picture of himself in his later years, and the defiant manner in which he presented it, almost made

me regret that he had not died of the illness which had struck him deaf. In this state of uncertainty I may

claim the merit of having arrived, so far as my own future conduct was concerned, at one positive conclusion.

As strangers he and I had first met. As strangers I was determined we should remain.

Having made up my mind, so far, the next thing to do (with the clock on the mantelpiece striking midnight)

I slept badly. The events that had happened, since my arrival in England, had excited me I suppose. Now and

then, in the wakeful hours of the night, I thought of Cristel with some anxiety. Taking the Loger's

exaggerated language for what it was really worth, the poor girl (as I was still inclined to fear) might have

Mrs. Roylakein an exquisite morning dress; with her smile in perfect orderinformed me that she was

dying with curiosity. She had heard, from the servants, that I had not returned to the house until past ten

o'clock on the previous night; and she was absolutely bewildered by the discovery. What could her dear

"For some part of the time," I answered, "I was catching moths in Fordwitch Wood."

"What an extraordinary occupation for a young man! Well? And what did you do after that?"

"I walked on through the wood, and renewed my old associations with the river and the mill."

Mrs. Roylake's fascinating smile disappeared when I mentioned the mill. She suddenly became a cold

"I can't congratulate you on the first visit you have paid in our neighborhood," she said. "Of course that bold

I replied that I had met with the "bold girl" purely by accident, on her side as well as on mine; and then I

started a new topic. "Was it a pleasant dinnerparty last night?" I askedas if the subject really interested

me. I had not been quite four and twenty hours in England yet, and I was becoming a humbug already.

My stepmother was her charming self again the moment my question had passed my lips. Societyprovided

it was not society at the millwas always attractive as a topic of conversation. "Your absence was the only

drawback," she answered. "I have asked the two ladies (my lord has an engagement) to dine here today,

without ceremony. They are most anxious to meet you. My dear Gerard! you look surprised. Surely you

Mrs. Roylake was shocked. "At any rate," she resumed, "you have heard of their father, Lord Uppercliff?"

I made another shameful confession. Either I had forgotten Lord Uppercliff, during my long absence abroad,

Mrs. Roylake was disgusted. "And this is a foreign education!" she exclaimed. "Thank Heaven, you have

returned to your own country! We will drive out after luncheon, and pay a round of visits." When this

prospect was placed before me, I remembered having read in books of sensitive persons receiving

impressions which made their blood run cold; I now found myself one of those persons, for the first time in

my life. "In the meanwhile," Mrs. Roylake continued, "I must tell youexcuse me for laughing; it seems so

very absurd that you should not know who Lord Uppercliff's daughters areI must tell you that Lady Rachel

is the eldest. She is married to the Honorable Captain Millbay, of the Navy, now away in his ship. A person

of extraordinary strength of mind (I don't mean the Captain; I mean Lady Rachel); I admire her intellect, but

her political and social opinions I must always view with regret. Her younger sister, Lady Lenanot

married, Gerard; remember that!is simply the most charming girl in England. If you don't fall in love with

her, you will be the only young man in the county who has resisted Lady Lena. Poor Sir Georgeshe

refused him last week; you really must have heard of Sir George; our member of parliament; conservative of

course; quite brokenhearted about Lady Lena; gone away to America to shoot bears. You seem to be

restless. What are you fidgeting about? Ah, I know! You want to smoke after breakfast. Well, I won't be in

your way. Go out on the terrace; your poor father always took his cigar on the terrace. They say smoking

leads to meditation; I leave you to meditate on Lady Lena. Don't forgetluncheon at one o'clock, and the

She smiled, and kissed her hand, and fluttered out of the room. Charming; perfectly charming. And yet I was

I lit my cigar, but not on the terrace. Leaving the house, I took the way once more that led to Fordwitch

Wood. What would Mrs. Roylake have said, if she had discovered that I was going back to the mill? There

was no other alternative. The portfolio was a trust confided to me; the sooner I returned it to the writer of the

confessionthe sooner I told him plainly the conclusion at which I had arrivedthe more at ease my mind

The sluggish river looked muddier than ever, the new cottage looked uglier than ever, exposed to the

searching ordeal of sunlight. I knocked at the door on the ancient side of the building.

Cristel's fathershall I confess I had hoped that it might be Cristel herself?let me in. In bygone days, I

dimly remembered him as old and small and withered. Advancing years had wasted him away, in the interval,

until his white miller's clothes hung about him in empty folds. His fleshless face would have looked like the

face of a mummy, but for the restless brightness of his little watchful black eyes. He stared at me in

"Are you the young master, sir? Ah, yes, yes; I thought so. My girl Cristy said she saw the young master last

night. Thank you kindly, sir; I'm pretty well, considering how I've fallen away in my flesh. I have got a fine

appetite, but somehow or other, my meals don't show on me. You will excuse my receiving you in the

kitchen, sir; it's the best room we have. Did Cristy tell you how badly we are off here for repairs? You being

our landlord, we look to you to help us. We are falling to pieces, as it were, on this old side of the house.

He proceeded to reckon up the repairs, counting with his fleshless thumb on his skinny fingers, when he was

interrupted by a curious succession of sounds which began with whining, and ended with scratching at the

In a minute after, the door was opened from without. A brown dog, of the companionable retriever breed, ran

in and fawned upon old Toller. Cristel followed (from the kitchen garden), with a basket of vegetables on her

arm. Unlike the river and the cottage, she gained by being revealed in the brilliant sunlight. I now saw, in

their full beauty, the luster of her brown eyes, the warm rosiness of her dark complexion, the delightful

vivacity of expression which was the crowning charm of her face. She paused confusedly in the doorway, and

"Mr. Gerard," she protested, "you are treating me as if I was a young lady. What would they say at the great

My answer would no doubt have assumed the form of a foolish compliment, if her father had not spared her

that infliction. He returned to the allimportant question, the question of repairs.

"You see, sir, it's no use speaking to the bailiff. Saving your presence, he's a miser with his master's money.

He says, 'All right,' and he does nothing. There's first, as I told you just now, the truly dreadful state of the

I tried to stop him by promising to speak to the bailiff myself. On hearing this good news, Mr. Toller's

gratitude became ungovernable: he was more eager than ever, and more eloquent than ever, in returning to

"And then, sir, there's the oven. They do call bread the staff of life. It's a burnt staff at one time, and a

clammy staff at another, in our domestic experience. Satisfy yourself, sir; do please cross the kitchen and

His daughter interfered, and stopped him at the critical moment when he was actually offering his arm to

conduct me in state across the kitchen. Cristel had just put her pretty brown hand over his mouth, and said,

"Oh, father, do pray be quiet!" when we were all three disturbed by another interruption.

A second door communicating, as I concluded from its position, with the new cottage, was suddenly opened.

In the instant before the person behind it appeared, the dog looked that waystarted up. frightenedand

took refuge under the table. At the next moment, the deaf Lodger walked into the room. It was he beyond all

What I had read of his writing disposed me, now that I saw the man by daylight, to find something devilish in

the expression of his face. No! strong as it was, my prejudice failed to make any discoveries that presented

him at a disadvantage. His personal attractions triumphed in the clear searching light. I now perceived that his

eyes were of that deeply dark blue, which is commonly and falsely described as resembling the color of the

violet. To my thinking, they were so entirely beautiful that they had no right to be in a man's face. I might

have felt the same objection to the pale delicacy of his complexion, to the soft profusion of his

reddishbrown hair, to his finely shaped sensitive lips, but for two marked peculiarities in him which would

have shown me to be wrongthat is to say: the expression of power about his head, and the signs of

On entering the room, the first person, and the only person, who attracted his attention was Cristel.

He bowed, smiled, possessed himself abruptly of her hand, and kissed it. She tried to withdraw it from his

grasp, and met with an obstinate resistance. His gallantry addressed her in sweet words; and his voice

destroyed their charm by the dreary monotony of the tone in which he spoke. "On this lovely day, Cristel,

Nature pleads for me. Your heart feels the sunshine and softens towards the poor deaf man who worships

you. Ah, my dear, it's useless to say No. My affliction is my happiness, when you say cruel things to me. I

live in my fool's paradise; I don't hear you." He tried to draw her nearer to him. "Come, my angel; let me kiss

She made a second attempt to release herself; and this time, she wrenched her hand out of his grasp with a

That fiercest anger which turns the face pale, was the anger that had possession of Cristel as she took refuge

with her father. "You asked me to bear with that man," she said, "because he paid you a good rent. I tell you

this, father; my patience is coming to an end. Either he must go, or I must go. Make up your mind to choose

Old Toller astonished me. He seemed to have caught the infection of his daughter's anger. Placed between

Cristel and his money, he really acted as if he preferred Cristel. He hobbled up to his lodger, and shook his

infirm fists, and screamed at the highest pitch of his old cracked voice: "Let her be, or I won't have you here

The sensitive nerves of the deaf man shrank as those shrill tones pierced them. "If you want to speak to me,

write it!" he said, with rage and suffering in every line of his face. He tore from his pocket his little book,

filled with blank leaves, and threw it at Toller's head. "Write," he repeated. "If you murder me with your

Cristel picked up the book. She was gratefully sensible of her father's interference. "He shall know what you

She took the pencil from its sheath in the leather binding of the book. Controlling himself, the lover whom

"Have you forgiven me?" he asked. "Have you been speaking kindly of me? I think I see it in your face.

There are some deaf people who can tell what is said by looking at the speaker's lips. I am too stupid, or too

impatient, or too wicked to be able to do that. Write it for me, dear, and make me happy for the day."

Cristel was not attending to him, she was speaking to me. "I hope, sir, you don't think that father and I are to

blame for what has happened this morning," she said. He looked where she was lookingand discovered, for

He had alluded to his wickedness a moment since. When his face turned my way, I thought it bore witness to

"Why didn't you come to my side of the house?" he said to me. "What am I to understand, sir, by seeing you

Cristel dropped his book on the table, and hurried to me in breathless surprise. "He speaks as if he knew

He picked up his book from the table, and took his pencil out of Cristel's hand, while we were speaking. "I

want my answer," he said, handing me the book and the pencil. I gave him his answer.

I replied by a sign in the affirmative. He inquired next if I had brought his portfolio with me. I put it at once

In some way unknown to me, I had apparently roused his suspicions. He opened the portfolio, and counted

the loose leaves of writing in it carefully. While he was absorbed in this occupation, old Toller's eccentricity

assumed a new form. His little restless black eyes followed the movements of his lodger's fingers, as they

turned over leaf after leaf of the manuscript, with such eager curiosity and interest that I looked at him in

surprise. Finding that he had attracted my notice, he showed no signs of embarrassmenthe seized the

Confronted by this cool inquiry, I informed Mr. Toller that the demands of curiosity had their limits, and that

he had reached them. On this ground, I declined to answer any more questions. Mr. Toller went on with his

"Do you notice, sir, that he seems to set a deal of store by his writings? Perhaps you can say what the value of

He tried againI declare it positively, he tried again. "You'll excuse me, sir? I've never seen his portfolio

Cristel joined us, amazed at his pertinacity. "Why are you so anxious, father, to know about that portfolio?"

Her father seemed to have reasons of his own for following my example and declining to answer questions.

More polite, however, than I had been, he left his resolution to be inferred. His daughter was answered by a

few general remarks, setting forth the advantage to the landlord of having a lodger who had lost one of

"You see there's something convenient, my dear, in the circumstance of that nicelooking gentleman over

there being deaf. We can talk about him before his face, just as comfortably as if it was behind his back. Isn't

that so, Mr. Gerard? Don't you see it yourself, Cristy? For instance, I say it without fear in his presence: 'tis

the act of a fool to be fumbling over writings, when there's nothing in them that's not well known to himself

alreadyunless indeed they are worth money, which I don't doubt is no secret to you, Mr. Gerard? Eh? I beg

your pardon, sir, did you speak? No? I beg your pardon again. Yes, yes, Cristy, I'm noticing him; he's done

with his writings. Suppose I offer to put them away for him? You can see in his face he finds the tale of them

He was going to establish a claim on my gratitude, by relieving me of Giles Toller.

"I have something to say to Mr. Roylake," he announced, with a haughty look at his landlord. "Mind! I don't

forget your screaming at me just now, and I intend to know what you meant by it. That will do. Get out of the

The old fellow received his dismissal with a low bow, and left the kitchen with a look at the Lodger which

revealed (unless I was entirely mistaken) a sly sense of triumph. What did it mean?

The deaf man addressed me with a cold and distant manner. "We must understand each other," he said. "Will

you follow me to my side of the cottage?" I shook my head. "Very well," he resumed; "we will have it out,

here. When I trusted you with my confession last night, I left you to decide (after reading it) whether you

would make an enemy of me or not. You remember that?" I nodded my head. "Then I now ask you, Mr.

Some internal struggle produced a change in his facevisible for one moment, hidden from me in a moment

more. "I think you will regret the decision at which you have arrived." He said that, and saluted me with his

grandly gracious bow. As he turned away, he perceived Cristel at the other end of the room, and eagerly

"The only happy moments I have are my moments passed in your presence," he said. "I shall trouble you no

more for today. Give me a little comfort to take back with me to my solitude. I didn't notice that there were

other persons present when I asked leave to kiss you. May I hope that you forgive me?"

He held out his hand; it was not taken. He waited a little, in the vain hope that she would relent: she turned

A spasm of pain distorted his handsome face. He opened the door that led to his side of the

cottagepausedand looked back at Cristel. She took no notice of him. As he moved again to the door and

left us, the hysterical passion in him forced its way outwardhe burst into tears.

The dog sprang up from his refuge under the table, and shook himself joyfully. Cristel breathed again freely,

and joined me at my end of the room. Shall I make another acknowledgment of weakness? I began to fear

that we might all of us (even including the dog!) have been a little hard on the poor deaf wretch who had

gone away in such bitter distress. I communicated this view of the matter to Cristel. She failed to see it as I

The dog laid his head on her lap, asking to be caressed. She patted him while she answered me.

"I agree with this old friend, Mr. Gerard. We were both of us frightened, on the very first day, when the

person you are pitying came to lodge with us. I have got to hate him, since that timeperhaps to despise

him. But the dog has never changed; he feels and knows there is something dreadful in that man. One of these

"The truth is, sir, I have been a little startled by what I saw in our lodger's face, when he asked if you were his

enemy or his friend. I know he is thought to be handsomebut, Mr. Gerard, those beautiful eyes of his

sometimes tell tales; and I have seen his pretty complexion change to a color that turned him into an ugly

"He is very vain," she said, "and you may have wounded his vanity by treating him like a stranger, after he

had given you his writings to read, and invited you to his room. But I thought I saw something much worse

than mortification in his face. Shall I be taking a liberty, if I ask how it was you got acquainted with him last

She was evidently in earnest. I saw that I must answer her without reserve; and I was a little afraid of being

myself open to a suspicion of vanity, if I mentioned the distrust which I had innocently excited in the mind of

my new acquaintance. In this state of embarrassment I took a young man's way out of the difficulty, and

"I became acquainted with your deaf Lodger, Cristel, under ridiculous circumstances. He saw us talking last

I had expected to see her blush. To my surprise she turned pale, and vehemently remonstrated.

"Don't laugh, sir! There's nothing to be amused at in what you have just told me. You didn't go into his room

I described his successful appeal to my compassionnot very willingly, for it made me look (as I thought)

like a weak person. Little by little, she extracted from me the rest: how he objected to find a young man,

especially in my social position, talking to Cristel; how he insisted on my respecting his claims, and engaging

not to see her again; how, when I refused to do this, he gave me his confession to read, so that I might find

out what a formidable man I was setting at defiance; how I had not been in the least alarmed, and had treated

"I tell you again, sir, this is no laughing matter. You have roused his jealousy. You had better have roused the

fury of a wild beast. Knowing what you know of him, why did you stay here, when he came in? And, oh, why

did I humiliate him in your presence? Leave us, Mr. Gerardpray, pray leave us, and don't come near this

Did she think I was to be so easily frightened as that? My sense of my own importance was up in arms at the

"My dear child," I said grandly, "do you really suppose I am afraid of that poor wretch? Am I to give up the

pleasure of seeing you, because a mad fellow is simple enough to think you will marry him? Absurd,

"Oh, sir, don't distress me by talking in that way! Do please remember who you are, and who I am. If I was

the miserable means of your coming to any harmI can't bear even to speak of it! Pray don't think me bold; I

don't know how to express myself. You ought never to have come here; you ought to go; you must go!"

Driven by strong impulse, she ran to the place in which I had left my hat, and brought it to me, and opened

the door with a look of entreaty which it was impossible to resist. It would have been an act of downright

cruelty to persist in opposing her. "I wouldn't distress you, Cristel, for the whole world," I saidand left her

to conclude that I had felt the influence of her entreaties in the right way. She tried to thank me; the tears rose

in her eyesshe signed to me to leave her, poor soul, as if she felt ashamed of herself. I was shocked; I was

grieved; I was more than ever secretly resolved to go back to her. When we said goodbyeI have been told

Having traversed the short distance between the cottage and the wood, I remembered that I had left my

Cristel was leaving the kitchen; I saw her at the door which communicated with the Lodger's side of the

cottage. Her back was turned towards me; astonishment held me silent. She opened the door, passed through

Going to that man, after she had repelled his advances, in my presence! Going to the enemy against whom

she had warned me, after I had first been persuaded to leave her! Angry thoughts theseand surely thoughts

unworthy of me? If it had been the case of another man I should have said he was jealous. Jealous of the

miller's daughterin my position? Absurd! contemptible! But I was still in such a vile temper that I

determined to let Cristel know she had been discovered. Taking one of my visiting cards, I wrote on it: "I

came back for my stick, and saw you go to him." After I had pinned this spiteful little message to the door, so

that she might see it when she returned, I suffered a disappointment. I was not half so well satisfied with

Leaving the cottage for the second time, I was met at the door by a fat man of solemn appearance dressed in

black, who respectfully touched his hat. My angry humor acknowledged the harmless stranger's salute by a

rude inquiry: "What the devil do you want?" Instead of resenting this uncivil language, he indirectly reproved

"My mistress desires me to tell you, sir, that luncheon is waiting." I was in the presence of a thoroughbred

English servantand I had failed to discover it until he spoke of his mistress! I had also, by keeping

luncheon waiting, treated an English institution with contempt. And, worse even than this, as a misfortune

which personally affected me, my stepmother evidently knew that I had paid another visit to the mill.

I hurried along the woodland path, followed by the fat domestic in black. Not used apparently to force his

legs into rapid motion, he articulated with the greatest difficulty in answering my next question: "How did

"Mrs. Roylake ordered inquiries to be made, sir. The head gardener" There his small reserves of breath

Returning to the house, and making polite apologies, I discovered one more among Mrs. Roylake's many

accomplishments. She possessed two smilesa sugary smile (with which I was already acquainted), and an

acid smile which she apparently reserved for special occasions. It made its appearance when I led her to the

"Where should I lunch, my dear lady?" I thought this would induce the sugary smile to show itself. I was

"Where?" Mrs. Roylake repeated. "With your friends at the mill of course. Very inhospitable not to offer you

"Curious!" Mrs. Roylake observed. "You not only don't get luncheon among your friends: you don't even get

information. To know a miller, and not to know the price of flour, is ignorance presented in one of its most

I was angry by this time. "You have exactly described her," I said. Mrs. Roylake began to get angry, on her

"Would you like to judge for yourself?" I asked. "I shall be happy, Mrs. Roylake, to take you to the mill."

My stepmother's knowledge of the world implied considerable acquaintancehow obtained I do not pretend

to knowwith the characters of men. Discovering that she was in danger of overstepping the limits of my

patience, she drew back with a skill which performed the retrograde movement without permitting it to betray

"I fancy your residence in Germany has rather blunted your native English sense of humor. You don't

suppose, I hope and trust, that I am so insensible to our relative positions as to think of interfering in your

choice of friends or associates. If you are not aware of it already, let me remind you that this house is now

yours; not mine. I live heregladly live here, my dear boyby your indulgence; fortified (I am sure) by

I stopped her there. She had got the better of me with a dexterity which I see now, but which I was not clever

enough to appreciate at time. In a burst of generosity, I entreated her to consider Trimley Deen as her house,

After this, need I say that the most amiable of women took me out in her carriage, and introduced me to some

If I could only remember all the new friends to whom I made my bow, as well as the conversation in which

we indulged, I might write a few pages here, interesting in a high degree to persons with wellbalanced

minds. Unhappily, so far as my own impressions were concerned, the best society proved to be always the

same society. Every house that we entered was in the same beautiful order; every mistress of the house was

dressed in the best taste; every master of the house had the same sensible remarks to make on conservative

prospects at the coming election; every young gentleman wanted to know how my game preserves had been

looked after in my absence; every young lady said: "How nice it must have been, Mr. Roylake, to find

yourself again at Trimley Deen." Has anybody ever suffered as I suffered, during that round of visits, under

the desire to yawn and the effort to suppress it? Is there any sympathetic soul who can understand me, when I

say that I would have given a hundred pounds for a gag, and for the privilege of using it to stop my

stepmother's pleasant chat in the carriage, following on our friends' pleasant chat in the drawingroom?

Finally, when we got home, and when Mrs. Roylake kindly promised me another round of visits, and more

charming people in the neighborhood to see, will any good Christian forgive me, if I own that I took

Now that I was no longer obliged to listen to polite strangers, my thoughts reverted to Cristel, and to the

Recovering its influence, in the interval that had passed, my better nature sharply reproached me. I had

presumed to blame Cristel, with nothing to justify me but my own perverted view of her motives. How did I

know that she had not opened that door, and gone to that side of the cottage, with a perfectly harmless object

in view? I was really anxious, if I could find the right way to do it, to make amends for an act of injustice of

which I felt ashamed. If I am asked why I was as eager to set myself right with a miller's daughter, as if she

had been a young lady in the higher ranks of life, I can only reply that no such view of our relative positions

as this ever occurred to me. A strange state of mind, no doubt. What was the right explanation of it?

The right explanation presented itself at a later time, when troubles had quickened my intellect, and when I

I had returned to England, to fill a prominent place in my own little world, without relations whom I loved,

without friends whose society I could enjoy. Hopeful, ardent, eager for the enjoyment of life, I had brought

with me to my own country the social habits and the free range of thought of a foreign University; and, as a

matter of course, I failed to feel any sympathy with the societynew to mein which my lot had been cast.

Beset by these disadvantages, I had met with a girl, possessed of remarkable personal attractions, and

associated with my earliest remembrances of my own happy life and of my mother's kindnessa girl, at

once simple and spirited; unspoilt by the world and the world's ways, and placed in a position of peril due to

the power of her own beauty, which added to the interest that she naturally inspired. Estimating these

circumstances at their true value, did a state of mind which rendered me insensible to the distinctions that

separate the classes in England, stand in any need of explanation? As I thoughtand think stillit explained

My stepmother and I parted on the garden terrace, which ran along the pleasant southern side of the house.

The habits that I had contracted, among my student friends in Germany, made tobacco and beer necessary

accompaniments to the process of thinking. I had nearly exhausted my cigar, my jug, and my thoughts, when

As they came nearer, I recognized in one of the men my fat domestic in black. He stopped the person who

"I don't know, sir. He says he has got a letter to give you, and he must put it in your own hands. I think

myself he's a beggar. He's excessively insolenthe insists on seeing you. Shall I tell him to go?"

The servant evidently expected me to say Yes. He was disappointed; my curiosity was roused; I said I would

As he approached me, the man certainly did not look like a beggar. Poor he might be, judging by his dress.

The upper part of him was clothed in an old shooting jacket of velveteen; his legs presented a pair of trousers,

once black, now turning brown with age. Both garments were too long for him, and both were kept

scrupulously clean. He was a short man, thickly and strongly made. Impenetrable composure appeared on his

ugly face. His eyes were sunk deep in his head; his nose had evidently been broken and not successfully

mended; his grey hair, when he took off his hat on addressing me, was cut short, and showed his low

forehead and his bull neck. An Englishman of the last generation would, as I have since been informed, have

set him down as a retired prizefighter. Thanks to my ignorance of the pugilistic glories of my native

"Have I the honor of speaking to Mr. Roylake?" he asked. His quiet steady manner prepossessed me in his

favour; it showed no servile reverence for the accident of birth, on the one hand, and no insolent assertion of

independence, on the other. When I had told him that my name was Roylake, he searched one of the large

pockets of his shooting jacket, produced a letter, and silently offered it to me.

Before I took the letterseeing that he was a stranger, and that he mentioned no name known to meI

He was apparently a man of few words. "My master," was the guarded answer that this odd servant returned.

The reply staggered me. Speaking as quietly and respectfully as ever, he said: "I can't tell you, sir."

I instantly took the letter from him, and looked at the address. For once in a way, I had jumped at a

conclusion and I had proved to be right. The handwriting on the letter, and the handwriting of the confession

The letter was a long one. After running my eye over the first sentences, I surprised myself by acting

discreetly. "You needn't wait," I said; "I will send a reply." The man of few words raised his shabby hat,

The letter was superscribed: "Private and Confidential." It was written in these words:

"Sir,You will do me grievous wrong if you suppose that I am trying to force myself on your acquaintance.

My object in writing is to prevent you (if I can) from misinterpreting my language and my conduct, on the

"I am conscious that you must have thought me rude and ungratefulperhaps even a little madwhen I

returned your kindness last night, in honoring me with a visit, by using language which has justified you in

"Fortunately for myself, I gave you my autobiography to read. After what you now know of me, I may hope

that your sense of justice will make some allowance for a man, tried (I had almost written, cursed) by such

"They feel the consolations of religion. Their sweet tempers find relief even under the loss of the most

precious of all the senses. They mix with society; submitting to their dreadful isolation, and preserving

unimpaired sympathy with their happier fellowcreatures who can hear. I am not one of those persons. With

"Let me not omit to ask your indulgence for my behavior, when we met at the cottage this morning.

"What unfavorable impression I may have produced on you, I dare not inquire. So little capable am I of

concealing the vile feelings which sometimes get the better of me, that Miss Cristel (observe that I mention

her with respect) appears to have felt positive alarm, on your account, when she looked at me.

"I may tell you, in confidence, that this charming person came to my side of the cottage, as soon as you had

taken your departure, to intercede with me in your favour. 'If your wicked mind is planning to do evil to Mr.

Roylake,' she wrote in my book, 'either you will promise me to give it up, or I will never allow you to see me

again; I will even leave home secretly, to be out of your way.' In that strong language she expressedhow

shall I refer to it?shall I say the sisterly interest that she felt in your welfare?"

I laid down the letter for a moment. If I had not already reproached myself for having misjudged

Cristeland if I had not, in that way, done her some little justice in my own better thoughtsI should never

have recovered my selfrespect after reading the deaf man's letter. The good girl! The dear good girl! Yes:

that was how I thought of her, under the windows of my stepmother's boudoirwhile Mrs. Roylake, for all I

knew to the contrary, might be looking down at me, and when Lady Lena, the noble and beautiful, was

"To return to myself. I gave Miss Cristel the promise on which she had insisted; and then, naturally enough, I

"She frankly admitted that she was interested in you. First: in grateful remembrance of old times, when you

and your mother had been always good to her. Secondly: because she had found you as kind and as friendly

as ever, now that you were a man and had become the greatest landowner in the county. There was the

"Did I believe her when I was meditating on our interview, alone in my room? Or did I suspect you of having

"No such unworthy suspicion as this was admitted to my mind. With all my heart, I believe her. And with

"If your knowledge of me has failed to convince you that there is any such thing as a better side to my nature,

you will no doubt conclude that this letter is a trick of mine to throw you off your guard; and you will

continue to distrust me as obstinately as ever. In that case, I will merely remind you that my letter is private

I wonder what another man, in my position, would have done when he had read this letter? Would he have

seen in it nothing to justify some respect and some kindly feeling towards the writer? Could he have

reconciled it to his conscience to leave the afflicted man who had trusted him without a word of reply?

For my part (do not forget what a young man I was in those days), I made up my mind to reply in the

After consulting my watch, I satisfied myself that I could go to the mill, and get back again, before the hour

fixed for our late dinnersupper we should have called it in Germany. For the second time that day, and

Crossing the glade, I encountered a stout young woman, filling a can with water from the spring. She

The reply informed me that I had taken another of my servants for a stranger. The stout nymph of the spring

was my kitchenmaid; and she was fetching the water which we drank at the house; "and there's no water, sir,

like yours for all the country round." Furnished with these stores of information, I went my way, and the

kitchenmaid went hers. She spoke, of course, of having seen her new master, on returning to the servants'

hall. In this manner, as I afterwards heard, the discovery of me at the spring, and my departure by the path

that led to the mill, reached Mrs. Roylake's earsthe medium of information being the lady's own maid. So

far, Fordwitch Wood seemed to be a place to avoid, in the interests of my domestic tranquillity.

Arriving at the cottage, I found the Lodger standing by the open window at which I had first seen him.

But on this occasion, his personal appearance had undergone a singular process of transformation. The lower

part of his face, from his nostrils to his chin, was hidden by a white handkerchief tied round it. He had

removed the stopper from a strangely shaped bottle, and was absorbed in watching some interesting condition

in a dusky liquid that it contained. To attract his attention by speaking was of course out of the question; I

My patience was not severely tried: he soon replaced the stopper in the bottle, and, looking up from it, saw

"Let me ask you to wait in the boathouse," he said; "I will come to you directly." He pointed round the

corner of the new cottage; indicating of course the side of it that was farthest from the old building.

Following his directions, I first passed the door that he used in leaving or returning to his room, and then

gained the bank of the river. On my right hand rose the mill building, with its big waterwheeland, above it,

a little higher up the stream, I recognized the boathouse; built out in the water on piles, and approached by a

No structure of this elaborate and expensive sort would have been set up by my father, for the miller's

convenience. The boathouse had been built, many years since, by a rich retired tradesman with a mania for

aquatic pursuits. Our ugly river had not answered his expectations, and our neighborhood had abstained from

returning his visits. When he left us, with his wherries and canoes and outriggers, the miller took possession

of the abandoned boathouse. "It's the sort of fixture that don't pay nohow," old Toller remarked. "Suppose

you remove itthere's a waste of money. Suppose you knock it to piecesis it worth a rich gentleman's

while to sell a cartload of firewood?" Neither of these alternatives having been adopted, and nobody wanting

an empty boathouse, the clumsy mill boat, hitherto tied to a stake, and exposed to the worst that the weather

could do to injure it, was now snugly sheltered under a roof, with empty lockers (once occupied by aquatic

I was looking out on the river, and thinking of all that had happened since my first meeting with Cristel by

moonlight, when the voice of the deaf man made itself discordantly heard, behind me.

"Let me apologize for receiving you here," he said; "and let me trouble you with one more of my confessions.

Like other unfortunate deaf people, I suffer from nervous irritability. Sometimes, we restlessly change our

places of abode. And sometimes, as in my case, we take refuge in variety of occupation. You remember the

"Well," he went on, "my literary inventions have ceased to interest me. I have latterly resumed the chemical

studies, associated with that happy time in my life when I was entering on the medical profession. Unluckily

for you, I have been trying an experiment today, which makes such an abominable smell in my room that I

dare not ask you to enter it. The fumes are not only disagreeable, but in some degree dangerous. You saw me

at the window, perhaps, with my nose and mouth protected before I opened the bottle?"

I repeated the affirmative sign. He produced his little book of blank leaves, and opened it ready for use.

"May I hope," he said, "that your visit is intended as a favorable reply to my letter?"

"Your letter has satisfied me that I was mistaken in treating you like a stranger. I have come here to express

my regret at having failed to do you justice. Pray be assured that I believe in your better nature, and that I

Never had I seen his beautiful eyes so brightly soft, so irresistibly tender, as they appeared now. He held out

his hand to me. It is one of my small merits to be (in the popular phrase) as good as my word. I took his hand;

In relating the events which form this narrative, I look back at the chain, as I add to it link by

linksometimes with surprise, sometimes with interest, and sometimes with the discovery that I have

omitted a circumstance which it is necessary to replace. But I search my memory in vain, while I dwell on the

lines that I have just written, for a recollection of some attendant event which might have warned me of the

peril towards which I was advancing blindfold. My remembrance presents us as standing together with

clasped hands; but nothing in the slightest degree ominous is associated with the picture. There was no

sinister chill communicated from his hand to mine; no shocking accident happened close by us in the river;

not even a passing cloud obscured the sunlight, shining in its gayest glory over our heads.

After having shaken hands, neither he nor I had apparently anything more to say. A little embarrassed, I

turned to the boathouse window, and looked out. Trifling as the action was, my companion noticed it.

I took the pencil again: "Old associations make even the ugly Loke interesting to me."

He sighed as he read those words. "I wish, Mr. Roylake, I could say the same. Your interesting river frightens

It was needless to ask for the pencil again. My puzzled face begged for an explanation.

"When you were in my room," he said, "you may have noticed a second window which looks out on The

Loke. I have got into a bad habit of sitting by that window on moonlight nights. I watch the flow of the

stream, and it seems to associate itself with the flow of my thoughts. Nothing remarkable, so farwhile I am

awake. But, later, when I get to sleep, dreams come to me. All of them, sir, without exception connect Cristel

with the river. Look at the stealthy current that makes no sound. In my last night's sleep, it made itself heard;

it was flowing in my ears with a watermusic of its own. No longer my deaf ears; I heard, in my dream, as

well as you can hear. Yes; the same watermusic, singing over and over again the same horrid song: "Fool,

fool, no Cristel for you; bid her goodbye, bid her goodbye." I saw her floating away from me on those

hideous waters. The cruel current held me back when I tried to follow her. I struggled and screamed and

shivered and cried. I woke up with a start that shook me to pieces, and cursed your interesting river. Don't

write to me about it again. Don't look at it again. Why did you bring up the subject? I beg your pardon; I had

no right to say that. Let me be polite; let me be hospitable. I beg to invite you to come and see me, when my

room is purified from its pestilent smell. I can only offer you a cup of tea. Oh, that river, that river, what devil

set me talking about it? I'm not mad, Mr. Roylake; only wretched. When may I expect you? Choose your own

Who could help pitying him? Compared with my sound sweet dreamless sleep, what dreadful nights were

I accepted his invitation as a matter of course. When we had completed our arrangements, it was time for me

to think of returning to Trimley Deen. Moving towards the door, I accidentally directed his attention to the

His face instantly reminded me of Cristel's description of him, when he was strongly and evilly moved. I too

saw "his beautiful eves tell tales, and his pretty complexion change to a color which turned him into an ugly

man." He seized my arm, and pointed to the pier, at the end of it which joined the riverbank. "Pray accept

my excuses; I can't answer for my temper if that wretch comes near me." With this apology he hurried away;

and sly Giles Toller, having patiently waited until the coast was clear, accosted me with his best bow, and

I had no remarks to make on the weather; but I was interested in discovering what had happened at the

"You have mortally offended the gentleman who has just left me," I said. "What have you done?"

Mr. Toller had purposes of his own to serve, and kept those purposes (as usual) exclusively in view: he

"I don't think I ever remember such wonderful weather, sir, in my time; and I'm an old fellow, as I needn't tell

you. Being at the mill just now, I saw you in the boathouse, and came to pay my respects. Would you be so

good as to look at this slip of paper, Mr. Gerard? If you will kindly ask what it is, you will in a manner help

I knew but too well what it was. "The repairs again!" I said resignedly. "Hand it over, you obstinate old man."

Mr. Toller was so tickled by my discovery, and by the cheering prospect consequent on seeing his list of

repairs safe in my pocket, that he laughed until I really thought he would shake his lean little body to pieces.

By way of bringing his merriment to an end, I assumed a look of severity, and insisted on knowing how he

had offended the Lodger. My venerable tenant, trembling for his repairs, drifted into a question of personal

"When you have a woman about the house, Mr. Gerard, you may have noticed that she's an everlasting

"That's it, sir; I'm talking of Cristy. When her back's up, there isn't her equal in England for strong language.

My gentleman has misbehaved himself in some way (since you were with us this morning, sir); how, I don't

quite understand. All I can tell you is, I've given him notice to quit. A clear loss of money to me every week,

and Cristy's responsible for it. Yes, sir! I've been worked up to it by my girl. If Cristy's mother had asked me

to get rid of a paying lodger, I should have told her to go to we won't say where, sir; you'll know where

when you're married yourself. The upshot of it is that I have offended my gentleman, for the sake of my girl:

which last is a luxury I can't afford, unless I let the rooms again. If you hear of a tenant, say what a good

I led the way to the bank of the river, before Mr. Toller could make any more requests.

We passed the side of the old cottage. The door was open; and I saw Cristel employed in the kitchen.

My watch told me that I had still two or three minutes to spare; and my guilty remembrance of the message

that I had pinned to the door suggested an immediate expression of regret. I approached Cristel with a petition

for pardon on my lips. She looked distrustfully at the door of communication with the new cottage, as if she

I offered to meet her at any other place which she might appoint. Cristel persisted in leaving it to me; she

spoke absently, as if she was thinking all the time of something else. I could propose no better place, at the

moment, than the spring in Fordwitch Wood. She consented to meet me there, on the next day, if seven

o'clock in the morning would not be too early for me. My German habits had accustomed me to early rising.

She heard me tell her thisand looked again at the Lodger's doorand abruptly wished me good evening.

Her polite father was shocked at this unceremonious method of dismissing the great man, who had only to

say the word and stop the repairs. "Where are your manners, Cristy?" he asked indignantly. Before he could

As I passed the spring on my way home, I thought of my two appointments. On that evening, my meeting

with the daughter of the lord. On the next morning, my meeting with the daughter of the miller. Lady Lena at

dinner; Cristel before breakfast. If Mrs. Roylake found out that social contrast, what would she say? I was a

The dinner at Trimley Deen has left in my memory little that I can distinctly recall. Only a faintlymarked

vision of Lady Lena rewards me for doing my best to remember her. A tall slim graceful person, dressed in

white with a simplicity which is the perfection of art, presents to my admiration gentle blue eyes, a pale

complexion delicately touched with color, a wellcarried head crowned by lovely light brown hair. So far,

time helps the reviving past to come to life againand permits nothing more. I cannot say that I now

remember the voice once so musical in my ears, or that I am able to repeat the easy unaffected talk which

once interested me, or that I see again (in my thoughts) the perfect charm of manner which delighted

everybody, not forgetting myself. My unworthy self, I might say; for I was the only young man, honored by

an introduction to Lady Lena, who stopped at admiration, and never made use of opportunity to approach

On the other hand, I distinctly recollect what my stepmother and I said to each other when our guests had

If I am asked to account for this, I can only reply that the conspiracy to lead me into proposing marriage to

Lady Lena first showed itself on the occasion to which I have referred. In her eagerness to reach her ends,

Mrs. Roylake failed to handle the fine weapons of deception as cleverly as usual. Even I, with my small

I had retired to the seclusion of the smokingroom, and was already encircled by the clouds which float on

the heaven of tobacco, when I heard a rustling of silk outside, and saw the smile of Mrs. Roylake beginning

"If you throw away your cigar," cried this amiable person, "you will drive me out of the room. Dear Gerard, I

My fat man in black, coming in at the moment to bring me some soda water, looked at his mistress with an

expression of amazement and horror, which told me that he now saw Mrs. Roylake in the smokingroom for

the first time. I involved myself in new clouds. If I suffocated my stepmother, her own polite equivocation

would justify the act. She settled herself opposite to me in an armchair. The agonies that she must have

suffered, in preventing her face from expressing emotions of disgust, I dare not attempt to imagine, even at

"Now, Gerard, let us talk about the two ladies. What do you think of my friend, Lady Rachel?"

"Heavens, what a thing to say of a ladyand that lady my friend! Her politics may very reasonably have

surprised you. But surely her vigorous intellect ought to have challenged your admiration; you can't deny

I was not clever enough to be able to deny it. But I was bold enough to say that Lady Rachel seemed to me to

be a woman who talked for the sake of producing effect. She expressed opinions, as I ventured to declare,

Mrs. Roylake entered a vigorous protest. She assured me that I was completely mistaken. "Lady Rachel," she

said, "is the most perfectly candid person in the whole circle of my acquaintance."

With the best intentions on my part, this was more than I could patiently endure.

"Isn't she the daughter of a nobleman?" I asked. "Doesn't she owe her rank and her splendor, and the respect

that people show to her, to the fortunate circumstance of her birth? And yet she talks as if she was a red

republican. You yourself heard her say that she was a thorough Radical, and hoped she might live to see the

House of Lords abolished. Oh, I heard her! And what is more, I listened so attentively to such sentiments as

these, from a lady with a title, that I can repeat, word for word, what she said next. "We hav'n't deserved our

own titles; we hav'n't earned our own incomes; and we legislate for the country, without having been trusted

by the country. In short, we are a set of impostors, and the time is coming when we shall be found out." Do

you believe she really meant that? All as false as false can bethat's what I say of it."

Quite a mistake on my part; my eloquence had done just what Mrs. Roylake wished me to do. She wanted an

opportunity of dropping Lady Rachel, and taking up Lady Lena, with a producible reason which forbade the

imputation of a personal motive on her part. I had furnished her with the reason. Thus far, I cannot deny it,

"Really, Gerard, you are so violent in your opinions that I am sorry I spoke of Lady Rachel. Shall I find you

equally prejudiced, and equally severe, if I change the subject to dear Lady Lena? Oh, don't say you think She

Here Mrs. Roylake made her first mistake. She overacted her part; and, when it was too late, she arrived, I

"If you hav'n't seen that I sincerely admire Lady Lena," I said, as smartly as I could, "the sooner you disfigure

yourself with a pair of spectacles, my dear lady, the better. She is very pretty, perfectly unaffected, and, if I

My stepmother's face actually brightened with pleasure. Reflecting on it now, I am strongly disposed to think

that she had not allowed her feelings to express themselves so unreservedly, since the time when she was a

girl. After all, Mrs. Roylake was paying her stepson a compliment in trying to entrap him into a splendid

marriage. It was my duty to think kindly of my ambitious relative. I did my duty.

"You really like my sweet Lena?" she said. "I am so glad. What were you talking about, with her? She made

you exert all your powers of conversation, and she seemed to be deeply interested."

More overacting! Another mistake! And I could see through it! With no English subject which we could

discuss in common, Lady Lena's ready tact alluded to my past life. Mrs. Roylake had told her that I was

educated at a German University. She had heard vaguely of students with long hair, who wore Hessian boots,

and fought duels; and she appealed to my experience to tell her something more. I did my best to interest her,

with very indifferent success, and was undeservedly rewarded by a patient attention, which presented the

But let me do my stepmother justice. She contrived to bend me to her will, before she left the

"You have entertained the charming daughters at dinner," she reminded me; "and the least you can do, after

that, is to pay your respects to their noble father. In your position, my dear boy, you cannot neglect our

In two words, I found myself pledged, under pretence of visiting my lord, to improve my acquaintance with

"And pray be careful," Mrs. Roylake proceeded, still braving the atmosphere of the smokingroom, "not to

look surprised if you find Lord Uppercliff's house presenting rather a poor appearance just now."

I was dying for another cigar, and I entirely misunderstood the words of warning which had just been

addressed to me. I tried to bring our interview to a close by making a generous proposal.

"Oh, Gerard, what people you must have lived among! What shocking ignorance of my lord's enormous

fortune! He and his family have only just returned to their country seat, after a long absenceparliament you

know, and foreign baths, and so onand their English establishment is not yet complete. I don't know what

Listening, I must acknowledge, with an absent mind, my attention was suddenly seized by Mrs.

Roylakewithout the slightest conscious effort towards that end, on the part of the lady herself.

"And I must not forget to tell you of poor Lord Uppercliff's misfortune. He had a fall, some time since, and

broke his leg. As I think, he was so unwise as to let a plausible young surgeon set the broken bone. Anyway,

the end of it is that my lord slightly limps when he walks; and pray remember that he hates to see it noticed.

Lady Rachel doesn't agree with me in attributing her father's lameness to his surgeon's want of experience.

Between ourselves, the man seems to have interested her. Very handsome, very clever, very agreeable, and

the manners of a gentleman. When his medical services came to an end, he was quite an acquisition at their

parties in Londonwith one drawback: he mysteriously disappeared, and has never been heard of since. Ask

Lady Lena about it. She will give you all the details, without her elder sister's bias in favour of the handsome

young man. What a pretty compliment you are paying me! You really look as if I had interested you."

Although the recent return of Lord Uppercliff and his daughter to their country home had, as yet, allowed no

opportunity of a meeting, out of doors, between the deaf Lodger and the friends whom he had lost sight

ofno doubt at the time of his serious illnessstill, the inevitable discovery might happen on any day.

What result would follow? And what would be the effect on Lady Rachel, when she met with the fascinating

We were alone in the glade, by the side of the spring. At that early hour there were no interruptions to dread;

but Cristel was ill at ease. She seemed to be eager to get back to the cottage as soon as possible.

"Father tells me," she began abruptly, "he saw you at the boathouse. And it seemed to him, that you were

I reminded her of my having expressed the fear that we had been needlessly hard on him; and, I added that he

had written a letter which confirmed me in that opinion. She looked, not only disappointed, but even alarmed.

"So little mistaken," I assured her, "that I am going to drink tea with the man who seems to frighten you. I

"Will you hear what I want to tell you?" she said earnestly. "You may alter your opinion if you know what I

have been foolish enough to do, when you saw me go to the other side of the cottage."

"Dear Cristel, I know what I owe to your kind interest in me on that occasion!" Before I could say a word of

apology for having wronged her by my suspicions, she insisted on an explanation of what I had just said.

I owned that I had obtained my information in this way. And I declared that he had expressed his admiration

of her, and his belief in her, in terms which made it a subject of regret to me not to be able to show what he

Cristel forgot her fear of our being interrupted. Her dismay expressed itself in a cry that rang through the

"You even believe in his letter?" she exclaimed. "Mr. Gerard! His writing in that way to You about Me is a

proof that he lies; and I'll make you see it. If you were anybody else but yourself, I would leave you to your

fate. Yes, your fate," she passionately repeated. "Oh, forgive me, sir! I'm behaving disrespectfully; I beg your

pardon. No, no; let me go on. When I spoke to him in your best interests (as I did most truly believe) I never

suspected what mischief I had done, till I looked in his face. Then, I saw how he hated you, and how vilely he

"My dear, you have quite mistaken him. As I have already said, he sincerely respects youand he owns that

"What! Is that in his letter too? It's worse even than I feared. Again, and again, and again, I say it"she

stamped on the ground in the fervor of her conviction"he hates you with the hatred that never forgives and

never forgets. You think him a good man. Do you suppose I would have begged and prayed of my father to

send him away, without having reasons that justified me? Mr. Gerard, you force me to tell you what my

unlucky visit did put into his head. Yes, he does believebelieves firmlythat you have forgotten what is

due to your rank; that I have been wicked enough to forget it too; and that you are going to take me away

from him. Say what he may, and write what he may, he is deceiving you for his own wicked ends. If you go

to drink tea with him, God only knows what cause you may have to regret it. Forgive me for being so violent,

sir; I have done now. You have made me very wretched, but you are too good and kind to mean it.

No! let me write honestly. Her eyes betrayed her, her voice betrayed her, while she said her parting words.

What I saw, what I heard, was no longer within the limits of doubt. The sweet girl's interest in my welfare

was not the merely friendly interest which she herself believed it to be. And I said just now that I was

"touched." Cant! Lies! I loved her more dearly than I had ever loved her yet. There is the truthstripped of

What I might have said to her, if the opportunity had offered itself, may be easily imagined. Before I could

open my lips, a man appeared on the path which led from the mill to the springthe man whom Cristel had

I felt her hand trembling in my hand, and gave it a little encouraging squeeze. "Let us judge him," I

Without an attempt at concealment on his part, he advanced towards us briskly, smiling and waving his hand.

"What, Mr. Roylake, you have already found out the virtues of your wonderful spring, and you are drinking

the water before breakfast! I have often done it myself when I was not too lazy to get up. And this charming

girl," he went on, turning to Cristel, "has she been trying the virtues of the spring by your advice? She won't

listen to me, or I should have recommended it long since. See me set the example."

He took a silver mug from his pocket, and descended the few steps that led to the spring. Allowing for the

dreadful deaf monotony in his voice, no man could have been more innocently joyous and agreeable. While

"Is this the hypocrite, who is deceiving me for his own wicked ends?" I asked. "Does he look like the jealous

monster who is plotting my destruction, and who will succeed if I am fool enough to accept his invitation?"

Poor dear, she was as obstinate as ever! "Think over what I have said to youthink, for your own sake," was

She ran away from me, taking the path which would lead her home again. The deaf man and I were left

together. He looked after her until she was out of sight. Then he produced his book of blank leaves. But,

It was only possible, while the book was in his possession, to remind him that I could hear, and that he could

speak, by using the language of signs. I touched my lips, and pointed to him; I touched my ear, and pointed to

"Yes," he said, understanding me with his customary quickness; "but I want you to remember as well as to

hear. When I have filled this leaf, I shall beg you to keep it about you, and to refer to it from time to time."

"You must have seen for yourself that I was incapable of insulting you and Miss Cristel by an outbreak of

jealousy, when I found you together just now. Only remember that we all have our weaknesses, and that it is

my hard lot to be in a state of contest with the inherited evil which is the calamity of my life. With your

encouragement, I may resist temptation in the future, and keep the better part of me in authority over my

thoughts and actions. But, be on your guard, and advise Miss Cristel to be on her guard, against false

appearances. As we all know, they lie like truth. Consider me. Pity me. I ask no more."

Straightforward and manly and modestI appeal to any unprejudiced mind whether I should not have

I signed to him to give me his book, and relieved him of anxiety in these words:

"If I had failed to understand you, I should have felt ashamed of myself. May I show what you have written

"If you wish it," he answered. "I leave it entirely to you. Thank youand good morning."

Having advanced a few steps on his way to the cottage, he paused, and reminded me of the teadrinking:

The breakfast hour had not yet arrived when I got home. I went into the garden to refresh my eyesa little

weary of the solemn uniformity of color in Fordwitch Woodby looking at the flowers.

Reaching the terrace, in the first place, I heard below me a man's voice, speaking in tones of angry authority,

and using language which expressed an intention of turning somebody out of the garden. I at once descended

the steps which led to the flowerbeds. The man in authority proved to be one of my gardeners; and the man

threatened with instant expulsion was the oddlydressed servant of the friend whom I had just left.

The poor fellow's ugly face presented a picture of shame and contrition, the moment I showed myself. He

"Wait a little," I said. "Let me see if I have anything to forgive." I turned to the gardener. "What is your

"He's a trespasser on your grounds, sir. And, his impudence, to say the least of it, is such as I never met with

The gardener looked round him, longing to refer me to the necessary evidence, and failing to discover it

anywhere. The wretched trespasser took heart of grace, and said a word in his own defence.

"Nobody ever knew me to misbehave myself in a gentleman's garden," he said; "I own, sir, to having taken a

"Yes, sir. I once failed in business as a nurserymanbut I don't blame the flowers."

The delightful simplicity of this was lost on the gardener. I heard the brute mutter to himself: "Gammon!" For

"Understand this," I said to him: "I don't confine the enjoyment of my garden to myself and my friends. Any

wellbehaved persons are welcome to come here and look at the flowers. Remember that. Now you may go."

Having issued these instructions, I next addressed myself to my friend in the shabby shooting jacket; telling

him to roam wherever he liked, and to stay as long as he pleased. Instead of thanking me and using his

"I'm afraid you don't know, sir, who it is you are so kind to. I've been something else in my time, besides a

If he expected me to exhibit indignation or contempt, he was disappointed. My ignorance treated him as

The unfortunate pugilist looked at me in speechless bewilderment. I told him that I had been brought up

among foreigners, and that I had never even seen an English newspaper for the last ten years. This

explanation seemed to encourage the man of few words: it set him talking freely at last. He delivered a

treatise on the art of prizefighting, and he did something else which I found more amusinghe told me his

name. To my small sense of humor his name, so to speak, completed this delightfully odd man: it was

Gloody. As to the list of his misfortunes, the endless length of it became so unendurably droll, that we both

indulged in unfeeling fits of laughter over the sorrows of Gloody. The first lucky accident of the poor fellow's

Gloody modestly described himself as "one of the starving lot, sir, that looks out for small errands. I got my

first dinner for three days, by carrying a gentleman's portmanteau for him. And he, if you please, was

afterwards my master. He lived alone. Bless you, he was as deaf then as he is now. He says to me, 'If you

bawl in my ears, I'll knock you down.' I thought to myself, you wouldn't say that, master, if you knew how I

was employed twenty years ago. He took me into his service, sir, because I was ugly. 'I'm so handsome

myself;' he says, 'I want a contrast of something ugly about me.' You may have noticed that he's a bitter

oneand bitterly enough he sometimes behaved to me. But there's a good side to him. He gives me his old

clothes, and sometimes he speaks almost as kindly to me as you do. But for him, I believe I should have

He suddenly checked himself. Whether he was afraid of wearying me, or whether some painful recollection

The ugly face, to which he owed his first poor little morsel of prosperity, became overclouded by care and

doubt. Bursting into expressions of gratitude which I had certainly not deservedexpressions, so evidently

sincere, that they bore witness to constant illusage suffered in the course of his hard lifehe left me with a

I watched him retreating along the path, and saw him stop abruptly, still with his back to me. His deep strong

voice travelled farther than he supposed. I heard him say to himself: "What an infernal rascal I am!" He

waited a little, and turned my way again. Slowly and reluctantly, he came back to me. As he approached I

saw the man, who had lived by the public exhibition of his courage, looking at me with fear plainly visible in

We waited a little; I gave him time to collect his thoughts. Perhaps the silence confused him. Anyhow, I was

"Nonsense! It seems odd, my good fellow, that your master shouldn't have told you I was coming to drink tea

He shifted from one foot to another, and looked as if he wished himself out of my way. At a later time of my

life, I have observed that these are signs by which an honest man is apt to confess that he has told, or is going

"I can't quite say, Mr. Roylake, that my master didn't mention the thing to me."

"Well, sir, if I want to ask him anything I have to write it. I'm slow at writing, and bad at writing, and he isn't

always patient. However, as you reminded me just now, I have got to get the things ready. To cut it short,

Was this a hint? or only an excuse? In either case it was high time, if he still refused to speak out, that I

"You have given me some curious information," I said, "on the subject of fighting with the fists; and you

have made me understand the difference between 'fair hitting' and 'foul hitting'. Are you hitting fair now?

Very likely I am mistakenbut you seem to me to be trying to prevent my accepting your master's

"I beg your pardon, sir; I won't detain you any longer. If you will allow me, I'll take my leave."

"Don't go, Mr. Gloody, without telling me whether I am right or wrong. Is there really some objection to my

"Quite a mistake, sir," he said, still in a hurry. "I've led you wrong without meaning itbeing an ignorant

man, and not knowing how to express myself. Don't think me ungrateful, Mr. Roylake! After your kindness

His sunken eyes moistened, his big voice faltered. I let him leave me, in mercy to the strong feeling which I

had innocently roused. But I shook hands with him first. Yielding to one of my headlong impulses? Yes. And

My loyalty towards the afflicted man, whose friendly advances I had seen good reason to return, was in no

sense shaken. His undeserved misfortunes, his manly appeal to me at the spring, his hopeless attachment to

the beautiful girl whose aversion towards him I had unhappily encouraged, all pleaded with me in his favour.

I had accepted his invitation; and I had no other engagement to claim me: it would have been an act of

meanness amounting to a confession of fear, if I had sent an excuse. Still, while Cristel's entreaties and

Cristel's influence had failed to shake me, Gloody's strange language and Gloody's incomprehensible conduct

had troubled my mind. I felt vaguely uneasy; irritated by my own depression of spirits. If I had been a

philosopher, I should have recognized the symptoms of a very common attack of a very widelyspread moral

malady. The meanest of all human infirmities is also the most universal; and the name of it is Selfesteem.

It is perhaps only right to add that my patience had been tried by the progress of domestic events, which

Calling, with my stepmother, at Lord Uppercliff's house later in the day, I perceived that Lady Rachel and

Mrs. Roylake found (or made) an opportunity of talking together confidentially in a corner; and, once or

twice, I caught them looking at Lady Lena and at me. Even Lord Uppercliff (perhaps not yet taken into their

confidence) noticed the proceedings of the two ladies, and seemed to be at a loss to understand them.

When Mrs. Roylake and I were together again, on our way home, I was prepared to hear the praise of Lady

Lena, followed by a delicate examination into the state of my heart. Neither of these anticipations was

Mrs. Roylake talked as fluently as ever; exhausting one commonplace subject after another, without the

slightest allusion to my lord's daughter, to my matrimonial prospects, or to my visits at the mill. I was secretly

annoyed, feeling that my stepmother's singular indifference to domestic interests of paramount importance, at

other times, must have some object in view, entirely beyond the reach of my penetration. If I had dared to

commit such an act of rudeness, I should have jumped out of the carriage, and have told Mrs. Roylake that I

The day was Sunday. I loitered about the garden, listening to the distant churchbell ringing for the afternoon

service. Without any cause that I knew of to account for it, I was so restless that nothing I could do attracted

Returning to the house, I tried to occupy myself with my collection of insects, sadly neglected of late.

I went back to the garden. Passing the open window of one of the lower rooms which looked out on the

terrace, I saw Mrs. Roylake reading a book in sadcolored binding. She was yawning over it fearfully, when

she discovered that I was looking at her. Equal to any emergency, this remarkable woman instantly handed to

me a second and similar volume. "The most precious sermons, Gerard, that have been written in our time." I

looked at the book; I opened the book; I recovered my presence of mind, and handed it back. If a female

humbug was on one side of the window, a male humbug was on the other. "Please keep it for me till the

Men will wonder what possessed mewomen will think it a proceeding that did me creditI took the

familiar road which led to the gloomy wood and the guilty river. The longing in me to see Cristel again, was

more than I could resist. Not because I was in love with her; only because I had left her in distress.

Beyond the spring, and within a short distance of the river, I saw a lady advancing towards me on the path

Brisk, smiling, tripping along like a young girl, behold the mockrepublican, known in our neighborhood as

Lady Rachel! She held out both hands to me. But for her petticoats, I should have thought I had met with a

"I have been wandering in your glorious wood, Mr. Roylake. Anything to escape the respectable classes on

Sunday, patronizing piety on the way to afternoon church. I must positively make a sketch of the cottage by

the millI mean, of course, the picturesque side of it. That fine girl of Toller's was standing at the door. She

is really handsomer than ever. Are you going to see her, you wicked man? Which do you admirethat gypsy

complexion, or Lena's lovely skin? Both, I have no doubt, at your age. Goodbye."

When we had left each other, I thought of the absent Captain in the Navy who was Lady Rachel's husband.

He was a perfect strangerbut I put myself in his place, and felt that I too should have gone to sea.

"We are all at sixes and sevens, Mr. Gerard. I've had another row with that deafdevilmy new name for

him, and I think it's rather clever. He swears, sir, that he won't go at the end of his week's notice. Says, if I

think I'm likely to get rid of him before he has married Cristy, I'm mistaken. Threatens, if any man attempts

to take her away, he'll shoot her, and shoot the man, and shoot himself. Aha! old as I am, if he believes he's

going to have it all his own way, he's mistaken. I'll be even with him. You mark my words: I'll be even with

That old Tollerthe most exasperating of men, judged by a quick temperhad irritated my friend into

speaking rashly was plain enough. Nevertheless, I felt some anxiety (jealous anxiety, I am afraid) about

"Sitting forlorn in her bedroom, crying," her father told me. "I went out for a walk by the river, and I sat

down, and (being Sunday) I fell asleep. When I woke, and got home again just now, that was how I found

her. I don't like to hear my girl crying; she's as good as gold and better. No, sir; our deafdevil is not to blame

for this. He has given Cristy no reason to complain of him. She says so herselfand she never told a lie yet."

"But, Mr. Toller," I objected, "something must have happened to distress her. Has she not told you what it

"Not she! Obstinate about it. Leaves me to guess. It's clear to my mind, Mr. Gerard, that somebody has got at

her in my absence, and said something to upset her. You will ask me who the person is. I can't say I have

He answered me with little of the energy which generally distinguished him. Perhaps he was fatigued, or

"When we are in want of help," I said, "we sometimes find it, nearer than we had ventured to expectat our

He hobbled to the doorand looked round at me. "I've got burdens on my mind," he explained, "or I should

have thought of it too." Having done justice to his own abilities, he bustled out. In less than a minute, he was

back again in a state of breathless triumph. "Gloody has seen the person," he announced; "and (what do you

I beckoned to Gloody, waiting modestly at the door, to come in, and tell me what he had discovered.

"I saw her outside, sirrapping at the door here, with her parasol." That was the servant's report.

Her parasol? Not being acquainted with the development of dress among female servants in England, I asked

if she was a lady. There seemed to be no doubt of it in the man's mind. She was also, as Gloody supposed, a

"Well, sir, she was waiting to be let in; and I was behind her, coming out of the wood."

"Miss Cristel." His face brightened with an expression of interest when he mentioned the miller's daughter.

He went on with his story without wanting questions to help him. "Miss Cristel looked like a person surprised

at seeing a strangerwhat I should call a free and easy stranger. She walked in, sir, as if the place belonged

I am not suspicious by nature, as I hope and believe. But I began to be reminded of Lady Rachel already.

A woman who had seen her would have been able to describe every morsel of her dress from head to foot.

The man had only observed her hat; and all he could say was that he thought it "a smartish one."

The hat I had seen on the head of that hateful woman was now sufficiently describedfor a man. Sly old

Toller, leaving Gloody unnoticed, and keeping his eye on me, saw the signs of conviction in my face, and

I followed, at my humble distance, the example of Sir Walter Scott, when inquisitive people asked him if he

was the author of the Waverley Novels. In plain English, I denied all knowledge of the stranger wearing the

green hat. But, I was naturally desirous of discovering next what Lady Rachel had said; and I asked to speak

with Cristel. Her farseeing father might or might not have perceived a chance of listening to our

conversation. He led me to the door of his daughter's room; and stood close by, when I knocked softly, and

The tone of the poor girl's voiceanswering, "Forgive me, sir; I can't do it"convicted the shesocialist (as

I thought) of merciless conduct of some sort. Assuming this conclusion to be the right one, I determined, then

and there, that Lady Rachel should not pass the doors of Trimley Deen again. If her bosomfriend resented

that wise act of severity by leaving the house, I should submit with resignation, and should remember the

"I am afraid you are ill, Cristel?" was all I could find to say, under the double disadvantage of speaking

"Oh no, Mr. Gerard, not ill. A little low in my mind, that's all. I don't mean to be rude, sirpray be kinder to

Old Toller highly approved of my conduct. He rubbed his fleshless hands, and whispered: "You'll get it out of

I found Gloody waiting for me outside the cottage. He was anxious about Miss Cristel; his only excuse, he

told me, being the fear that she might be ill. Having set him at ease, in that particular, I said: "You seem to be

An odd man, with a personal appearance that might excite a prejudice against him, in some minds. I failed to

see it myself in that light. It struck me, as I walked home, that Cristel might have made many a worse friend

A change in my manner was of course remarked by Mrs. Roylake's ready observation. I told her that I had

been annoyed, and offered no other explanation. Wonderful to relate, she showed no curiosity and no

surprise. More wonderful still, at every fair opportunity that offered, she kept out of my way.

My next day's engagement being for seven o'clock in the evening, I put Mrs. Roylake's selfcontrol to a new

test. With prefatory excuses, I informed her that I should not be able to dine at home as usual. Impossible as it

was that she could have been prepared to hear this, her presence of mind was equal to the occasion. I left the

Hoping to speak with Cristel alone, I had arranged to reach the cottage before seven o'clock.

On the rivermargin of the wood, I was confronted by a wild gleam of beauty in the familiar view, for which

previous experience had not prepared me. Am I wrong in believing that all scenery, no matter how

magnificent or how homely it may be, derives a splendor not its own from favouring conditions of light and

shade? Our gloomy trees and our repellent river presented an aspect superbly transfigured, under the shadows

of the towering clouds, the fantastic wreaths of the mist, and the lurid reddening of the sun as it stooped to its

setting. Lovely interfusions of sobered color rested, faded, returned again, on the upper leaves of the foliage

as they lightly moved. The mist, rolling capriciously over the waters, revealed the grandly deliberate course

of the flowing current, while it dimmed the turbid earthy yellow that discolored and degraded the stream

under the full glare of day. While my eyes followed the successive transformations of the view, as the hour

advanced, tender and solemn influences breathed their balm over my mind. Days, happy days that were past,

revived. Again, I walked hand in hand with my mother, among the scenes that were round me, and learnt

from her to be grateful for the beauty of the earth, with a heart that felt it. We were tracing our way along our

favorite woodland path; and we found a companion of tender years, hiding from us. She showed herself;

blushing, hesitating, offering a nosegay of wild flowers. My mother whispered to meI thanked the little

millgirl, and gave her a kiss. Did I feel the child's breath, in my daydream, still fluttering on my cheek?

Was I conscious of her touch? I started, trembled, returned reluctantly to my present self. A visible hand

touched my arm. As I turned suddenly, a living breath played on my face. The child had faded into a

vanishing shade: the perfected woman who had grown from her had stolen on me unawares, and was asking

me to pardon her. "Mr. Gerard, you were lost in your thoughts; I spoke, and you never heard me."

Was this the dear Cristel so well known to me? Or was it a mockery of her that had taken her place?

"You have surprised me," I answered. "Something must have happened, since I saw you last. What is it?"

I advanced a step, and drew her closer to me. A dark flush discolored her face. An overpowering brilliancy

flashed from her eyes; there was an hysterical defiance in her manner. "Are you excited? are you angry? are

you trying to startle me by acting a part?" I urged those questions on her, one after another; and I was loudly

"I dare say I am excited, Mr. Gerard, by the honor that has been done me. You are going to keep your

engagement, of course? Well, your friend, your favorite friend, has invited me to meet you. No! that's not

Her manner was as strangely altered as her looks. That she was beside herself for the moment, I clearly saw.

That she had answered me unreservedly, it was impossible to believe. I began to feel angry, when I ought to

"Mr. Gerard, don't abuse that good and kind lady. She deserves your gratitude as well as mine."

Her manner had become quieter; her face was more composed; her expression almost recovered its natural

"Try, sir, to forget it and forgive it," she resumed gently, "if I have misbehaved myself. I don't rightly know

"No! no indeed! I have not seen him; I have not heard from him. His servant often brings me messages. Not

"Oh, yes! There's one thing, if I may make so bold, I should like to know. Mr. Gloody is as good to me as

good can be; we see each other continually, living in the same place. But you are different; and he tells me

himself he has only seen you twice. What have you done, Mr. Gerard, to make him like you so well, in that

I told her that he had been found in my garden, looking at the flowers. "As he had done no harm," I said, "I

wouldn't allow the servant to turn him out; and I walked round the flowerbeds with him. Little enough to

I had intended to say no more than this. But the remembrance of Gloody's mysterious prevarication, and of

the uneasiness which I had undoubtedly felt when I thought of it afterwards, led me (I cannot pretend to say

how) into associating Cristel's agitation with something which this man might have said to her. I was on the

The wind was blowing towards us from the riverside village, to which I have already alluded. I am not sure

whether I have mentioned that the name of the place was Kylam. It was situated behind a promontory of the

riverbank, clothed thickly with trees, and was not visible from the mill. In the present direction of the wind,

She had repeatedin an unsteady voice, and with a sudden change in her color to palenessthe strange

question put to me by Gloody. In his case I had failed to trace the motive. I tried to discover it now.

"Remember what I told you at the spring," she answered. "You are deceived by a false friend who lies to you

The man she was speaking of turned the corner of the new cottage. He waved his hand gaily, and approached

Instead of letting me precede her, as I had anticipated, she ran on before memade a sign to the deaf man, as

she passed him, not to stop herand disappeared through the open door of her father's side of the cottage.

I was left to decide for myself. What should I have done, if I had been twenty years older?

Say that my moral courage would have risen superior to the poorest of all fears, the fear of appearing to be

afraid, and that I should have made my excuses to my host of the eveninghow would my moral courage

have answered him, if he had asked for an explanation? Useless to speculate on it! Had I possessed the

wisdom of middle life, his book of leaves would not have told him, in my own handwriting, that I believed in

his better nature, and accepted his friendly letter in the spirit in which he had written

Explain it who canI knew that I was going to drink tea with him, and yet I was unwilling to advance a few

"I find a new bond of union between us," he said, as he joined me. "We both feel that." He pointed to the

grandly darkening view. "The two men who could have painted the mystery of those growing shadows and

I went in. Old Toller was in the kitchen, smoking his pipe without appearing to enjoy it.

"What's come to my girl?" he asked, the moment he saw me. "Yesterday she was in her room, crying. Today

The warnings which I had neglected rose in judgment against me. I was silent; I was awed. Before I

recovered myself, Cristel entered the kitchen. Her father whispered, "Look at her!"

Of the excitement which had disturbedI had almost said, profanedher beautiful face, not a vestige

remained. Pale, composed, resolute, she said, "I am ready," and led the way out.

I perceived but one change in the Lodger's miserable room, since I had seen it last.

A second table was set against one of the walls. Our boiling water for the tea was kept there, in a silver kettle

heated by a spiritlamp. I next observed a delicate little china vase which held the tea, and a finelydesigned

glass claret jug, with a silver cover. Other men, possessing that beautiful object, would have thought it

worthy of the purest Bordeaux wine which the arts of modern adulteration permit us to drink. This man had

"All my valuable property, ostentatiously exposed to view," he said, in his bitterly facetious manner. "My

The big table presented a coarse earthenware teapot; cups and saucers with pieces chipped out of them; a

cracked milk jug; a tumbler which served as a sugar basin; and an old vegetable dish, honored by holding

My deaf friend, in boisterously good spirits, pointed backwards and forwards between the precious and the

worthless objects on the two tables, as if he saw a prospect that delighted him.

"I don't believe the man lives," he said, "who enjoys Contrast as I do.What do you want now?"

This question was addressed to Gloody, who had just entered the room. He touched the earthenware teapot.

"What does he say? Write it down for me, Mr. Roylake. I beg you will write it down."

There was anger in his eyes as he made that request. I took his book, and wrote the wordsharmless words,

"In the days when you were a ruffian in the prizering, did the other men's fists beat all the brains out of your

He pointed to an open door, communicating with another bedroom. Gloody's eyes rested steadily on Cristel:

she failed to notice him, being occupied at the moment in replacing the pin of a brooch which had slipped out

of her dress. The man withdrew into the second bedroom, and softly closed the door.

Our host recovered his good humor. He took a wooden stool, and seated himself by Cristel.

"Borrowed furniture," he said, "as well as borrowed teathings. What a debt of obligation I owe to your

excellent father. How quiet you are, dear girl. Do you regret having followed the impulse which made you

kindly offer to drink tea with us?" He suddenly turned to me. "Another proof, Mr. Roylake, of the sisterly

interest that she feels in you; she can't hear of your coming to my room, without wanting to be with you. Ah,

you possess the mysterious attractions which fascinate the sex. One of these days, some woman will love you

as never man was loved yet." He addressed himself again to Cristel. "Still out of spirits? I dare say you are

tired of waiting for your tea. No? You have had tea already? It's Gloody's fault; he ought to have told me that

seven o'clock was too late for you. The poor devil deserved that you should take no notice of him when he

looked at you just now. Are you one of the few women who dislike an ugly man? Women in general, I can

tell you, prefer ugly men. A handsome man matches them on their own ground, and they don't like that. 'We

are so fond of our ugly husbands; they set us off to such advantage.' Oh, I don't report what they say; I speak

the language in which they think.Mr. Roylake, does it strike you that the Cur is a sad cynic? Bytheby,

do you call me 'the Cur' (as I suggested) when you speak of me to other peopleto Miss Cristel, for

instance? My charming young friends, you both look shocked; you both shake your heads. Perhaps I am in

one of my tolerant humors today; I see nothing disgraceful in being a Cur. He is a dog who represents

different breeds. Very well, the English are a people who represent different breeds: Saxons, Normans,

Danes. The consequence, in one case, is a great nation. The consequence, in the other case, is the cleverest

member of the whole dog familyas you may find out for yourself if you will only teach him. Hahow I

am running on. My guests try to slip in a word or two, and can't find their opportunity. Enjoyment, Miss

Cristel. Excitement, Mr. Roylake. For more than a year past, I have not luxuriated in the pleasures of society.

I feel the social glow; I love the human family; I never, never, never was such a good man as I am now. Let

Cristel and I stopped him, at the same moment. We instinctively lifted our hands to our ears.

In his delirium of high spirits, he had burst through the invariable monotony of his articulation. Without the

slightest gradation of sound, his voice broke suddenly into a screech, prolonged in its own discord until it

became perfectly unendurable to hear. The effect that he had produced upon us was not lost on him. His head

sank on his breast; horrid shudderings shook him without mercy; he said to himself not to us:

There was a whole world of misery in those simple words. Cristel kept her place, unmoved. I rose, and put

my hand kindly on his shoulder. It was the best way I could devise of assuring him of my sympathy.

His book of leaves was on the table; he did once more, what he had already done at the spring. Instead of

"Let me spare your nerves a repetition of my deaf discord. Sight, smell, touch, tasteI would give them all

to be able to hear. In reminding me of that vain aspiration, my infirmity revenges itself: my deafness is not

accustomed to be forgotten. Well! I can be silently useful; I can make the tea."

He rose, and, taking the teapot with him, went to the table that had been placed against the wall. In that

At the same time, I felt his book gently taken out of my hand. Cristel had been reading, while I read, over my

Following him, she touched his arm, and presented her request. He shook his head in token of refusal. She

"I will mention one of them more particularly. After the tea has been made, you may possibly feel me touch

I was fool enough to smile at this, and wise enough afterwards to see in her face that I had made a mistake.

My sense of humor was, by this time, completely held in check. That some surprise was in store for me, and

that Cristel was resolved not to take me into her confidence, were conclusions at which I naturally arrived. I

felt, and surely not without good cause, a little annoyed. The Lodger came back to us with the tea made. As

"Don't think me rude, in refusing your kind offer. If there is one thing I know I can do better than anybody

I made the affirmative sign. He poured out the tea. When he had filled two cups, the supply was exhausted.

"It is a rule," he said, "with masters in the art of making tea, that one infusion ought never to be used twice. If

we want any more, we will make more; and if you feel inclined to join us, Miss Cristel, we will fill the third

What was there in this (I wondered) to make her turn pale? And why, after what he had just said, did I see her

eyes willingly rest on him, for the first time in my experience? Entirely at a loss to understand her, I

resignedly stirred my tea. On the point of tasting it next, felt her hand on my knee, under the table.

Bewildered as I was, I obeyed my instructions, and went on stirring my tea. Our host smiled.

"Your sugar takes a long time to melt," he saidand drank his tea. As he emptied the cup, the touch was

In spite of his boasting, the tea was the worst I ever tasted. I should have thrown it out of the window, if they

had offered us such nasty stuff at Trimley Deen. When I set down my cup, he asked facetiously if I wished

him to brew any more. My negative answer was a masterpiece of strong expression, in the language of signs.

Instead of sending for Gloody to clear the table, he moved away the objects near him, so as to leave an empty

"I ought perhaps to have hesitated, before I asked you to spend the evening with me," he said, speaking with a

gentleness and amiability of manner, strongly in contrast with his behavior up to this time. "It is my

misfortune, as you both well know, to be a check on conversation. I dare say you have asked yourselves:

How is he going to amuse us, after tea? If you will allow me, I propose to amuse you by exhibiting the

dexterity of my fingers and thumbs. Before I was deaf, I should have preferred the piano for this purpose. As

He opened a cupboard in the wall, close by the second table, and returned with a pack of cards.

Cristel imitated the action of dealing cards for a game. "No," he said, "that is not the amusement which I have

in view. Allow me to present myself in a new character. I am no longer the Lodger, and no longer the Cur.

He shuffled the pack by pouring it backwards and forwards from one hand to the other, in a cascade of cards.

The wonderful ease with which he did it prepared me for something worth seeing. Cristel's admiration of his

dexterity expressed itself by a prolonged clapping of hands, and a strange uneasy laugh. As his excitement

subsided, her agitation broke out. I saw the flush again on her face, and the fiery brightness in her eyes. Once,

when his attention was engaged, she stole a look at the door by which Gloody had left the room. Did this

indicate another of the mysteries which, by her own confession, she had in preparation for me? My late

experience had not inclined me favorably towards mysteries. I devoted my whole attention to the Conjurer.

Whether he chose the easiest examples of skill in sleight of hand is more than I know. I can only say that I

never was more completely mystified by any professor of legerdemain on the public platform. After the

performance of each trick, he asked leave to "time himself by looking at his watch; being anxious to discover

if he had lost his customary quickness of execution through recent neglect of the necessary practice.

Of Cristel's conduct, while he was amusing us, I can only say that it justified Mrs. Roylake's spiteful

description of her as a bold girl. The more cleverly the tricks were performed, the more they seemed to annoy

"I hate being puzzled!" she said, addressing herself of course to me. "Yes, yes; his fingers are quicker than

my eyesI have heard that explanation before. When he has done one of his tricks, I want to know how he

does it. Conjurers are people who ask riddles, and, when one can't guess them, refuse to say what the answer

is. It's as bad as calling me a fool, to suppose that I like being deceived. Ah," she cried, with a shocking

He had paused while she was speaking, observing her attentively. "Your face doesn't encourage me," he said,

with a patience and courtesy of manner which it was impossible not to admire. "I am coming gradually to my

"Excuse me for a moment," he resumed; "I am suffering as usual, after drinking tea. I so delight in it that the

temptation tonight was more than I could resist. Tea disagrees with my weak stomach. It always produces

"What nonsense he talks!" Cristel exclaimed. "All mere fancy! He reminds me of the old song called 'The

In spite of my efforts to prevent her, she burst out with the first verse of a stupid comic song. Spared by his

deafness from this infliction of vulgarity, our host filled a tumbler from the water in the claret jug, and drank

As he set the tumbler down, we were startled by an accident in the next room. The floor was suddenly shaken

by the sound of a heavy fall. The fall was followed by a groan which instantly brought me to my feet.

Although his infirmity made him unconscious of the groan, my friend felt the vibration of the floor, and saw

me start up from my chair. He looked even more alarmed than I was, judging by the ghastly change that I saw

in his color; and he reached the door of the second room as soon as I did. It is needless to say that I allowed

On the point of following him, I felt myself roughly pulled back. When I turned round, and saw Cristel, I did

really and truly believe that she was mad. The furious impatience in her eyes, the frenzied strength of her

"Come!" she cried. "No! not a word. There isn't a moment to lose." She dragged me across the room to the

table on which the claret jug stood. She filled the tumbler from it, as he had filled the tumbler. The material

of which the jug had been made was so solid (crystal, not glass as I had supposed) that the filling of the two

tumblers emptied it. Cristel held the water out to me, gasping for breath, trembling as if she saw some

I should of course have found it perfectly easy to obey her, strange as her language was, if I had been in full

possession of myself. Between distress and alarm, my mind (I suppose) had lost its balance. With or without

"You shan't die alone," she said. "If you don't drink it, I'll throw myself out!"

It had a taste which I can compare to no drink, and to no medicine, known to me. I thought of the other

strange taste peculiar to the tea. At last, the tremendous truth forced itself on my mind. The man in whom my

Cristel took the tumbler from me. My poor angel clasped her free arm round my neck, and pressed her lips, in

an ecstasy of joy, on my cheek. The next instant, she seized the claret jug, and dashed it into pieces on the

floor. "Get the jug from his washhandstand," she said. When I gave it to her, she poured some of the water

upon the broken fragments of crystal scattered on the floor. I had put the jug back in its place, and was

returning to Cristel, when the poisoner showed himself, entering from the servant's room.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "Gloody's name ought to be Glutton. An attack of giddiness, thoroughly well

deserved. I have relieved him. You remember, Mr. Roylake, that I was once a surgeon"

We have all read of men who were petrified by terror. Of the few persons who have really witnessed that

spectacle, I am one. The utter stillness of him was really terrible to see. Cristel wrote in his book an excuse,

no doubt prepared beforehand: "That fall in the next room frightened me, and I felt faint. I went to get some

She placed those words under his eyesshe might just as well have shown them to the dog. A dead man,

erect on his feetso he looked to our eyes. So he still looked, when I took Cristel's arm, and led her out of

A burst of tears relieved her, after the unutterable suspense that she had so bravely endured. When she was in

some degree composed again, we walked gently up and down for a minute or two in the cool night air. "Don't

speak to me," she said, as we stopped before her father's door. "I am not fit for it yet; I know what you feel." I

pressed her to my heart, and let the embrace speak for me. She yielded to it, faintly sighing. "Tomorrow?" I

Walking home through the wood, I became aware, little by little, that my thoughts were not under the

customary control. Over and over again, I tried to review the events of that terrible evening, and failed.

Fragments of other memories presented themselvesand then deserted me. Nonsense, absolute nonsense,

found its way into my mind next, and rose in idiotic words to my lips. I grew too lazy even to talk to myself. I

strayed from the path. The mossy earth began to rise and sink under my feet, like the waters in a

groundswell at sea. I stood still, in a state of idiotwonder. The ground suddenly rose right up to my face. I

My first conscious exercise of my senses, when I revived, came to me by way of my ears. Leaden weights

seemed to close my eyes, to fetter my movements, to silence my tongue, to paralyze my touch. But I heard a

wailing voice, speaking close to me, so close that it might have been my own voice: I distinguished the

Was it her warm young breath that quickened me with its vigorous life? I only know that the revival of my

sense of touch did certainly spring from the contact of her lips, pressed to mine in the reckless abandonment

of grief without hope. Her cry of joy, when my first sigh told her that I was still a living creature, ran through

me like an electric shock. I opened my eyes; I held out my hand; I tried to help her when she raised my head,

and set me against the tree under which I had been stretched helpless. With an effort I could call her by her

name. Even that exhausted me. My mind was so weak that I should have believed her, if she had declared

Wiser than I was, she snatched up my hat, ran on before me, and was lost in the darkness.

An interval, an unendurable interval, passed. She returned, having filled my hat from the spring. But for the

exquisite coolness of the water falling on my face, trickling down my throat, I should have lost my senses

again. In a few minutes more, I could take that dear hand, and hold it to me as if I was holding to my life. We

could only see each other obscurely, and in that very circumstance (as we confessed to each other afterwards)

To my astonishment, there was no anger in her tone: she spoke of him as quietly as if she had been alluding

"Yes, thank Godor I should never have found you here. Poor old Gloody came to us, in search of help.

"My master's in a swoon, and I can't bring him to." Directly I heard that, I remembered that you had drunk

what he had drunk. What had happened to him, must have happened to you. Don't ask me how long it was

before I found you, and what I felt when I did find you. I do so want to enjoy my happiness! Only let me see

She helped me to rise, with the encouraging words which she might have used to a child. She put my arm in

Cristel had saved my lifebut she would hear of no allusion to it. She knew how the poisoner had plotted to

get rid of mebut nothing that I could say induced her to tell me how she had made the discovery. In view

If she had not been once more wiser than I was, I should have taken her with me to the house; I should have

positively refused to let her go back by herself. Nothing that I could say or do had the slightest effect on her

resolution. Does the man live who could have taken leave of her calmly, in my place? She tore herself away

Those were her farewell words. I called after her. I tried to follow her. She was lost to me in the darkness.

A night of fever; a night, when I did slumber for a few minutes, of horrid dreamsthis was what I might

have expected, and this is what really happened. The fresh morning air, flowing through my open window,

cooled and composed me; the mercy of sleep found me. When I woke, and looked at my watch, I was a new

I rang my bell. The servant announced that a man was waiting to see me. "The same man, sir, who was found

in the garden, looking at your flowers." I at once gave directions to have him shown up into my bedroom.

The delay of dressing was more than I had patience to encounter. Unless I was completely mistaken, here was

Gloody showed himself at the door, with a face ominously wretched, as well as ugly. I instantly thought of

"It's nothing that need trouble You, sir. I'm dismissed from my master's servicethat's all."

It was plainly not "all." Relieved even by that guarded reply, I pointed to a chair by the bedside.

"I was within a hair's breadth, sir, of striking him. If I hadn't kept my temper, I might have killed him."

"Flew into a furious rage. I don't complain of that; I daresay I deserved it. Please to excuse my getting up

again. I can't look you in the face, and tell you of it." He walked away to the window. "Even a poor devil, like

me, does sometimes feel it when he is insulted. Mr. Roylake, he kicked me. Say no more about it, sir! I would

never have mentioned it, if I hadn't had something else to tell you; only I don't know how." In this difficulty,

he came back to my bedside. "Look here, sir! What I say isthat kick has wiped out the debt of thanks I owe

him. Yes. I say the account between us two is settled now, on both sides. In two words, sir, if you mean to

charge him before the magistrates with attempting your life, I'll take my Bible oath he did attempt it, and you

What his master had no doubt inferred, was what I saw plainly too. Cristel had saved my life, and had been

"We will wait a little before we talk of setting the law in force," I said. "In the meantime, Gloody, I want you

He considered a little. "The magistrate would put questions to mewouldn't he, sir? Very good. You put

The investigation that followed was far too long and too wearisome to be related here. If I give the substance

Sometimes when he was awake, and supposed that he was alonesometimes when he was asleep and

dreamingthe Cur had betrayed himself. (It was a paltry vengeance, I own, to gratify a malicious

pleasureas I did nowin thinking of him and speaking of him by the degrading name which his morbid

humility had suggested. But are the demands of a man's dignity always paid in the ready money of prompt

submission?) Anyway, it appeared that Gloody had heard enough, in the sleeping moments and the solitary

moments of his master, to give him some idea of the jealous hatred with which the Cur regarded me. He had

done his best to warn me, without actually betraying the man who had rescued him from starvation or the

But his resolution to do me good service, in return for my kindness to him, far from being shaken, was

When his master returned to the chemical studies which have been already mentioned, Gloody was employed

as assistant, to the extent of his limited capacity for making himself useful. He had no reason to suppose that I

was the object of any of the experiments, until the day before the teaparty. Then, he saw the dog enticed into

the new cottage, and apparently killed by the administration of poison of some sort. After an interval, a dose

of another kind was poured down the poor creature's throat, and he began to revive. A lapse of a quarter of an

hour followed; the last dose was repeated; and the dog soon sprang to his feet again, as lively as ever. Gloody

was thereupon told to set the animal free; and was informed at the same time that he would be instantly

By what process he arrived at the suspicion that my safety might be threatened, by the experiment on the dog,

"It was borne in on my mind, sir; and that's all I can tell you," he said. "I didn't dare speak to you about it;

you wouldn't have believed me. Or, if you did believe me, you might have sent for the police. The one way of

putting a stop to murdering mischief (if murdering mischief it might be) was to trust Miss Cristel. That she

was fond of youI don't mean any offence, sirI pretty well guessed. That she was true as steel, and not

Gloody had done his best to prepare Cristel for the terrible confidence which he had determined to repose in

her, and had not succeeded. What the poor girl must have suffered, I could but too readily understand, on

recalling the startling changes in her look and manner when we met at the rivermargin of the wood. She was

pledged to secrecy, under penalty of ruining the man who was trying to save me; and to her presence of mind

was trusted the whole responsibility of preserving my life. What a situation for a girl of eighteen!

"We made it out between us, sir, in two ways," Gloody proceeded. "First and foremost, she was to invite

herself to tea. And, being at the table, she was to watch my master. Whatever she saw him drink, she was to

"Well, that was one of the signals agreed on between us. When he sent me away, we were certain of what he

"And when you looked at Miss Cristel, and she was too busy with her brooch to notice you, was that another

"It was, sir. When she handled her silver ornament, she told me that I might depend on her to forget nothing,

I remembered the quiet firmness in her face, after the prayer that she had said in her own room. Her steady

"Did you wonder, sir, what possessed her," Gloody went on, "when she burst out singing? That was a signal

to me. We wanted him out of our way, while you were made to drink what he had drunk out of the jug."

"You forget, sir, that I had seen the dog revived by two doses, given with a space of time between them."

I ought to have remembered this, after what he had already told me. My intelligence brightened a little as I

"And your accident in the next room was planned, of course?" I said. "Do you think he saw through it? I

should say, No; judging by his looks. He turned pale when he felt the floor shaken by your fall. For once in a

"I noticed the same thing, sir, when he picked me up, off the floor. A man who can change his complexion, at

I had been dressing for some time past; longing to see Cristel, it is needless to say.

"Only one thing, Mr. Roylake, that I can think of," Gloody replied. "I'm afraid it's Miss Cristel's turn next."

"While the deaf man lodges at the cottage, he means mischief, and his eye is on Miss Cristel. Early this

morning, sir, I happened to be at the boathouse. Somebody (I leave you to guess who it is) has stolen the

I was dressed by this time, and so eager to get to the cottage, that I had already opened my door. What I had

just heard brought me back into the room. As a matter of course, we both suspected the same person of

Gloody at once acknowledged that we had no proof. "I happened to look at the boat," he said, "and I missed

I left Gloody to wait my return; being careful to place him under the protection of the upper servantswho

On the way to Toller's cottage, my fears for Cristel weighed heavily on my mind.

That the man who had tried to poison me was capable of committing any other outrage, provided he saw a

prospect of escaping with impunity, no sane person could hesitate to conclude. But the cause of my alarm

After what I had myself seen, and what Gloody had told me, could I hope to match my penetration, or the

penetration of any person about me whom I could trust, against the fathomless cunning, the Satanic

wickedness, of the villain who was still an inmate with Cristel, under her father's roof?

I have spoken of his fathomless cunning, and his Satanic wickedness. The manner in which the crime had

been prepared and carried out would justify stronger expressions still. Such was the deliberate opinion of the

"Let us arrive at a just appreciation of the dangerous scoundrel whom we have to deal with," this gentleman

said. "His preliminary experiment with the dog; his resolution to make suspicion an impossibility, by

drinking from the same tea which he had made ready for you; his skilled preparation of an antidote, the color

of which might court appearances by imitating waterare there many poisoners clever enough to provide

themselves beforehand with such a defence as this? How are you to set the circumstances in their true light,

on your side? You may say that you threw out the calculations, on which he had relied for securing his own

safety, by drinking his second dose of the antidote while he was out of the room; and you can appeal to the

faintingfits from which you and he suffered on the same evening, as a proof that the action of the poison

was partially successful; in your case and in his, because you and he were insufficiently protected by half

doses only of the antidote. A bench of Jesuits would understand these refinements. A bench of British

magistrates would look at each other, and say: Where is the medical evidence? No, Mr. Roylake, we must

wait. You can't even turn him out of the cottage before he has had the customary notice to quit. The one thing

to take care ofin case some other suspicions of ours turn out to be well foundedis that our man shall not

give us the slip. One of my clerks, and one of your gamekeepers shall keep watch on his lodgings, turn and

turn about, till his time is up. Go where he may after that, he shall not escape us."

On reaching Toller's cottage, I was distressed (but hardly surprised) to hear that Cristel, exhausted after a

wakeful night, still kept her bed, in the hope of getting some sleep. I was so anxious to know if she was at

I followed himand saw Ponto watching on the mat outside her door. Did this indicate a wise distrust of the

Cur? "A guardian I can trust, sir," the old man whispered, "while I'm at the mill."

He looked into Cristel's room, and permitted me to look over his shoulder. My poor darling was peacefully

asleep. Judging by the miller's manner, which was as cool and composed as usual, I gathered that Cristel had

"Our deafdevil, Mr. Gerard, has done a thing this morning which puzzles me," he began; "and I should like

to hear what you think of it. For the first time since we have had him here, he has opened his door to a visitor.

Andwhat a surprise for you!it's the other devil with the hat and feather who got at my Cristy, and made

That this meeting would be only too likely to happen, in due course of time, I had never doubted. That it had

happened, now, confirmed me in my resolution to keep guard over Cristel at the cottage, till the Cur left it.

"She was just going to knock at our door, Mr. Gerard, when she happened to look up. There he was, airing

himself at his window as usual. Do you think she was too much staggered at the sight of him to speak? At

any rate, he got the start of her. "Wait till I come down," says heand there he was, almost as soon as he

said it. They went into his place together; and for best part of an hour they were in each other's company.

Every man has his failings; I don't deny that I'm a little inquisitive by nature. Between ourselves, I got under

the open window and listened. At a great disadvantage, I needn't tell you; for she was obliged to write what

she had to say. But he talked. I was too late for the cream of it; I only heard him wish her goodbye. 'If your

ladyship telegraphs this morning,' says he, 'when will the man come to me?' Now what do you say to that?"

"More than I have time to say now, Mr. Toller. Can you find me a messenger to take a note to Trimley

"Very well. Then I must take my own message. You will see me again, as soon as I can get back."

"Perhaps, you wish to have a look at the repairs?" he suggested in his most insinuating manner.

"I wish to see what her ladyship's telegram brings forth," I said; and mean to be here when 'the man' arrives."

My venerable tenant was delighted. "Turn him inside out, sir, and get at his secrets. I'll help you."

Returning to Trimley Deen, I ordered the ponychaise to be got ready, and a small portmanteau to be

packedspeaking in the hall. The sound of my voice brought Mrs. Roylake out of the morningroom. She

was followed by Lady Rachel. If I could only have heard their private conference, I should have seen the

"Gerard!" cried my stepmother, "what did I hear just now? You can't be going back to Germany!"

"Going to stay with some friends perhaps?" Lady Rachel suggested. "I wonder whether I know them?"

The ponychaise drew up at the door. This was another of the rare occasions in my life on which I acted

Nothing had happened at the cottage, during the interval of my absence. Clever as he was, old Toller had

never suspected that I should return to him (with luggage!) in the character of a selfinvited guest. His jaw

dropped, and his wicked little eyes appealed to the sky. Merciful Providence! what have I done to deserve

this? There, as I read him, was the thought in the miller's mind, expressed in my best English.

Mr. Toller forgot the respect due to the person who could stop the repairs at a moment's notice. He answered

But for the anxieties that oppressed me, I should have only perceived the humorous side of old Toller's

"Understand this," I said: "either you receive me civillyor you make up your mind to find a flourmill on

This had its effect. The miller's servility more than equalled his insolence. With profuse apologies, he offered

me his own bedroom. I preferred a large oldfashioned armchair which stood in a corner of the kitchen.

Listening in a state of profound bewildermentlonging to put inquisitive questions, and afraid to do

soToller silently appealed to my compassion. I had nothing to conceal; I mentioned my motive. Without

intending it, I had wounded him in one of his most tender places; the place occupied by his good opinion of

"Much obliged, Mr. Gerard. My girl is safe under my protection. Leave it to me, sirleave it to me."

I had just reminded old Toller of his age, and of the infirmities which age brings with it, when his

daughterpale and languid, with signs of recent tears in her eyesentered the kitchen. When I approached

her, she trembled and drew back; apparently designing to leave the room. Her father stopped her. "Mr. Gerard

has something to tell you," he said. "I'm off to the mill." He took up his hat, and left us.

Submitting sadly, she let me take her in my arms, and try to cheer her. But when I alluded to what I owed to

her admirable devotion and courage, she entreated me to be silent. "Don't bring it all back!" she cried,

shuddering at the remembrances which I had awakened, "Father said you had something to tell me. What is

I repeated (in language more gentle and more considerate) what I had already said to her father. She took my

hand, and kissed it gratefully. "You have your mother's face, and your mother's heart," she said; "you are

always good, you are never selfish. But it mustn't be. How can I let you suffer the discomfort of staying here?

She had both seen him and heard from him, on reaching home. "He opened that door," she told me, "and

threw on the floor one of the leaves out of his book. After doing that, he relieved me from the sight of him."

"Father has got it. I thought he was asleep in the armchair. He snatched it out of my hand. It isn't worth

She turned pale, nevertheless, when she replied in those terms. I could see that I was disturbing her, when I

asked if she remembered what the Cur had written. But our position was far too serious to be trifled with. "I

"He said, if any attempt was made to remove me out of his reach, after what had happened that evening, my

father would find him on the watch day and night, and would regret it to the end of his life. The wretch thinks

me cruel enough to have told my father of the horrors we went through! You know that he has dismissed his

"You were quite right. He is at my houseand I should like to keep him at Trimley Deen; but I am afraid he

She spoke earnestly; reminding me that I had thought it wrong to leave her father, at his age, without

"If an accident separated me from him," she went on, "he would be left alone in this wretched place."

"What accident are you thinking of?" I asked. "Is there something going on, Cristel, that I don't know of?"

"Can we tell what may or may not happen to us, in the time to come?" she asked abruptly. "I don't like to

think of my father being left without a creature to take care of him. Gloody is so good and so true; and they

"My dear, I have nothing half so good in view; and Gloody, I am sure, will think so too." I privately resolved

to insure a favorable reception for the poor fellow, by making him the miller's partner. Bank notes in Toller's

But I confess that Cristel's allusion to a possible accident rather oppressed my mind, situated as we were at

that time. What we talked of next has slipped from my memory. I only recollect that she made an excuse to

go back to her room, and that nothing I could say or do availed to restore her customary cheerfulness.

As the twilight was beginning to fade, we heard the sound of a carriage. The new man had arrived in a fly

from the station. Before bedtime, he made his appearance in the kitchen, to receive the domestic instructions

of which a stranger stood in need. A quiet man and a civil man: even my prejudiced examination could

discover nothing in him that looked suspicious. I saw a welltrained servantand I saw nothing more.

Old Toller made a last attempt to persuade me that it was not worth a gentleman's while to accept his

hospitality, and found me immovable. I was equally obstinate when Cristel asked leave to make up a bed for

With the purpose that I had in view, if I accepted her proposal I might as well have been at Trimley Deen.

Left alone, I placed the armchair and another chair for my feet, across the door of communication. That done,

I examined a little door behind the stairs (used I believe for domestic purposes) which opened on a narrow

pathway, running along the riverside of the house. It was properly locked. I have only to add that nothing

The next day showed no alteration for the better, in Cristel. She made an excuse when I proposed to take her

out with me for a walk. Her father's business kept him away from the cottage, and thus gave me many

opportunities of speaking to her in private. I was so uneasy, or so recklessI hardly know whichthat I no

longer left it to be merely inferred that I had resolved to propose marriage to her.

"My sweet girl, you are so wretched, and so unlike yourself, in this place, that I entreat you to leave it. Come

"Why do you call me, 'Mr Roylake'? Have I done anything to offend you? There seems to be some

"Cristel! Have I made some dreadful mistake? The truth! I want the truth! Do you love me?"

A low cry of misery burst from her. Was she mastered by love, or by despair? She threw herself on my

breast. I kissed her. She murmured, "Oh don't tempt me! Don't tempt me!" Again and again, I kissed her.

"Ah," I broke out, in the ecstasy of my sense of relief, "I know that you love me, now!"

With those horrible wordsput into her mouth, beyond all doubt by the woman who had interfered between

People who are unable to imagine what I suffered, are not the people to whom I now address myself. After all

the years that have passedafter age and contact with the world have hardened meit is still a trial to my

selfcontrol to look back to that day. Events I can remember with composure. To events, therefore, let me

No communication of any sort reached us from the Cur. Towards evening, I saw him pacing up and down on

the road before the cottage, and speaking to his new servant. The man (listening attentively) had the master's

book of leaves in his hand, and wrote in it from time to time as replies were wanted from him. He was

probably receiving instructions. The Cur's discretion was a bad sign. I should have felt more at ease, if he had

Towards bedtime, old Toller's sense of hospitality exhibited marked improvement. He was honored and

happy to have me under his poor roofa roof, by the way, which was also in need of repairsbut he

protested against my encountering the needless hardship of sleeping in a chair, when a bed could be set up for

me in the countinghouse. "Not what you're used to, Mr. Gerard. Empty barrels, and samples of flour, and

accountbooks smelling strong of leather, instead of velvet curtains and painted ceilings; but better than a

Feverish, anxious, oppressed in my breathingwith nerves unstrung, as a doctor would have put itI

disturbed the order of the household towards twelve o'clock by interfering with old Toller in the act of

"Let me get a breath of fresh air," I said to him, "or there will be no sleep for me tonight."

He opened the door with a resignation to circumstances, so exemplary that it claimed some return. I promised

to be back in a quarter of an hour. Old Toller stifled a yawn. "I call that truly considerate," he saidand

Stepping into the road, I first examined the Cur's part of the cottage. Not a sound was audible inside; not a

creature was visible outside. The usual dim light was burning behind the window that looked out on the road.

I walked on, by what we called the upper bank of the river; leading from the village of Kylam. The night was

cloudy and close. Now the moonlight reached the earth at intervals; now again it was veiled in darkness. The

trees, at this part of the wood, so encroached on the bank of the stream as considerably to narrow and darken

the path. Seeing a possibility of walking into the river if I went on much farther, I turned back again in the

more open direction of Kylam, and kept on briskly (as I reckon) for about five minutes more.

I had just stopped to look at my watch, when I saw something dark floating towards me, urged by the slow

It was one of the dark intervals when the moon was overcast. I was sufficiently interested to follow the boat,

on the chance that a return of the moonlight might show me who could possibly be in it. After no very long

interval, the yellow light for which I was waiting poured through the lifting clouds.

The millboat, beyond all doubtand nobody in it! The empty inside of the boat was perfectly visible to me.

Even if I had felt inclined to do so, it would have been useless to jump into the water and swim to the boat.

There were no oars in it, and therefore no means of taking it back to the mill. The one thing I could do was to

On my way to the cottage, I thought I heard a sound like the shutting of a door. I was probably mistaken. In

expectation of my return, the door was secured by the latch only; and the miller, looking out of his bedroom

I followed my instructions, and ascended the stairs. Surprised to hear me in that part of the house, he came

"Nothing very serious," I said. "The boat's adrift. I suppose it will run on shore somewhere."

"It will do that, Mr. Gerard; everybody along the river knows the boat." He held up his lean trembling hand.

He went back into his bed. It was opposite the window; and the window, being at the side of the old cottage,

looked out on the great open space above the river. When the moonlight appeared, it shone straight into his

"Thank you kindly, sir; please to let it be. I wake often in the night, and I like to see the heavens when I open

Something touched me behind: it was the dog. Like his noble and beautiful race, Ponto knew his friends. He

licked my hand, and then he walked out through the bedroom door. Instead of taking his usual place, on the

mat before Cristel's room, he smelt for a moment under the doorwhined softlyand walked up and down

"Restless tonight," said old Toller. "Dogs are restless sometimes. Lie down!" he called through the doorway.

The dog obeyed, but only for a moment. He whined at the door againand then, once more, he walked up

I went to the bedside. The old man was just going to sleep. I shook him by the shoulder.

I knocked at the door myself. There was no reply. I knocked again, with the same result.

Standing helpless on the threshold of the door, I looked into the empty room; hearing nothing but my heart

thumping heavily, seeing nothing but the bed with the clothes on it undisturbed.

The sudden growling of the dog shook me back (if I may say so) into the possession of myself. He was

looking through the balusters that guarded the landing. The head of a man appeared, slowly ascending the

stairs. Acting mechanically, I held the dog back. Thinking mechanically, I waited for the man. The face of the

new servant showed itself. The dog frightened him: he spoke in tones that trembled, standing still on the

A voice below interrupted him. "Come back," I heard the Cur say; "I'll do it myself. Toller! where is Toller?"

The enraged dog, barking furiously, struggled to get away from me. I dragged himthe good honest creature

who was incapable of concealments and treacheries!into his master's room. In the moment before I closed

the door again, I saw Toller down on his knees with his arms laid helplessly on the windowsill, staring up at

the sky as if he had gone mad. There was no time for questions; I drove poor Ponto back into the room, and

I lifted my hand. The servant ran between us. "For God's sake, control yourself, sir! We mean no harm. It's

"Mr. Toller knows it already," I said. "No honest man would touch your master if he could help it. I warn him

to go; and I make him understand me by a sign." I pointed down the stairs, and turned my head to look at

He was no longer before me. His face, hideously distorted by rage and terror, showed itself at the door of

Cristel's empty room. He rushed out on me; his voice rose to the detestable screech which I had heard once

"Where have you hidden her? Give her back to meor you die." He drew a pistol out of the breastpocket of

his coat. I seized the weapon by the barrel, and snatched it away from him. As the charge exploded

harmlessly between us, I struck him on the head with the buttend of the pistol. He dropped on the landing.

The door of Toller's room opened behind me. He stood speechless; the report of the pistol had terrified him.

In the instant when I looked at the old man, I saw, through the window of his room, a rocket soar into the sky,

Some cry of surprise must, I suppose, have escaped me. Toller suddenly looked round towards the window,

just as the last fiery particles of the rocket were floating slowly downwards against the black clouds.

I had barely time enough to see this, before a trembling hand was laid on my shoulder, from behind. The

The same question must have been in the mind of the dog. He was quiet now. Doubtfully, reluctantly, he was

smelling at the prostrate human creature. I knelt down, and put my hand on the wretch's heart. Ponto, finding

us both on a level together, gave me the dog's kiss; I returned the caress with my free hand. The servant saw

"Damn it, sir," he burst out indignantly, "isn't a Christian of more importance than a dog?"

A Christian!but I was in no humor to waste words. "Are you strong enough to carry him to his own side of

All this time my mind was preoccupied by the extraordinary appearance of the rocket, rising from the

neighborhood of a lonely little village between midnight and one in the morning. How I connected that

mysterious signal with a possibility of tracing Cristel, it is useless to inquire. That was the thought in me,

when I led my lost darling's father back to his room. Without stopping to explain myself, I reminded him that

In the kitchen, I overtook the servant and his burden. The door of communication (by which they had

"Lock it yourself" he answered; "I'll have nothing to do with this business." He passed through the doorway,

It struck me directly that the man had suggested a sure way of protecting Toller, during my absence. The

miller's own door was already secured; I took the key, so as to be able to let myself in againthen passed

through the door of communicationfastened itand put the key in my pocket. The third door, by which

the Cur entered his lodgings, was of course at my disposal. I had just closed it, when I discovered that I had a

I felt at once that the dog's superior powers of divination might be of use, on such an errand as mine was. We

Wildly hurriedwithout any fixed idea in my mindI ran to Kylam, for the greater part of the way. It was

now very dark. On a sandy creek, below the village, I came in contact with something solid enough to hurt

A smoker generally has matches about him. Helped by my little shortlived lights, I examined the interior of

the boat. There was absolutely nothing in it but a strip of old tarpaulinused, as I guessed, to protect the

The village population had long since been in bed. Silence and darkness mercilessly defied me to discover

anything. For a while I waited, encouraging the dog to circle round me and exercise his sense of smell. Any

suspicious person or object he would have certainly discovered. Nothingnot even the fallen stick of the

rocketrewarded our patience. Determined to leave nothing untried, I groped, rather than found, my way to

the village ale house, and succeeded at last in rousing the landlord. He hailed me from the window (naturally

enough) in no friendly voice. I called out my name. Within my own little limits, it was the name of a

celebrated person. The landlord opened his door directly; eager to answer my questions if he could do it.

Nothing in the least out of the common way had happened at Kylam. No strangers had been seen in, or near,

the place. The stranded boat had not been discovered; and the crashing flight of the rocket into the air had

On my melancholy way back, fatigue of bodyand, far worse, fatigue of mindforced me to take a few

The dimlyflowing river was at my feet; the river on which I had seen Cristel again, for the first time since

we were children. Thus far, the dreadful loss of her had been a calamity, held away from me in some degree

by events which had imperatively taken possession of my mind. In the darkness and the stillness, the misery

of having lost her was free to crush me. My head dropped on the neck of the dog, nestling close at my side.

"Oh, Ponto!" I said to him, "she's gone!" Nobody could see me; nobody could despise meI burst out

Twice, I looked into Toller's room during the remainder of the night, and found him sleeping. When the sun

"You must be the last person who saw Cristel," I answered. "I want to know all that you can tell me."

"It's you twoyou my landlord, and him my lodgerwho have driven Cristy away from her home. She said

she would go, and she has gone. Get out of my place, sir! You ought to be ashamed to look at me."

It was useless to reason with him, and it was of vital importance to lose no time in instituting a search. After

the reception I had met with, I took care to restore the key of the door leading into the new cottage, before I

left him. It was his key; and the poor distracted old man might charge me with taking away his property next.

His first words showed that he was acting under orders. He asked if I had found the young lady; and he next

informed me that his master had revived some hours since, and "bore no malice." This outrageous assertion

suddenly fired me with suspicion. I believed that the Cur had been acting a part when he threatened me with

his pistol, and that he was answerable for the disappearance of Cristel. My first impulse now was to get the

The men at my stables were just stirring when I got home. In ten minutes more, I was driving to our town.

The substance of the professional opinion which I received has been already stated in these pages.

One among my answers to the many questions which my legal adviser put to me led him to a conclusion that

made my heart ache. He was of opinion that my brief absence, while I was taking that fatal "breath of air" on

the banks of the river, had offered to Cristel her opportunity of getting away without discovery. "Her old

father," the lawyer said, "was no doubt in his bed, and you yourself found nobody watching, in the

"Employ me in some way!" I burst out. "I can't endure my life, if I'm not helping to trace Cristel."

He was most kind. "I understand," he said. "Try what you can get those two ladies to tell youand you may

Mrs. Roylake was nearest to me. I appealed to her womanly sympathies, and was answered by tears. I made

another attempt; I said I was willing to believe that she meant well, and that I should be sorry to offend her.

She was at home, but the servant returned to me with an excuse: her ladyship was particularly engaged. I sent

a message upstairs, asking when I might hope to be received. The servant was charged with the delivery of

another excuse: her ladyship would write. After waiting at home for hours I was foolish enough to write, on

my side; and (how could I help it?) to express myself strongly. The shesocialist's reply is easy to remember:

"Dear Mr. Roylake, when you have recovered your temper, you will hear from me again."

To rest, and do nothing, was to exercise a control over myself of which I was perfectly incapable. I went back

to the cottage. Having no hopeful prospect in any other quarter, I persisted in believing that Toller must have

seen something or heard something that might either help me, or suggest an idea to my legal adviser.

On entering the kitchen, I found the door of communication wide open, and the new servant established in the

He had got over his fright, and had recovered his temper. The respectful side of him was turned to me again.

What I felt, amply justified the lawyer in having exacted a promise from me to keep carefully out of the Cur's

presence. "You might knock him on the head again, Mr. Roylake, and might hit a little too hard next time."

But I had an idea of my own. I said, as if speaking to myself: "I would give a five pound note to know what is

"I shall be glad to earn it, sir," the fellow said. "If I make a clean breast of what I know already, and if I tell

I began to feel degraded in my own estimation. But I nodded to him, for all that.

"I am the innocent cause, sir, of what happened last night," he coolly resumed. "We kept a lookout on the

road and saw you, though you didn't see us. But my master never suspected you (for reasons which he kept to

himself) of making use of the boat. I reminded him that one of us had better have an eye on the slip of

pathway, between the cottage and the river. This led to his sending me to the boathouseand you know what

happened afterwards. My master, as I suppose, is pumping Mr. Toller. That's all, sir, for tonight. When may

As I entered the wood again, I found a man on the watch. He touched his hat, and said: "I'm the clerk, sir.

Your gamekeeper is wanted for his own duties tonight; he will relieve me in the morning."

I went home with my mind in a ferment of doubt. If I could believe the servant, the Cur was as innocent of

The events of the next morning altered the whole complexion of affairs fatally for the worse.

Arriving at the cottage, I found a man prostate on the road, dead drunkand the Cur's servant looking at

"Bad news, in that case, sir. Your man there is a drunken vagabond; and my master has gone to London by

When I had recovered the shock, I denied, for the sake of my own credit, that the brute on the road could be a

"Do you think I should have been kept in ignorance of it, if my gamekeeper had been a drunkard? His fellow

The man smiled. "I'm afraid, sir, you don't know much about servants. It's a point of honor among us never to

I began to wish that I had never left Germany. The one course to take now was to tell the lawyer what had

happened. I turned away to get back, and drive at once to the town. The servant remembered, what I had

The report informed me: First, that Mr. Toller was at the mill, and had been there for some time past.

Secondly: that the Cur had been alone, for a while, on Mr. Toller's side of the cottage, in Mr. Toiler's

absencefor what purpose his servant had not discovered. Thirdly: that the Cur had returned to his room in a

hurry, and had packed a few things in his travellingbag. Fourthly: that he had ordered the servant to follow,

with his luggage, in a fly which he would send from the railway station, and to wait at the London terminus

for further orders. Fifthly, and lastly: that it was impossible to say whether the drunkenness of the

gamekeeper was due to his own habits, or to temptation privately offered by the very person whose

I paid the money. The man pocketed it, and paid me a compliment in return: "I wish I was your servant, sir."

My lawyer took a serious view of the disaster that had overtaken us. He would trust nobody but his head clerk

to act in my interests, after the servant had been followed to the London terminus, and when it became a

question of matching ourselves against the deadly cunning of the man who had escaped us.

Provided with money, and with a letter to the police authorities in London, the head clerk went to the station.

I accompanied him to point out the servant (without being allowed to show myself), and then returned to wait

The Cur had been found waiting for his servant at the terminus; and the two had been easily followed to the

railway hotel close by. The clerk had sent his letter of introduction to the policehad consulted with picked

men who joined him at the hotelhad given the necessary instructionsand would return to us by the last

Our man had been traced to the Thames Yacht Club in Albemarle Streethad consulted a yachting list in the

halland had then travelled to the Isle of Wight. There, he had made inquiries at the Squadron Yacht Club,

The third telegram announced the utter destruction of all our hopes. As far as Marseilles, the Cur had been

followed successfully, and in that city the detective officers had lost sight of him.

My legal adviser insisted on having the men sent to him to explain themselves. Nothing came of it but one

more repetition of an old discovery. When the detective police force encounters intelligence instead of

There were still two persons at our disposal. Lady Rachel might help us, as I believed, if she chose to do it.

As for old Toller, I suggested (on reflection) that the lawyer should examine him. The lawyer declined to

waste any more of my money. I called again on Lady Rachel. This time, I was let in. I found the noble lady

"This is going to be a disagreeable interview," she said. "Let us get it over, Mr. Roylake, as soon as possible.

Tell me what you wantand speak as freely as if you were in the company of a man."

"Yes; I did have a talk, in your best interests, with Miss Toller. She is as sensible as she is charming, and as

good as she is sensible. We entirely agreed that the sacrifice must be on her side; and that it was due to her

own selfrespect to prevent a gentleman of your rank from ruining himself by marrying a miller's daughter."

The next reply was equally free from the smallest atom of sympathy on Lady Rachel's part.

"You are quite rightyour deaf man was at his window when I went by. We recognized each other and had a

long talk. If I remember correctly, he said you knew of his reasons for concealing his name. I gave my

promise (being a matter of perfect indifference to me) to conceal it too. One thing led to another, and I

discovered that you were his hated rival in the affections of Miss Toller. I proved worthy of his confidence in

me. That is to say, I told him that Mrs. Roylake and I would be only too glad, as representing your interests,

if he succeeded in winning the young lady. I asked if he had any plans. He said one of his plans had failed.

What it was, and how it had failed, he did not mention. I asked if he could devise nothing else. He said, "Yes,

if I was not a poor man." In my place, you would have offered, as I did, to find the money if the plan was

approved of. He produced some manuscript story of an abduction of a lady, which he had written to amuse

himself. The point of it was that the lover successfully carried away the lady, by means of a boat, while the

furious father's attention was absorbed in watching the high road. It seemed to me to be a new idea. "If you

think you can carry it out," I said, "send your estimate of expenses to me and Mrs. Roylake, and we will

subscribe." We received the estimate. But the plan has failed, and the man is off. I am quite certain myself

that Miss Toller has done what she promised to do. Wherever she may be now, she has sacrificed herself for

your sake. When you have got over it, you will marry my sister. I wish you good morning."

Between Lady Rachel's hard insolence, and Mrs. Roylake's sentimental hypocrisy, I was in such a state of

irritation that I left Trimley Deen the next morning, to find forgetfulness, as I rashly supposed, in the gay

I had been trying my experiment for something like three weeks, and was beginning to get heartily weary of

"Dear Sir,Your odd tenant, old Mr. Toller, has died suddenly of rupture of a bloodvessel on the brain, as

the doctor thinks. There is to be an inquest, as I need hardly tell you. What do you say to having the report of

the proceedings largely copied in the newspapers? If it catches his daughter's eye, important results may

To speculate in this way on the impulse which might take its rise in my poor girl's griefto surprise her, as it

were, at her father's graverevolted me. I directed the lawyer to take no steps whatever in the matter, and to

pay the poor old fellow's funeral expenses, on my account. He had died intestate. The law took care of his

money until his daughter appeared; and the mill, being my property, I gave to Toller's surviving partnerour

And what did I do next? I went away travelling; one of the wretchedest men who ever carried his misery with

him to foreign countries. Go where I might on the continent of Europe, the dreadful idea pursued me that

Three weary months had passed, when a new idea was put into my head by an Englishman whom I met at

Trieste. He advised turning my back on Europe, and trying the effect of scenes of life that would be new to

me. I hired a vessel, and sailed out of the civilized world. When I next stood on terra firma, my feet were on

What I suffered I have not told yet, and do not design to tell. The bitterness of those days hid itself from view

at the timeand shall keep its concealment still. Even if I could dwell on my sorrows with the eloquence of

a practised writer, some obstinate inner reluctance would persist in holding me dumb.

More than a year had passed before I returned to Trimley Deen, and alarmed my stepmother by "looking like

The irregular nature of my later travels had made it impossible to forward the few letters that had arrived for

The second letter that I took up bore the postmark of Genoa. I opened it, and discovered that the

No! I cannot write of him by that mean name; and his own name is still unknown to me. Let me call

The letter had been addressed to me from his deathbed, and had been written under dictation. It contained an

"Read the poor morsel that I send to you first" (the letter began). "My time on earth is short; you will save me

". . . cruise to the Mediterranean for my wife's health. If Cristel isn't afraid of passing some months at sea. . ."

". . . thoroughly understand. All ready. Write word what night, and what ... loving brother, Stephen Toller."

I instantly remembered the miller's rich brother; thinking of him for the first time since he had been in my

mind for a moment, on the night of my meeting with Cristel. On the fourteenth page of this narrative Toller's

"That bit of torn paper I found under the bed, while I was secretly searching Mr. Toller's room. I had

previously suspected You. From my own examination of his face, when he refused to humor my deafness by

writing what I asked him to tell me, I suspected Mr. Toller next. You will see in the fragment, what I

sawthat Toller the brother had a yacht, and was going to the Mediterranean; and that Toller the miller had

written, asking him to favour Cristel's escape. The rest, Cristel herself can tell you.

"I know you had me followed. At Marseilles, I got tired of it, and gave your men the slip. At every port in the

Mediterranean I inquired for the yacht, and heard nothing of her. They must have changed their minds on

"Arrived at Genoa, on my way back to England, I met with a skilled Italian surgeon. He declared that he

could restore my hearingbut he warned me that I was in a weak state of health, and he refused to answer

for the result of the operation. Without hesitating for a moment, I told him to operate. I would have given

fifty lives for one exquisite week of perfect hearing. I have had three weeks of perfect hearing. Otherwise, I

"It is useless to ask your pardon. My conduct was too infamous for that. Will you remember the family taint,

developed by a deaf man's isolation among his fellowcreatures? But I had some days when my mother's

sweet nature tried to make itself felt in me, and did not wholly fail. I am going to my mother now: her spirit

has been with me ever since my hearing was restored; her spirit said to me last night: "Atone, my son! Give

the man whom you have wronged, the woman whom he loves." I had found out the uncle's address in

England (which I now enclose) at one of the Yacht Clubs. I had intended to go to the house, and welcome her

on her return. You must go instead of me; you will see that lovely face when I am in my grave. Goodbye,

Roylake. The cold hand that touches us all, sooner or later, is very near to me. Be merciful to the next

I say there was good in that suffering man; and I thank God I was not quite wrong about him after all.

Arriving at Mr. Stephen Toller's country seat, by the earliest train that would take me there, I found a last trial

of endurance in store for me. Cristel was away with her uncle, visiting some friends.

Cristel's aunt received me with kindness which I can never forget. "We have noticed lately that Cristel was in

depressed spirits; no uncommon thing," Mrs. Stephen Toller continued, looking at me with a gentle smile,

"since a parting which I know you must have felt deeply too. No, Mr. Roylake, she is not engaged to be

marriedand she will never be married, unless you forgive her. Ah, you forgive her because you love her!

She thought of writing to tell you her motives, when she visited her father's grave on our return to England.

I knew how Lady Rachel's interference had appealed to Cristel's sense of duty and sense of selfrespect; I

had heard from her own lips that she distrusted herself, if she allowed me to press her. But she had

successfully concealed from me the terror with which she regarded her rejected lover, and the influence over

her which her father had exercised. Always mindful of his own interests, the miller knew that he would be the

person blamed if he allowed his daughter to marry me. "They will say I did it, with an eye to my

soninlaw's money; and gentlefolks may ruin a man who lives by selling flour." That was how he expressed

After alluding to his wealthy brother's desire that he should retire from business, the miller continued as

"What you are ready to do for me, I want you to do for Cristy. She is in danger, in more ways than one, and I

am obliged to get her away from my house as if I was a smuggler, and my girl contraband goods. I am a bad

hand at writing, so I leave Cristy to tell you the particulars. Will you receive her, brother Stephen? and take

Mr. Stephen Toller's cordial reply mentioned that his vessel was ready to sail, and would pass the mouth of

The Loke on her southward voyage. His brother caught at the idea thus suggested.

I have alluded to Giles Toller's sly look to his lodger, when I returned the manuscript of the confession. The

old man's unscrupulous curiosity had already applied a second key to the cupboard in the lodger's room.

There he had found the "criminal stories" mentioned in the journalincluding the story of abduction referred

to by Lady Rachel. This gave him the very idea which his lodger had already relied on for carrying Cristel

away by the river (under the influence, of course, of a soporific drug), while her father was keeping watch on

the road. The secreting of the oars with this purpose in view, had failed as a measure of security. The miller's

knowledge of the stream, and his daughter's ready courage, had suggested the idea of letting the boat drift,

with Cristel hidden in it. Two of the yacht's crew, hidden among the trees, watched the progress of the boat

until it rounded the promontory, and struck the shore. There, the yacht's boat was waiting. The rocket was

fired to reassure her father; and Cristel was rowed to the mouth of the river, and safely received on board

the yacht. Thus (with his good brother's help) the miller had made the River his Guilty accomplice in the

"To save time," Mrs. Stephen Toller said, "I will write to my husband today, by a mounted messenger. He

shall only tell Cristel that you have come back to England, and you shall arrange to meet her in our grounds

when she returns. I am a childless woman, Mr. Roylakeand I love her as I should have loved a daughter of

my own. Where improvement (in external matters only) has seemed to be possible, it has been my delight to

improve her. Your stepmother and Lady Rachel will acknowledge, even from their point of view, that there is

When Cristel returned the next day, she found that her uncle had deserted her, and suddenly discovered a man

in the shrubbery. What that man said and did, and what the result of it was, may be inferred if I relate a

remarkable event. Mrs. Roylake has retired from the domestic superintendence of Trimley Deen.