THE AVENGER'S HANDBOOK
Edited by Paal D. Ekran, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no.
Version 1.1 -- I take no responsibility for actions performed, as in this script. Some of them are strictly illegal, and I suggest that you do not do them. Look at this script as a source of inspiration and amusement.

#01 MAIL BURST. By Paal D. Ekran and Dale Worley. Perhaps a bit childish way of revenge, but works well. Just wait until you get one of those commercial catalogues with hundreds of rip-out order forms. Write down the name and address of the person you want to have fun with, and send in the order form. -- Here is the American version: Go to a library with many technical or trade publications. Pull out all the free reply cards, bingo cards, etc. Now ask for information on everything. (Well, don't circle more than 10 numbers on each bingo card.) With remarkably little work, you can collect hundreds of these cards. Fill them in with their real address and bogus company names. Dump them all in a mail box. With luck, they can be receiving a foot-high stack of mail every day!
#02 A STORE THEFT ALARM TRICK. By Jerry F. Tomko. I once visited a music store where all the tapes and CD's had little electronically detectable stickers on them. So, naturally, I removed the stickers and placed them sticky side up, on the floor. As people would walk by, the stickers would attach to their shoes. The clerk had security "pat down" a few customers before attributing the problem to "faulty equipment." I'm sure the problem cleared up once I left the store. :)
#03 NOISY SEAGULLS. By Paal D. Ekran. Let's say it's dark outside, and you want to play a prank on someone. You are living by a place where there are many birds. Yeah, let's feed the birds, in his garden. Just throw some bread into his garden at 3 o'clock in the night and let the birds to the rest. Variation: Try sprinkling the bread in alcohol.
#04 DEATH THREATS. By Paal D. Ekran. Get a newspaper, cut out some death notices out with killed persons, or persons who have died. Send them to the person with a letter telling how fun it was to kill the person (in the ad.). Variations: Try sending him a list with his name on, like a top 10 list with his name getting higher each time you send him a new death notice.. Things like this will be taken seriously. So, don't get caught.
#05 CONNECTING PEOPLE. By Paal D. Ekran. Put a notice in a contact magazine, or in a newsgroup (forge), telling that your victim want contact with other persons for sexual purpose. Tell them that he is S/M, gay or something. Ofcourse leave your name out of it.
#06 ORDERING PIZZA. By Paal D. Ekran and Brent Chivers. Call the local Pizza resturant or whatever and order them to bring out the food. Give them your victims address. Variations: Call the Police and tell that you have heard a shot gun at your victims place or that he is having a house party and you can't sleep due to all the noise. WARNING: The Police, and many take-out restaurants are using caller-ID, so it is suggested that you call from a phone-box.
#07 DISC DRIVE KILLER. By Paal D. Ekran. This is an amusing and destructive way of avenging. Just open a disc and replace the magnetic disc with some sand paper. Put the disc among the discs of the victim. Then when the victim gets the disc, he will put it into the drive and it will destroy the drive-head.
#08 FLOWER POWER. By Paal D. Ekran. Biological fighting is always cool. Get some seeds from some ugly weed and spread it all-over your victim's garden, or Spread some lime into your victim's garden. The grass will then slowly die.
#09 AUTOMATIC GARAGE DOOR OPENERS. By Thomas Gauldin and Paal D. Ekran. One of the tricks that works wonderfully involves houses with garage door openers. Sears and Chamberlain openers use DIP switches to set the code. The dips switches are on the back of the door openers and in plain sight. I (once knew a fellow- std. disclaimer) once had a neighbor who had really pissed me off Royally. I had occasion to once be in her garage to deliver a piece of mail that was left in my mailbox and noticed the Chamberlain door opener and the DIP switches on the rear. I noted the settings down and bought a spare transmitter at Sears for about $12. All I had to do was set the DIP switches to the same code and then I could operate the door. The neighbor had very regular habits and left for work at roughly the same time every day. All I did was wait and watch as the door rolled up. When the backup lights of their Accura came on, I merely pressed the down button and the door closed on their trunk lid, broke the rear glass and dented the roof. The folks stood around for about a half hour scratching their butts and trying to figure out what happened. The garage door was totaled also. -- If the garage door has an IR transmitter, then you simply get one of those IR transmitters with learn functions. Learn it the close and opening signal (visit your neighbour, when he is in the toilet, whatever). Now you only have to wait. #10 WAKE'EM UP. By Paal D. Ekran. Your victim has a telephone and it is far away from his/hers bed. Let's say he has an exam tomorrow and he must be ready to go early next morning. What you do then is simple call for a wake-up call with his number, about 05.00 AM should do fine, remember this is the best hour, especially if he has sleeping troubles..
#11 LATE LAWNMOVING. By Paal D. Ekran. If your victim has a lawn-mover standing in his garden you can sneak in at night and start it. The noise will probably wake him, and he'll wonder what the hell happened.
#12 REVENGE ON PC'S. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis. Paal> I rewrote the whole text to only contain the actions itself. When the victim is away, startup fdisk on his harddisc, now select 3, for delete dos partion. Now deleve every partion. The computer will ask you to press CTRL-ALT-DEL, but just press CTRL-C. In awhile the computer will crash and be totally fucked. All datas will be erased. When your victim is gone, start up a loud noisy game on his computer. This can be done in the lunch break when nobody is around, now everyone returns and sees the screen of eg. your boss, and it has a game on it. Install commercial software on your victims computer. Now call the company that has the license for the software and complain. This might cost a lot for the guy who're the victim. Make a directory like ALT+255 (the extended Alt keyboard char. set) this will make a blank space. Now do an XCOPY C:\ C:\"ALT+255"/s/e. this will fill up his hard drive so he won't be able to save anything. This is good as long as the asshole doesn't know much about DOS or doesn't use anything like Norton.
#13 WEDDING PRANKS. By Paal D. Ekran and Kevin Konowalec. Wedding pranks are cool. Now, try mixing some laxatives on the food, it should cause some chaos. Also try sleeping-power instead of laxatives. A friend of me came to me with this idea. He had once heard about a nurse who came over some stuff that made the pee green. She used in the drinks on a fellow she wanted to have some fun with. Some hours later they heard a roar and a guy came running in shouting: "Help, I am peeing green!" -- I believe the "stuff" that makes people piss green that you referred to is Bromothymol Blue (weak [base???] indicator -- nonpoisonous in relatively small doses)
#14 NASTY SMELLS. By Paal D. Ekran and Art. This is a very cool one. First you get some marten-bait, or something similar smelly thing. Personally I recommend marten-bait as it smells as bad as raw sewer. I did this trick last time I graduated from high-school. A fellow and I went over to the local college and went into a class room. We greeted the teacher and smashed a tube with marten-bait into the wash and ran away.... (I got a day expulsion from the school, due to my creativity :) You can spill this crap almost every where, use your imagination. -- Fox Urin. That's the stuff. Smells pretty bad from what I hear. Why don't you just take a bottle of the stuff and "spill" (totally by accident of course) some between the top of her car window and the door. Like I said, it was just an "accident". Maybe you could do this right before she is due to go on a date or to an important business meeting.
#15 SHAVING FOAM. By Chris Cantarine. Fill up a bag of shaving foam. Put the open end-part-way under someone's door (make sure the bag is open). Jump on the closed end of the bag. Also, put a dustpan under his door. Piss (or pour a jar of something) in it. That's cool.
#16 REVENGE ON A RASISTIC LANDLORD. By Pancho and DanD. Complain to the KKK or Aryan nation about the landlords. They're renting to all these goddamned (epithet)s in my neighborhood. Or you heard them talking about how Klansmen should be killed on sight. Be sure to give the home address and license plate numbers of their cars. Call all the utility companies, and have their bills diverted to "your" house. They're going on a long vacation and you want to pay their bills while they're gone. "Your" address is that of the Lost And Found at the Macy's in the next town. Sign them up with NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. This is sure to bring attention from the cops to the landlord if NAMBLA is ever raided by the cops in your town. Call up the militant black groups of your choice. Tell them you're thinking of joining. Invite some members to come over to talk to you. Give them the landlord's address. Make copies of the keys to their property which your friends rented, attach them to labelled key rings. Write "DOCTOR Susanna Wong, Geriartrics" on the labels, with the home address. Go to the worst part of town and "forget" the key rings at the phone booths where gang members gather. Give copies of the keys to homeless people, you're a good-hearted person, tell them they can sleep one night in the garage. They must be quiet when they come in. Some peaceful Sunday night, have someone call in a bomb threat at their residence. Swarm o' cops. Put linseed oil in a closed bottle by the window to rot. *Extremely* nasty. Splash their cars and homes with it. Call popular radio station talk shows. Start friendly, give out the landlord's name while no-one suspects anything. Repeat it a couple of times. Get the address in, if you can. Then accuse them of whatever you like. Slip it in slowly, so that the accusation's out before they can think to use their 7-second delay. You could accuse them of membership in NAMBLA. Lo and behold, their name turns up in NAMBLA's records. Write all their current tenants at all their properties, and even the neighbors surrounding those properties. "Did you know that the sick perverted landlord at this address has a porno flick business on the side? Did you know he sets aside one of the apartments (or houses) for the filming of these pictures? Do you want your kids exposed to these people in your neighborhood? NO FINGERPRINTS OR SALIVA ON YOUR LETTERS OR ENVELOPES, NOW! Make up a letter or a poster accusing these landlords of being the most active, violent, and effective Klansmen in your town. Print up a zillion of these. Go to a predominantly black area of town and dump these flyers over the fence of the local High School. You can *also* dump them at the projects. Include their home address, phone number, car description and license plates. Print up a flier describing how the (male) landlord just LOVES to get it up the butt. Loves phone sex. Please call me up. "I like nothing more than answering the phone, thinking it's just another boring call, and immediately hearing those rush-provoking words that remind me of what it's like to have a fat cock sliding in and out of my hungry butt. While my wife putters around, cleaning the house, I'll pretend it's an ordinary call as you *immediately* whisper your desires to me. If my wife answers, be sure and ask for me before you start. Only those who are especially salacious will be invited for a face-to-face and cock-to-butt meeting. Here's my number." Print up a zillion of these, go to the gay newspaper newsrack, and insert one inside each of the newspapers, in the "Personals" section. If you don't have a gay newspaper in your town, dump them over the fence at your local *Junior* High School. If the police investigate, the Junior High School crime and the fact that his name is on the poster will be public record. He will be interrogated. It will not be slander to talk about it. Therefore, call up the radio station again, and complain about him. Write his neighbors anonymously and complain about him also. "Watch out for your kids. This guy's a pervert". Tell the Junior High School story, and include one of the stained and worn-looking fliers. Make a tape of Vincent Price's laughter at the end of the Michael Jackson song "Thriller". Tape it over and over so it's one minute of laughter. After *each* of these incidents, call them up and play it. Real loud. -- Even better: send notices to all the tenants that rent is going up. (or down.) Make policy changes. Send some tenants notices they will be sued if they don't pay their rent which is past due. (Nothing like threatening people with legal action for something they did not do to get their blood boiling.) Have a couple of cars towed, claiming to be the property manager. (Most property managers who have cars towed post the phone number of whatever towing service they use, so it's no problem.) You get the idea. Terrorize the tenants MAKING THEM THINK YOU ARE THE LANDLORD. They will react in all SORTS of ways. Legal, physical, verbal, etc.
#17 FUN WITH THE TELEPHONE. By Davis Sweeney, Robert Bissett and Mark Loop. Here's an old standard that provided hours of enjoyment at my last job: when the coworker (victim) of your choice goes for his/her tenth cup of coffee, pick up his/her phone and tape down the little button that the receiver sits on. (Pardon the technical jargon.) When your sucker gets back with the coffee and yet another doughnut, give 'em a call. When they pick up the phone, they won't hear anything and the phone will still ring. You'd be amazed at how well this works. Of course, it never worked on me. Really. I swear. -- A lot simpler way to accomplish the same thing is with a small piece of clear (Scotch) tape. Place it neatly over the holes on the receiver. It will totally block out all audible sound and, if done nicely, is not normally detected by the dupe. -- Open up the receiver end and disconnect the wires to the speaker (it's rather simple to do). Then the victim will keep thinking that someone is prank-calling him. After a few times, maybe he'll even start yelling at innocent people who call, maybe like his boss?
#18 FUN WITH THE MOUSE. By John Owens. One prank that worked well at Sun was some clown who put a little yellow Post-It(TM) pad sheets on the bottom of everyone's mice. Sun mice have the laser firing out the bottom onto the mouse pad, so anyone who moved their mouse saw no action on the screen. An entire building was affected that April Fool's Day, I believe. Paal> Or maybe just remove the ball if it has one.
#19 DESTROYING RELATIONSHIPS. By Toby Lane. Get a girl to call up looking for this guy when the wife is home. When the wife says "He's not here, can I take a message?" get the girl to hang up. The younger and more nervous the girl sounds, the better this works. Leave used condoms in his car, his briefcase, the pockets of his coats, anywhere his wife is likely to find them (I have a good recipie for fake semen if you would like it, say if the real thing is not something you want to utilize) Get the wife paranoid. If she is looking for something, she'll find out what whats happening eventually. When that happens, you might encourage her by posting here every newspaper and magazine clipping on Lorena Bobbit you can find, you never know your luck. Paal> It helps if the relationship is already wiggling.
#20 SLINGSHOT. By Greg Banerian. In college we built a massive slingshot using surgical tubing, etc., and destroyed fair portions of our building with it. Build one for yourself and launch eggs, fresh dog turds, water balloons, etc., at their house in the middle of night.
#21 BIRD AND THE BEES. By Dale Gee. If you really wanted to be ugly, you could send a cash money order to one of these bee keeping supply houses and have a swarm of bees delivered to your victim. If you're really ambitious you could take the swarm to your victim personally. Those bees will follow where ever the queen goes. The queen comes in a cage attached to the outside of the box. Place the queen cage where you want it. Open the box and viola! I thought it would be real interesting to see someone's reaction to having a swarm of bees in their car, apartment etc. Well, I am sure the minds here can think of other uses for a swarm of bees.
#22 POSTER REVENGE. By Paal D. Ekran The main idea is to hang up posters which destroys the victims reputation, in the areas around where he lives. Just design the poster on the computer, print it out and then copy it (copying is probably most safest). Now run around in the night and hang up the posters. As for what to write on those posters, well, it all depends a lot on what area the guy is living in, what he is doing and how you want to hit him. If he is a principle or a teacher you could make a poster saying that he abused you in some way. Then just hang it up on the campus. If he is a owner of a store, and you are living in eg. US, you might write that he is a rascist. Simply hang up a poster on his store, saying that coloured people are not welcome, or maybe Germans and dogs are not welcome, it would cause some havoc. You could also just write that you bought one of his products and that it didn't work and you didn't get the money back. Just lie about it. Maybe hanging up a poster telling about his rascial outbreaks. Now you might think, what is the big deal with a poster, he can just rip it down. Well, I back in my young days. I were an active environmentalist, and we worked with some commies over here, and I remember one of them telling me how to set up a poster. Simply break some glass in a bucket. Crush it. Then add tapistry glue. The idea is to first glue some on the wall, then hang up the poster, then glue some over the poster, now when someone comes to rip it down they will back some hurting fingers, as glass tends to scratch. * extremely evil grin *
#23 SUGAR IN THE MORNING. By Kennan Ferguson. First, take off the bottom sheet of his/her bed. Put a sheet of plastic there; not so thick that it will rustle. Next, spread a thick layer of powdered sugar over the plastic; replace the sheet and return bed to its normal state. The beauty of this is the plastic that reflects body heat, making the sleeping victim sweaty. As he/she sweats, the sugar seeps up through the bed-sheet. Upon waking, the individual looks and feels like a glazed doughnut. This is not a friendly prank; sugar melt gets everywhere. #24 CREED BED. By Paal D. Ekran. When I was in navy, and a newboy was on leave, we used to sow creed in the man's bed. When the guy came back the whole bed was blooming.
#25 CALCULATOR TRICK. By Jay C. Box. This trick is not as easy to do as it once was, but either borrow or appropriate their calculator the day or night before they have an exam and open the case and carefully change the keytops around so that instead of: 7 8 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 you get instead: 4 5 6 like you see on telephones. 1 2 3 7 8 9 0 0 The idea is to be subtle so that they don't discover it early. You can change the mathmatical operators if you wish but I prefer less. Since the keyboard layout looks natural, most will assume that their calculator died! Unfortunately the calculator is not always constructed compatible with this trick anymore. Paal> This might also work on telephones and remote controls.
#26 ROAD KILL. By Wil Jamison. Another thing you can do is: get a fresh intact roadkill. Tie a length of rope securely around it. Tie the other end to your targets axel. Place the roadkill up on the axel so it balanced and out of sight. When your target drives off eventually the roadkill will fall off and start bouncing behind the car. Guaranteed to attract attention from other drivers, cops,etc.
#27 THE NEW/OLD BUCKET TRICK. By Unknown. My roommate and I have some very interesting means of revenge. First, take the clear window insulator, that can be found at most hardware stores, and put it over their door at night. The instructions tell you to use a hairdryer, but an iron on the low setting works. That's how we did it. If you're feeling particularly lucky, try coating the inner surface with Vaseline. Setting a can filled with water up against their door is rather nasty too. Lean it so that it falls over when they open the door.
#28 YOUNGSTERS PRANKS. By Morpheus, Donald E Quigley and Toby Lane. OK, here's one that I really enjoy, because it's a riot to watch, and no one gets hurt (except for their pride). You take a paper bag and fill it with, eh...animal defecation (that's dog turd -just making sure), and close the top of it with staples. You then soak it in gasoline and place it on the front stoop of an annoying neighbor, right under the door. Light the bag ablaze and ring the doorbell. RUN. If all goes right, this is what should happen. The person comes to the door and sees a small blazing bag on his stoop. What does he do? You guessed it. He stomps it out. The reaction is priceless. BTW If nobody answers the door, you still leave a nasty smell (ever small crap burning?) by the house and a wicked-looking mess on the stop. -- Try filling up one of those big, dirty (not necessarily empty) garbage cans in the dorm with water and leaning it up against their door. Then knock (and run like hell). -- Wait until they're gone out of the house, hook up their garden hose, push it through the paper slot on their front door, and turn it on. Or go into the house, turn all the taps on, and leave, locking the door behind you. If you can spray some filler at the bottom of the door to seal more of the water in, so much the better.
#29 VINEGAR IN THE WATER. By Morpheus. For all you Boy Scouts out there- on camping trips, when you little trekkers get REALLY thirsty and start chugging down the canteens, watch the reaction of the pain in the neck who SOMEHOW got vinegar in his. He won't forget it. Neither will you.
#30 SURANWRAP THE TOILET TOP. By Rob Peacock. Suranwrap is fun. You can also wrap it over the top of the toilet bowl and then put the seat down. Wait until some woman sits down to squirt!
#31 SWAPPING ROOMS. By Morpheus. Find another guy who's willing to agree with this. Then, simply switch the furniture in the rooms. When he comes home, and opens the door, he sees that he is no longer in "his" room. You can go on from there ("Hey! How the hell did you get our key? Who the hell ARE you, anyway?").
#32 ANTI-COMMERCIAL. By Paal D. Ekran. If you see a poster of a product you don't like, then you can easily change the effect of the commercial by writing some stuff. e.g., Last election here in Norway there was a poster with a person saying: (Translated) "The most important voter has no right to vote", the person was holding a child. Then someone had written "lucky for you!" from the baby. Another example "Welcome back" -- on a poster outside a gas station, I just could resist, so I wrote "and don't forget your money."
#33 MAILBOX LOCK. By Scott Adams. Neighbor X is beginning to get on your nerves for whatever reason. You want to repay him, but nothing that does much damages. Here's an idea: You know how most mailboxes have a hole in the latch? Why not go down to a hardware store and pick up a lock? Lock the mailbox closed. The expression is priceless. For more fun, you can: Pour honey in the inside, attracting many ants. Epoxy the flag up (if you have a bad mailman, do this to every house nearby.) Fill it with cement.
#34 CABEL TV. By Scott Adams, Paal D. Ekran and C. H. Lund. Suppose you live in an area equipped with cable. If you have ever looked at those boxes, you'll know that they generally fine you pretty badly for messing with the boxes. Open one up, and unhook wires, flip switches, do whatever seems good. Then, close the box again, and wait. They won't get the TV to work, will call the cable company, and get a nice fine. -- Another cool thing to do is to find where the cable is dug down, then dig it up, cut it, use some black tape to cover the cutting. Now the cable company will have real hard time finding the error. Remember timing is essential, cut the cable just before the Olympics or some-other championship. -- Here's a variant I learned in the army: Instead of cutting the cable when you dig it up, stick a pin/needle into it and cut off both ends (with a wire cutter or like), thus leaving a piece of metal in the cable. This is garanteed to ruin the cable, and it's (almost) impossible to find the section of cable ruined by the presence of the pin. The entire cable will have to be replaced.
#35 MAILBOX PROTECTION. By June Peckingham, Ben A. Ostrowsky and Dale Gee. For anyone that has ever had their mailbox knocked off by a silly prankster driving along in his car with a baseball bat, here's a suggestion for revenge: Buy a big mailbox and a little mailbox. Put the small mailbox inside the big one, and fill the space between with cement. You will still get your mail delivered but if anyone attempts to bash your box, they will break their arm and their habit for mailbox baseball. :} -- Here's another, which works particularly well against nocturnal dweebs. Drive a heavy pipe into the ground, next to your mailbox. Make sure it reaches as high as the top of your mailbox. Paint it black. Wait. For weeks, our nights had been punctuated with the occasional "vrrrmmm... THWACK!" as local community-college guys accelerated to about 40 mph. That night, we heard: "Vrrrmmm... CLANG!" "OW!" "Shit, man, back up! I dropped the bat!" "No way." "Vrrrmmm..." We laughed for ten minutes straight and got a slightly used aluminum bat out of the deal. The culprit, I'm sure, got a visit to the hospital. -- My uncle had a problem a snow plow driver who couldn't tell the difference between the road and his mailbox. After a winter of complaining to the county about his mail box getting flatten he took matters in his own hands. He went down the scrap yard. Bought a 6 foot (2 meter) length of I Beam. The kind they use in construction. Set the thing in concrete. The first good snow the snow plow comes along and all you heard was a loud thud. The county complained but there was nothing they could. Uncle never lost another mailbox. Couple kids try to run it down one night and received the same results. Except they needed a tow truck to take the care home.
#36 STOPING THE GAS SUPPLY. By Karl Anders #ygard. A friend of mine from California had this guy who was bothering the hell out of him, so he decided to play a him a trick. When moving he'd noticed that all you have to do to cut of the gas, is call the gas company -- no id required, and it's turned off promptly. One Friday afternoon he made some calls, impersonating the aforementioned lucky fellow, and had them turn off the telephone, electricity, gas and water. Needless to say, a certain guy was in for a nice calm weekend. Even better: the electricity companies charge you $20 to put the electricity back on...
#37 CANCELING THE EXAMS. By Karl Anders #ygard. We have something of the same here at campus; if you need to sign off some exams, you skip down to the student's office and tell them; point is, you don't need any kind of id, so you could just as easily sign all your friends and enemies off as well. You'll have to know which exams they are signed up for, but with a little effort this should pose no real problem. Paal> I know for sure that this won't work here at the University of Paal> Tromsoe. When I was canceling a math course they were asking for Paal> both social no. and identification. Still you could try it, but Paal> remember that it's a fellow student who actually loses maybe half Paal> a year, and I guarantee there will be trouble.
#38 A VANISHING ROOM. By Gordon Prioreschi. One of the "classic" pranks where I went to school: when some dorm-dweller left for vacation, his dorm-mates got some drywall, speckle, paint, etc., covered his door, and painted it to match the rest of the hall. Really neat, tidy job -- you couldn't tell that there had been a door there. They even went so far as to move a light fixture onto the new "wall" to confuse the guy. When he came back from vacation, they all pretended not to know him -- and his room had "disappeared." He eventually got a hammer and started flailing at the wall. Finding his door took a while due to the light fixture. Meanwhile, the others called Security: "There's some strange guy beating on the walls with a hammer..."
#39 REVENGEING NOISY PARTY BOOMERS. By Paal D. Ekran. Very well, here is my latest invention, and a rather nasty one it is: I was at a party where there was two guys who were making much noise, when they finally got asleep, then we gathered forces and kindly stripped the clothes of the guys and placed them into a bed, now we were brushing their ass with a toothbrush. (How nasty can it get?). Next morning they woke up bare naked, accompanied by each other and a sore ass.. We never heard more about it...
#40 EMAIL FORGERY. By anonymous and Paal D. Ekran. Telnet to port 25 of your local machine. Try: telnet [host] 25 And then type help. It should show you something like: 214-Commands: 214- HELO MAIL RCPT DATA RSET 214- NOOP QUIT HELP VRFY EXPN 214-For more info use "HELP ". 214-smtp 214-To report bugs in the implementation contact Sun Microsystems 214-Technical Support. 214-For local information contact postmaster at this site. 214 End of HELP info >From there you type: mail from: root [return] Then type: rcpt to: (email address of your victim) [return] And then type: data [return] And then type what ever you want sent from root at your site to him, and end it with a "." on a line by it's self. And then type quit. And you have just done a very basic forging of mail from your administrator to him. WARNING: I believe doing this is illegal in the US, I'm not sure about other countries, though... -- If you write HELO [email address] then you can forge something from wherever you want.. Eg. helo president@whitehouse.gov, you could also use their host. The path would look more believeable then. WARNING!! This is strictly illegal. If your victim ask your sysadmin, and he starts to look into it, then you're going to be discovered for sure. Everything what you do on your system is probably audit filed, iow, they can trace back and see who did it. Even if you telnet to a foreign host, they will be able to trace it. Althou' they then have to do it through those foreign sysadms. Be careful, people has lost their account on less than this.
#41 CRAPPY TOILET REVENGE. By Paal D. Ekran Just put all the toilet-paper in the toilet, take a shit, then add some water. It's really easy, and real disgusting. If you want to become utterly tasteless you would just shit in a lamp (You know that in the roof, which you can unscrew [where the heck is my dictionary]) then reinstall it. The light-bulb will create heat that makes the shit vapor and it will smell real bad.
#42 DOOR KILLERS. By Kelton E. Ryan, Oleg, Lyvo and Andrew Barg. I read somewhere that it can be very effective to stick toothpicks into somebody's car door lock and break them off. Apparently this cannot be repaired without great difficulty, the victim will have to take his car in and probably pay a few bucks to get it fixed. -- Try dropping couple drip of crazy clue into his/her office's keyhole when he/she's not in. I normally do that on combination locks... -- That, or small bits of wire. Works great on door locks, too. And the best thing, very hard to spot and prove. -- If you're going to glue coins to someone's car, you should glue them at the base of the window where it won't open. In an attempt to remove the coins, they will usually shatter their own window.
#43 PARTY BREAKER. By Darren. Ok, here is the deal: You go to a house-party where you don't exactly know the people throwing it (fuck, it doesn't matter you could know the people). Get an old electrical socket (the thing you plug in the wall) leave about 2 feet of it hanging off, remove the plastic, and twist the wires together. When you plug it in the socket, the electricity breaker will trip, thereby turning off the electricity, therefor the lights will go out, thereby allowing you to rob the house if you want!!!! It works! I tried it, but I didn't rob the house! It just makes a more interesting party when no one knows why the fuck all the lights went out, and is too stupid to check the electrical box and put the breaker back on!
#44 JUNK MAIL REPLY. By DanD, Tommy the Tourist, Lee Lorenz, Here's a great idea for returning reply mailers ... glue the ENTIRE inside of the envelope together... better still, glue many pieces of paper together, then glue the envelope together. All-in-all pretty harmless, but imagine the poor shmuck trying to pull that sucker open without tearing something. (Even one better, put a generic check, made out for $$$ inside, so the shmuck gets distraught at destroying it!!!) -- You might want to make sure that all address labels and anything inside containing your name are removed first. I'm told that "misuse" of "business reply envelopes" is a violation of US Postal Service regulations. "Discretion is advised", as they say. -- I like to cross-mail my junk mail. Take company A's crap, extract the post-paid envelope. Do the same to company B's junk mailing. Insert A's pamphlets, letters, testimonials, etc, into B's envelope, and vice versa. Basically, REMAIL your junkmail to some other company, and let the recipient pay for it! This is most fun with creative selection. Send the catalog of adult movies to the local church. Send the request for donations to the local church to the local homeless shelter. Have fun!
#45 SNOW MAN. By DanD. I've always enjoyed building a snowman over a fire hydrant. There's always someone to come along who thinks wrecking some kid's snowman is FUN. He soon discovers that having a broken foot is not fun.
#46 LANDLORD REVENGE. By Frank Reid, Mary, David K. Bryant and DanD. Install a hidden doorbell or other electric noisemaker in the basement. Run the (buried) wires out to the alley and hide the end under a rock. At 0300, connect a battery to the wires just long enough for the lights in the house to go on. Repeat at random intervals longer than one week. Something similar could be done wirelessly: Garage-door receivers and transmitters (less door mechanism) are inexpensive at Sears, et al. -- Periodically I would be scheduled to work an all-nighter. Before leaving for work I would turn off my answering machine and place both of my phones next to our common bedroom wall. During the night I would call my number and let it ring five times and hang up. I'd wait thirty seconds and try again. After ten minutes of that I'd wait maybe half an hour and start again. Sometimes I'd dial my number and then just put the phone down and go back to work for half an hour or so. Hey, I was up and awake -- why shouldn't they be. I'd come home the next day and get the evil eye. Hey, I don't know who was trying to call. I wasn't here. Everyone that needs to reach me has my pager number. Must have been a wrong number. The next one was an accident but could be applied deliberately... Another thing you can do is set the alarm clock at, say, 5:30, then just let it stand there and ring. -- Art....Do you pay utilities separate from rent? If not...how about leaving the water running all day and cranking the heat up real high and opening the windows (assuming its real cold out).... -- Plant some marijuana in the garden(s.) Let it grow a little. Turn them in. The local law can seize the property. (meaning the cops take away the house and the owners do not get it back!) Bullshit laws, but hey. Might as well do some good with them. The case has to be proven, of course, but it will at least cause some discomfort.
#47 REVENGE TOWARDS THE POLICE. By Paal D. Ekran and Toby Lane. Okay, here is the deal.. You've just driven faster than the speed limit, the police are after you.. Now do this.. Drive a bit faster (preferably at the speed limit), just until the police are just behind you.. Then hit the brakes.. You know, just lock the wheels. If you are "lucky" the police will drive straight into you, and you can go out and make the best out of it. Eg, you've borrowed the car and what the heck is you daddy going to say now whatever.. -- First of all, be very, very careful. Honest cops (no oxymoron jokes please) can come down on you hard if they think you are going to mess with them, and corrupt cops are not restricted by the moral or even legal restraints that the honest ones are. If you have already antagonized these guys, don't even think of doing anything for at least six months, as any shit that happens to them will make them suspect you immediately. If you can, work through a TRUSTED proxy. The best stunt is to use the cops supposed powers against them. Find a very attractive married woman that you don't know and get her phone number (you're creative, you'll think of something) Phone her up from a bar or public phone and claim to be Officer X. Tell her that you saw her in her car and used your car computer to get her phone number and address from the number plate on her car. Tell her you love her. Be graphic. If she says that shes married, threaten to arrest the husband on some trumped up charge (sadly, drug possesion charges seem to get severe sentances in the States, so use this one) so that you can be with her. Do this (with variations) on as many important and influential people and/or their families as you can. They will be the only people who are able to weild enough influence to get rid of Officer Asshole.
#48 EMAIL FLOOD. By Paal D. Ekran I just got a cool idea for email flood, just forge an email from a person account to a mailing list telling them that you are interested in participating. After awhile his mailbox will be full of waste and some of those lists are a bit hard to unsubscribe (as he would have to search through some documentation first and that's work) as for how to forge an email, see #40.
#49 AIDS MOBILE. From 'Advanced Backstabbing & Mudslinging Techniques by George Hayduke) This landlord was so bad he would be charged with littering at a crack house. That was the kind of person running an apartment complex in Atlanta, where he gouged rent, was a cruel racist without cause, and cheated everyone. My friend Neal suggested a clever way 'to add some perspective' to this jerk's life. "Through a friend, I got hold of a plain rental van. We made up a large, professional-looking sign for both sides of the van." The sign read: AIDS MOBILE TESTING UNIT PUBLIC HOUSING DIVISION "We parked the van in the street, right across from the parking lot of this ass____'s apartment building," Neal said. "We were directly across from his rental office". There was a great deal of official landlord consternation about the van being parked there for two days. Mr. Landlord called every government agency and person in the phone book to question in great panic what was happening. "Naturally he found out zip, because no one knew anything about it -- bureaucracies being what they are. It worked great...there were all sorts of rumors in the neighborhood among realtors and rental agents, and we heard that a couple of people actually moved out".
#50 POWER FAILURE. By Mary and Paal D. Ekran Sneak in when they are not home and carefully open up the electrical wall sockets or the tiles of a suspended ceiling. Insert scrap pieces of raw chicken in the wall or ceiling and close it back up. The smell will be terrible and they wont be able to figure out where it's coming from. You could always just hide the pieces around the apt. too, (under the kitchen sink, in a linen closet, between box spring and matress). You get the idea. -- Well, since you already are in the sockets, why not forging a short-circuit? BTW, you're breaking in at someone elses house. Don't think they won't report it to the police. #51. FLUORESCEIN AND SOME OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WITH IT. By Frank Reid. Fluorescein is THE stuff to color pools. It is the orange powder found in Navy-surplus sea-dye markers (available inexpensively at surplus stores). It is an intense yellow dye that fluoresces brilliant green in sunlight. They put it in the Chicago River on St. Patrick's Day. Hydrologists use it to trace underground streams and verify sources of pollution. Cavers have been run out of towns for using too much fluorescein and turning the city water green. It's harmless but disconcerting! Place the powdered dye in a waterproof container (e.g. a condom) and conceal it in your swimming trunks (!). Dive down to the deepest part of the municipal swimming pool, where the intake for the filter system is located. Hold onto the grate, cut open the container such that all the contents are sucked into the intake. A few minutes later, all the nozzles around the periphery will squirt brilliant green water. You can start a rumor that it's deadly liquid chlorine, or raw sewage if it's a cloudy day and the dye appears yellow instead of green. More evil things to do with fluorescein: Place the powder in a salt shaker with closable holes (available from dealers of camping supplies). Sprinkle it on the mark's front porch or door mat such that his kids or customers track it inside. Sprinkle it in the mark's car's upholstery: It doesn't become obvious until a rainy day, and it will _never_ come out completely. Sprinkle it on a tile or linoleum floor: The more they mop, the greener it gets! Sprinkle it on the floor of the opposing team's locker room, and spread rumors about a horrible foot disease...
#52 THE GREAT CAR REVENGE. By David K. Bryant, Toby Lane, Hiram, Tapas Pain, Paal D. Ekran, Neil P. Montoya, John Armstrong, Bjoern Stenbakken, Kirby Roy Stewart, Joan Tine, Steve McQueen, Mark Loop and Simon Wright. A rather easy and annoying way to get someone is to wrap glad-wrap around his/her car exhaust pipe. This will create a rather unpleasant stink when hey are driving! -- Put some sort of racially degrading bumpersticker on his/her car. Survey the local area and find out what ethnic group is the most militant, and use that one for your assault. Otherwise, generic "White Power" or "Give America Back to Real Americans", "The Klu Klux Klan - Working for Real Americans". If their car isn't torched or mutilated within a few days, send them on a drive through the *bad* part of town. If you're at all electrically inclined... Cross wire their headlights to their horn. Great way for them to make friends with the neighbors, especially if they leave home at 5 AM. -- An idea that I haven't tested but seem to have a big potential is to remove the valve stem on a tire and quickly superglue an eraser in its place. I figure it should hold until the first good size bump the car hits. Another possibility would be to do them the favor of getting their valve stems real good and tight. (i.e. strip the threads.) -- This one only works in the winter in temps below freezing but it's good. Get one of those small air tanks, you know like the ones we've all seen on big pickups or tow trucks (we used to have one in our garage for our bikes when I was a kid). Fill it up about 3/4 with water then pressurize it. Go to the car you want to revenge and let the air out of one or two tires. Then refill the tires using the tank you brought with. The water will freeze solid and every time they take off after having let the car sit a while they'll get a strange "thump-thump" that mysteriously goes away by the time they ever get to a mechanic. Should be sufficient to cause some good repair bills. -- Feminist used this trick in Oslo mid. 70'ties. They sprayed "Hore Kunde." meaning: "whore customer" at the side of the whore customer's car. There are many other things you can spray at a person's car for example blow me, I have AIDS, I'm cheating my wife, dial (phone no.), I am horney, etc. -- What really works is brake fluid (non silicone) on the paint. This will rust the hell out of it in a matter of days. Also if you are in a hurry you could buy a can of Hungry Jack biscuits and put them on the car at night. The next morning he will need to take a hammer and chisel to get that mess off, and he will take the paint with it. -- Get a hype and fill it with Fox Urine Lure from your local hunting supply. Insert the needle in the rubber gasket or coaming that seals the window or door and spray the inside of the car. For months the car will be sticky, and every time the weather warms up it will smell like Boy Fox in Love. -- My friend Helen said she once suranwraped her enemy's car. She wrapped the plastic around the car, from bottom to top. If the car sits in the sun, say Phoenix Arizona sun, it makes it real fun. Be sure to cover the door handles and locks. -- Tie your enemy's car to the something on his house or his other car or something (use solid rope or a chain) for example, attaching it to the door knob on the outhouse-door should make much damage. This works best if the chain or rope is long. Approx. 20-30 meters. Do it in the dark, and cover the rope with some sand or something. Then you can sit back and wait for him to drive to his school or job. (The longer the rope, the better, because he will then gain more speed before anything happens.) -- Get a C-clamp from a hardware store. Slide under the car (you may need a skinny accomplice) and use the clamp to squeeze the exhaust pipe flat. But not completely flat. Leave about 1/2 cm so that the car will start fine and drive OK in traffic but when heavy acceleration or high speed driving is needed it is gutless. This should give similar indications of fuel starvation. You could also crush the fuel line. -- Another way to poka-dot a car is to throw fresh bologna on it at night when it is dewy out. Next day, they peel it off and 'Viola! Poka-dot paint, just what the doctor ordered. -- This one would require the victim to be on a long vacation and their car needs to be kinda hidden from view of too many people. Get a good jack, jack up their car and make small slits in the tops of the tires. Pour the concrete in and let it dry. When it is dry lower the car and clean up as much as possible. Won't they be surprised. -- Some high students in Ohio (I think) actually pulled this one off. They got their hands on a large amount of plaster of Paris bandages, the kind wrapped around splints which harden and form a cast, you know what I'm talking about? It took four of them ten minutes to completely mummify the car, then they ran a hose over it and hardened it solid. Difficult and expensive to pull off but when it comes to making the guy look like a complete sphincter, this is the best trick I have ever heard of. To really fuck up tires, pull out the "stems" (where you put in the air) with pliers. But leave them there beside the tires because, for some reason, the schned you have done this to will almost always try to push them back in. This is an absolutely hilarious sight if you dare hang around and watch it. Get the distributor cap, take it out, and run a simple graphite pencil over the rotor brushes. The engine will sputter and misfire. Three or four Alka-Seltzers in each battery compartment will kill it quicker than prunes through a short granny. For the fuel tank, the following I recommended Crushed cork, Silicone carbide or Sugar, but make it icing sugar. Shellac thinner added to "gas" as you guys call it, will cause the engine to sputter and misfire, but it goes out the exhaust pretty quickly. Use about a gallon, and keep adding it over a time. The car owner will keep taking it to a mechanic, who will keep finding nothing wrong with the engine, annoying them both. Styrene, don't add it to the "gas" but to the oil. It breaks down the oil and this locks up the engine. You need to use about one pint to every four quarts of oil, (Do Americans still use imperial measurements?) and it will take about 1.5 to 2 hours of road time. One final piece of advice. When adding stuff to a "gas" tank (A) Put the stuff in a metal gasoline can. That way anyone who sees you will assume that it is gasoline. (B) Don't forget a funnel. Seems obvious, but I've forgotten, ahem or would have if I had ever actually done any of these tricks which of course I haven't, they're illegal and I would never dream of blah blah blah.... Now to get his car, wait until dark and your roommate is out. With some very trusted friends, put his car on blocks and take off all the nuts on the wheels. Put superglue on the "threads" of the bolts and screw on the nuts as tightly as possible. Then file the edges of the nuts so they cannot be gripped by a spanner easily. Then puncture all four tires. His mechanic will need literally weeks to get it back on the road. -- Put the car it in neutral, put it in a handicapped space, put an anti-police bumper sticker on it, and call the cops. I recommend "BEAUTIFY THE WORLD -- KILL A COP TODAY" The cop will find extra citations. If you are really mean, a little bag of pot tucked past the door-frame where it can be seen (stretch the door top out and drop it through) will put him into the nightmare world of our legal system) I wouldn't use the embellishment, myself, but it would really fuck him up. The question is, are you mad enough to ruin this guy's life? -- I heard Ping-Pong balls also work well. As the gas line decreases, the balls will stop up the intake line forcing the car to run in jerky motions the more the driver hits the gas. I like your idea too though. -- If he already has his own locking gas cap, you could make it "REAL SECURE" for him. Break off some toothpicks and super glue or epoxy them into the lock. -- Anyone thought about just spilling a lot of of paint on a car? It could be quite expensive.. Hmmm, try spraying hooker customer on the side of his car.. That's a cool one... -- Three more good ones.... Registered Sex Offender Child Molester and Paroled Rapist These really improve community relations. -- I have found that the viscous paint stripper does a (Billy Crystal ->) marvelous job on automobile paint. Be sure the surface is dry. A little dew reduces the effect. Just pour a blob on the hood (bonnet). Paal> Try tape used for sealing envelopes. :-) A previous suggestion of draining the oil from the engine is fine as far as it goes but unfortunately there are gauges and warning lights. Try the transmission. One benefit of this is that they will breakdown somewhere besides the front yard.
#53 GRAFFITI WITH AJAX. By Toby Lane. Just got this from a friend and it sounds like a good one. If you want graffiti that will really stick around, get a big sheet of paper and write your message on it with liquid Ajax (for you Americans, Comet?) Something like "(Name of person you hate) blows goats" or whatever. You take the paper to the wall, douse it in lighter fluid, stick it to the wall, make a lighter fluid trail away from the wall and light it. The whole thing burns in about one second, so there is no fire danger, but your message gets stuck to the wall by some chemical process, and it is virtually impossible to get off. I urge you to use on the delightful Canter and Seigel, preferably on the walls of their lovely home. You can also use a lot of little pieces of paper to make one really big message.
#54 POOL REVENGE. By John Hong, L. A. Spangler and Florin Cutzu. Just pour dysenteric shit in the pool - you may get it (freely!) from any Infectious Diseases clinic; if not, thouroughly mix a hefty volume (you may need a little help from your friends here) of fresh, steaming, healthy shit with warm water, and add it to the pool. A good eye infection is guaranteed... -- Fling in rancid fatty chicken/fish parts ferchristsakes. If there are any scavenger birds in the area, they will just add to the amusement. (I am told vulture shit is VERY gross) The fat should leave a nice ring. A road kill/large animal carcass would be rather impressive. Also, consider motor oil/crisco/lard/etc. If you used used motor oil and finked on em to the EPA/Local TV maybe they would have to call in a hazardous waste disposal company instead of just sending it down the drain. Add some Styrofoam peanuts/cups and gasoline and light the fucker at night with a model rocket motor, a battery and a loooong wire? I had great fun just lobbing mud balls into a pool -- makes a nice plop sound (they shouldn't be home or you run fast -yes!?) and leaves nice round dirt rings on the pool bottom. Another thing that could be cool is throwing plaster/clay/cement/gravel into the pool. If you poured enough cement into the bottom drain quickly so the pump got jammed, the cement might still have enough lime to harden underwater. In the *real sick* section, we have: Really firm floating feces, used sanitary napkins/tampax, used diapers, used condoms or scanky underwear -- Kodak, and other chemical companies sell classes of chemicals called surficants. These essentially make water more slippery. In a fountain with close tollerances, (water hits 1 inch from edge) a good surficant can send the water splashing 3 inches beyond the fountain pool...drain the fountain in short order, and burn out the pump. Another alternative would be long chain polimers, the same stuff things like astro-gel and slippery-stuff is made out of. It's not hard to duplicate the recipe...a good friend did. But should make hot-tubbing a lot more fun.
#55 SHOWER REVENGE. By Denise L Voskuil, Frank Reid, David Gillies, DanD. Cathleen Gallagher and John L. Kinsella. If the victim is a habitual person, unscrew the shower head in the shower you expect him/her to use and drop a bouillon cube or two in. The hot water will slowly melt the cube and the victim probably won't notice until it's too late. The smell hangs on for a day or so. This worked well in my dorm. -- Well, since we've moved to the shower, here's one: Empty their bottle of shampoo, then fill it back up with nair. -- A follow-up to my previous posting on the effectiveness of Nair: the stuff may not always be effective on leg hair, from my personal experience. (I haven't personally been revenged by the "Nair in the shampoo" method, nor have I done it -- this should clarify my previous remarks.) My SO did this to someone, and it caused a fair amount of hair loss, with some clumps lost. The results may vary according to how much Nair you put in the shampoo bottle. Also, try to get a type that smells pretty good -- I think there's different scents, and from my recollection it does have a distinct smell. You don't want to tip off your target when they pour out the shampoo. BTW, the stuff is opaque, so if they use transparent shampoo, it'll be noticeable. Finally, see if they sell an "extra-strength" version, to really wreak havoc. -- Try substituting real honey for the mark's honey-colored shampoo. Honey has a slight odor that the mark may detect, and it's water-soluble, so this is a mild trick. If you want to get really nasty, use STP (tm) oil treatment. It's not only odorless but, unlike most oils, soap won't dissolve it! It's also nasty on windshield wipers... -- It seems to me that the trouble with spiking shampoo with a depilatory is that you just whack the stuff on your head, squeegee it about a bit, and rinse off. What you need is something that is going to stay on the victim's bounce for a bit longer. How about conditioner? A minute's exposure might not turn the victim into Yul Brynner, but it's got to be better than the few seconds exposure you get from shampoo. I guess the ultimate medium would be a home perm kit, or a hair dye solution. After all, you don't want to wash that out. -- How to add Nair: 1) Pour a small amount of shampoo into a cup. 2) Add Nair to the remaining shampoo until you can smell it. (A little at a time, then shake well each time) 3) Add the small amount of shampoo from the cup back into the bottle. The small amount you add back will cover the SLIGHT smell you detected at the end of step 2. #56 USING DOGS FOR REVENGE PURPOSE. By Toby Lane, DanD, Paal D. Ekran and Thomas Gauldin. "Dognap" the critter (sedating it first is recommended) and take it to a the most expensive kennel you can find. Explain that you are going away for a week and demand the very best for little Foo-Foo (or Chopper or whatever its name is) Leave them your neighbor's address and phone number and make a cash down payment for the first day if necessary, which it sometimes is. Your neighbor will get a call about ten days and several hundred bucks later. Warning: Get a trusted friend to check the dog into the kennel, don't do it yourself. -- They make bark-deterrent devices that don't need to be attached to the dog. When the device detects a bark, it emits a high-frequency sound that hurts the dog. (You can't hear it) Every time the dog barks, it gets a painful blast. It will learn not to bark soon enough. -- If the dog is left outdoors at night, become its friend. Then, shave it -or just its rear. If its rear is shaved, grease it up and make an anonymous call to the police to report the person as a pervert having sex with the dog. -- Remember that dogs are animals, and it is the owner we want to revenge, not the animal. Animals are innocent creatures and they can't really help it, they have to bark.. :-)
#57 FIBERGLASS IN THE CLOTHES. By Toby Lane. Put a small piece of fiberglass in with their clothes when they're in the spin dryer. It itches like hell and may give them a rash. Or try some colored wax crayons.
#58 THE DORM MATE HAS A BORING GIRLFRIEND. By Martin Hannigan. Be really nice to her. By her a small gift every now and then. Smile at her a lot. Look at her tits as much as possible. Comment on her ass to her boyfriend. Piss in the hamper. Pray at the dinner table, or whenever they are around. Fart in front of them. #59 THE DORM MATE STEALS THE FOOD. By John Hein, Christopher G. Wakefield Mike Smith, Phinn and John Hein. Another jolly prank involves a frozen chicken and a fridge that you know will not be stolen from. Remove frozen chicken from secure fridge every night and defrost it. In the morning, return it to the fridge to freeze. Do this for a week, then put it into the fridge from which comestibles are walking. A considerable case of food poisoning should result! -- Try fart powder available in magic shops, never tried it, but it sounds interesting -- I found a pintsized carton of chocolate milk and "ripened" it for a few days by leaving it on top of the heater in my room. After a couple of weeks I put it back in the dorm fridge. Mere hours later someone attempted to drink it. Didn't lose any more food the rest of the quarter. -- Bake any amount of chocolate flavored Ex-Lax into a recipe that normally has chocolate. Also make sure to include the normal amount of chocolate. If anyone asks just say they are "double chocolate" or some garble like that. It's also good to disguise the flavor with additional chocolate (chocolate topping, etc.). A really nifty way of hiding it is "chocolate chip" brownies. Make the brownies as you normally would but include chopped up Ex-Lax instead of the chocolate chips. You can also spoil yogurt and hide the taste with fruit or whatever else you want to add. Yogurt has an inherently sour tasting food anyway, so it's easy to mask spoiling. This may cause several forms of stomach pain. Syrup of Ipecac also mixes very well into yogurt. This substance is sold in very small doses at your local drugstore. It induces vomiting instantly. You could also bake "decoys". Substitute baking soda for sugar, or flower. This makes for a reasonable looking, but thoroughly awful tasting concoction. Best with yellow or light brown muffins. It's hard to detect :) Then there's the psychological terror you can invoke. After several cookies or brownies have been stolen go to get one yourself and "find" a dead bug in the box. Make several comments about laying eggs. This is usually best when accompanied by one of the above tactics. It might make them wonder how exactly they came to need to use the bathroom so frequently for whatever reason. -- You could always try Antabuse in their food before they go out for a drink.
#60 THE DORM MATE IN GENERAL. By Martin Hannigan, Nancy Passwater Crystal V. Freitas and Denise L Voskuil. Why not coat all of their clean dishes (assuming they have any) with that stuff people put on their fingernails to keep from biting them? I used it once, it tastes repulsive. I suggested she do this right before they pack up to leave after their lease runs out. -- That stuff hardens like nail polish, so I'm not sure what it would do on dishes. It might work if hot food is put on the plate. Then again, it might flake off and be noticed before eating - though they'd still have a hell of a time cleaning the dishes off. One possibility is the "Bitter Apple/Lime/etc." sprays and pastes. It's a non-harmful but _bitter_ substance used to keep pets from chewing on things, and comes in a pump spray (there's also a no-alcohol version for plant leaves - I suspect the alcohol version may last longer) and a tube of paste (good for furniture). You could spray it on their dishes, pour some into their juice, mix it into their jelly/jam, and so on. -- Place a Snickers Bar, or one with chocolate and peanuts in their bed, preferably while they're sleeping. The body heat will melt the candy bars and the result will be chocolate and peanuts smeared all over the subject. It will appear as though the subject had shit himself. Remember to take the wrappers away and discard them where they aren't obvious. Take pictures of the victim when they get out of bed if possible. -- What about some bleach in their liquid clothes detergent? Especially the brand they use to do their colored clothes in. Comet with bleach, the cleanser, might make a good paste when mixed with some water to replace the toothpaste with and I don't think there is any long-lasting side affects as it is so kind to bathroom appliances. (Actually I can swear to this -- I ate comet as a kid and I'm sorta all right.) There are several bathroom cleansers that might mix well with toothpaste and leave a bad tasting mouth and burning gums. Or go into the conditioner. Crazy glue in hair gel? Or bleach in any kind of spritzing hair spray -- this would be most interesting if they have dark hair, and you would be able to see the effects quickly. (Be kind, this is my first try, and I seem to have gotten stuck on bleach.)
#61 REVENGE AGAINST GROCERY STORES. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis and Richard R. Moore. If you're working in a grocery store where you can make free calls for deliveries, orders, etc. and you want some revenge on your boss. Try one of those sex numbers. Put a tape on the hang-up so that when the boss picks it up in a couple of hours he will have a $500.00 phone bill. You can also try this, pluss connecting the speaker to the loudspeakers in the store. Go up to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish. Just say it's for a customer. Now when nobody's looking stick it way up a cash register or far behind an aisle. In about 2 days the place will smell like somebody died. If your store has radiators or heat sources, take a carton of cream and open it up and put in the the radiator. It will smell like somebody shit and it will blow it all over the store! This is a great way of discouraging customers! -- Go to the grocery store on the first Saturday of the month, typically the busiest day of the month, get a grocery cart and pick a customer that is dressed in a manner that makes them look like a stereotypical shoplifter. Preferably one that is dressed a bit heavy for the weather. walk up to the store manager in an excited manner and tell him " That man/woman just put 2 packages of steaks down his pants." This should lead to some interesting events for the store. Breed some maggots and drop them in thier meat case just before closing and call your local health department. Find out information about the store such as names of the department managers,store manager,store number, and address of the store. Then call local meat distributors in the early afternoon, 2pm to 3pm, tell them you are at store number XXX and need to come by and get a few cases of Ribeyes ( expensive ). If the distributor acts like he doesn't know what store it is they probably don't have an account there so try another distributor. Once you have a properly responsive person taking your order, go pick up your Ribeyes and have a barbecue, inviting me of course :-). If you start shopping there and get friendly with the right people you can ask which local distributors they buy from. BTW what I have described here is very common practice in meat departments and would not seem out of the ordinary to a distributor so long as the store has an existing account. You could also get a part-time job in the store. This should not be very hard to do since turnover is very high in a grocery store. Find out where the control panels are for the freezers and coolers and one day when you are working until the store closes turn off the freezers and coolers. This should cause a substantial loss for the store.
#62 MISC. REVENGE. By Tapas Pain and Lance Stahlberg. Call child abuse authorities, tell them these rednecks are pedophiles. Go to the post office and hand in change of address cards for them -- have their mail forwarded to China. Call the electric company and gas company and have all of their power shut off. Call the phone company and cancel their phone service. Cancel their cable t.v. service. Ram potatoes and bananas into the tailpipe of their pickups. Put oil slicks on their driveway (not big ones, just slightly behind the tires of their pickups). Call the newspaper and put their house up for sell asking $15,000.00 less than the retail value. Put an add in the newspaper advertising an Acura NSX for sale, $18,000.00, brand new, only 2,000 kms, fully stocked. Owner must move immediately, desperate. Their phone will ring off the hook. Of course, do this only two weeks after you've killed their phone service. Call a gravel company and ask them to deliver 500 lbs. of gravel and dump it on the driveway. If the company says the need verification, ask them to call back and verify. Go ahead and give the target's phone number. The psychological terror they will feel knowing that someone wants to deliver them 500 lbs. of gravel will work wonders. Order food for them (Chinese, pizza). Only order small amounts as large amounts raise suspicion. Give targets phone number and let them verify. Psychological terror. Send local politician's death threats and sign the redneck's names to it. -- Take the guy's bed and put it out in either the study lounge, lobby, or bathroom .. fully made of course. Bleach on the toilet seat .. white seats only (VERY cruel) Shaving cream in his socks Shaving cream at the foot of his bed IcyHot in the jock strap. Replace his/her shampoo w/ maple syrup. (REALLY EXCEPTIOALLY cruel if done right .. get lots of calomine lotion for the bugs)
#63 REVENGE ON UNFAITHFUL WIFE. By Dave Bushong. I know someone whose wife at the time was fooling around on him, but thought no one knew. She used the tactic "best defense is a good offense", telling people that the husband was actually sleeping around. So the guy laser-prints up this survey form, and rents a PO Box, and mails her the survey form. It says "this form is being sent to ten thousand random women who subscribe to [some magazine that she gets]. You will remain anonymous, so please be totally honest." In fact, this was the only copy of the survey, but she was pretty stupid, and fell for it. It was a survey about marital fidelity, and asked questions like "How many men other than your husband have you had relations with," "How often were you unfaithful," and stuff like that. Anyway, she answered honestly, and mailed the form back to the PO Box. This piece of paper came in really handy when they were discussing the terms of their divorce.
#64 REVENGE AGAINST SOME NAZI-FEMINIST. By Paal D. Ekran. If you have access to a scanner/paintprogram/printer, then take a picture of her, scan it, look at some FSP bases for some nude women, something that looks like her, like same positioning size etc. Hack'n'slash a bit on the picture and print it out. Hang it on a display-board or something... --
#65 LOOPED FAX TRICK. By MAD Mosher and Paal D. Ekran Print out about 8 sheets filled with crap. I dunno - one sheet with "FUCK" written all over, one with "SHIT", so forth... Stick them together with tape, and feed into the fax machine. Dial one of their offices and start the message. When the first sheet comes out the other end, tape it to the end opf the message. You now have one big loop of paper which you can leave. This will run up their phone bill and use a load of expensive fax paper at the other end. Best ides would be to do this just before clocking off at the end of the day so that it runs overnight... -- Totally black paper might overheat the fax machine.
#66 USING ANON ACCOUNT. By Paal D. Ekran The general idea here is to post an article in a contact group, telling readers to contact your victim. First of all, you have to have an anonymous account. At present is anon.penet.fi the safest and most used one. To get information on how to use it, email help@anon.penet.fi, in awhile you will get a response with a script that contains information on how to use the system. The system is very slow, so you might have to wait awhile. Try also email to ping@anon.penet.fi, just to confirm your anon number. It might take some hours to process, but it works. You will then have an account number, this number represents your ID. Read the info on how to work the anon account, and post your article. It can be like: "loney guy 25 year, blond, 6' high, looking for men to bond with, call me at #555-1127 (the guy's phone no.)", or it could be like "I want girls for hot phone sex, call ....", or "Call my new BBS for hot software (ph. no)." example groups: groups like alt.sex, alt.sex.wanted. groups like alt.amiga.software and such groups like forsale or market groups like alt.fan.(some music group)
#67 KRAZY GLUE REVENGE. By George 'Pinhead' Curtis. Ah, that wondrous compund, cyanoacrylate. Many, many companies make the stuff but we all affectionately refer to it as KRAZY GLUE. In my first pranks file about half the file was devoted to Krazy Glue, and its many blessings, and after giving it some thought, have come up with some more gems for ya. In this file, it shall be demonstrated that it is possible to sabotage nearly ANYTHING with Krazy Glue. More Krazy Glue Tricks: - Krazy Glue your enemy's radio on a station he HATES; if you like, do the same thing to his volume control, at full volume. - Krazy Glue all your enemy's (or your school's) light switches off. - Krazy Glue the Teacher's briefcase SHUT. - Krazy Glue the pages of your enemy's textbooks and notes together. White Glue can be substituted here. - Krazy Glue your enemy's disk drive door shut. - Put a drop of Krazy Glue inside each of your enemy's diskettes. - Put a drop of Krazy Glue on the pins of your enemy's print head. - Krazy Glue all your school's microscopes out-of-focus. - If your enemy ever removes his shoes in your presence and turns his back on you for any reason, Krazy Glue the soles to the floor. Or Krazy Glue the laces together. - Rearrange all those plug connectors on the back of your enemy's stereo, into a random order. Krazy Glue the on so they can't be put back. - Krazy Glue the reels of your enemy's cassette tapes, so they won't turn. - Krazy Glue your enemy's medicine cabinet shut. - Alternatively, Krazy Glue all the toothpaste tubes, pill bottles, etc to the shelves of same med. cabinet. - If your enemy is a diabetic and you want to reduce him to fear for his life, Krazy Glue the plungers of all his insulin syringes so he can't inject. This is also good to do to druggies. - Krazy Glue your enemy's ni-cads into the charger. Put a few non- rechargeables in as well. - Krazy Glue all your enemy's flies open. Krazy glue all his other zippers shut. - Krazy Glue the containers in the enemy's fridge shut. or, alternatively, Krazy Glue the whole fridge door shut. - If your enemy is a shooting fan, then Krazy Glue the trigger of his favorite gun so it won't work when he goes to the range. Major Embarrassment. - Krazy Glue your enemy's kid's TransFormer so that it won't TransForm. - Unplug your enemy's TV cable. Put a drop of Krazy Glue in that tiny hole in the middle of the wall jack. Don't bother plugging it back in, and when the enemy goes to plug it back in, he won't be able to. - Put that asshole's favorite disks into one of his disk boxes. Krazy Glue the box SHUT. - Krazy Glue that little rubber plug on the bottom of the dick's piggy bank ON. - Cut a tiny (1/8") slit into the cunt's Hacky Sack. Through this slit, saturate the whole innards of the sack with Krazy Glue. Use a whole tube of the shit if you like. Your enemy will not even notice until he goes to give the footbag a good solid BOOT, and it will be ROCK hard by that time. - Deflate the tires on your enemy's transportation. Krazy Glue the valves shut and the tires to the wheel's rim. - Krazy Glue the enemy's lights into their sockets. Wait for them to burn out. - Krazy Glue the snooze bar of the enemy's alarm clock so that he can't shut off the alarm when it goes without unplugging the damn thing. - If your enemy is rinning for prez or something, Krazy Glue his campaign posters to the walls. After the election is over he will be required to take the things down, but what if he can't?????? - Since Krazy Glue doesn't set too well under moist conditions, it is a good idea to substitute EPOXY for Krazy Glue when you glue the toilet handle (either your enemy's or all the school's) so it can't flush. - Krazy Glue the caps of beer bottles to the bottles themselves. Do this with a case of your enemy's beer. - Krazy Glue buttons and joysticks of all the video games in that arcade that you got booted out of last week. - Krazy Glue all the beakers and test tubes etcetera to the shelves at your school's chem lab. - Krazy Glue that asshole teacher's glasses folded so he can't put them back on. - Saturate basketball nets with Krazy Glue. You will need a whole fuckload to do this, but it will be worth it when someone shoots the ball and it won't go thru the hoop..... - Krazy Glue hockey pucks into one big long cylinder.... - Krazy Glue mailboxes shut. - Krazy Glue blackboard erasers to the chalk tray. - In winter, open window on bus (just before you get off) and Krazy Glue it there. Driver and passengers will freeze. - Krazy Glue speaker cones so they won't make noise. - Krazy Glue the metal flap on the coin return of a vending machine so it won't open. BONUS: Later, come by with some Krazy Glue SOLVENT and take any coins the machine tried to return. - When sending letters to a stamp collecting enemy, send really neat, interesting stamps on the envelope. But Krazy Glue them on so he can't steam them off. - Krazy Glue that stupid cat's tail to the pavement of Hiway 1... - Or to its owner's front door... - Place many drops of Krazy Glue all over items of Enemy's clothing. The Krazy Glue will form circles about 1 inch in diameter that are ROCK SOLID, basiclyfucking 'em up. - Deflate enemy's soccer or basket ball. Place 1 drop of Krazy Glue in the inflating needle hole.